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“I’m sorry,” I reply, tightening my grip on his waist so he knows I’m not backing down. “It’s not you…”

“No apologies. No apologies, and no slowing down. Not on my account, anyway. You hear me?” His hand closes around my throat like a gentle warning–a soft rumble of thunder on the distant horizon before the floodgates open.

“I hear you.” When we kiss again, he grinds against me so our cocks rub together, and my groan escapes into his mouth.

“ Fuck , Theo!” he spits out. “You barely even have to fucking touch me and look how hard I am.” One of his hands stays clasped loosely around my throat, but the other drifts down to where our bodies are pressed together.

He swipes his finger over the head of my cock, collecting a drop of precum and bringing it to his mouth.

My jaw goes slack as he rolls his tongue around the tip of his finger, closing his eyes and humming with pleasure.

The look on his face, and the noises he makes, not to mention how hard he is, serves as my confirmation that he wants this.

He wants me , just me, as much as I want him.

The idea of it builds like a thunderhead in my chest, darkening and straining for release, until finally a bolt of lightning shoots through me.

I slip out from between him and the bed to open my nightstand and pull out a condom.

Ben leans over and peeks into the drawer, then grabs the bottle of lube I was about to reach for.

“Be honest with me, osito ,” he says playfully, “how old is this shit?”

“I…uh…I actually bought it last week,” I admit as my face heats up.

“Ohh,” Ben breathes, tossing the bottle onto the bed and pressing himself up against me again, then reaching around to grab my ass. “So, Saint Theo has been thinking about fucking me for a while then?”

I roll my eyes and grin. “I just wanted to…be prepared.”

“God , you’re such a fucking Boy Scout,” Ben breathes with a wide smile, pulling me toward the bed. I hold back and put my hand on his chest.

“I know you don’t like slowing down, Ben…” I hold the wrapped condom up between us. “But…”

He sighs and smiles, then threads his fingers through mine. “When you’re right, you’re right. I got tested about a month before I met you and Annie. Didn’t hook up with anyone in between.”

“I…haven’t gotten one since college,” I tell him, “but it was right after I started dating Ros, and we were always exclusive.”

“Scout’s honor?” Ben asks, holding three fingers up beside his dimpled cheek.

“Fuck you,” I laugh.

“Yeah, you’d better.” Ben’s grin fades a little, and he holds my face between his hands. “I trust you, Theo. Wear it or don’t, nothing is going to change how I feel about this–about you.”

“Nothing?” I ask, putting my hand over his and searching his dark eyes.

“I mean…if you wanted to bring Star Wars shit into the bedroom, I’d have some questions, but…

” His grin returns and I lean into him, pressing a deep, slow kiss to his lips and slipping my tongue between his teeth.

He lets out a noise almost like a whimper and then says, “Whatever you decide, God, please do it quick. Every second you’re not inside me is fucking torture. ”

I reach behind him and toss the condom onto the bed, then stroke my fingers up and down his shaft. He looks like he’s about to come apart right there in my hand, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying it.

“Maybe I like watching you beg,” I murmur, catching his bottom lip between my teeth and biting down gently.

His entire body shudders as if it’s going to break down, and he reaches for the lube, smacks it into my chest, and holds my gaze.

There’s some kind of dark, aching fire behind his eyes that steals my breath.

No one has ever looked at me like t his, like my touch might push them to the brink of madness if they don’t get more.

“Luckily for you, pride is one of the only sins I’m not guilty of,” Ben whispers with his lips on my neck.

“You want me to beg, Theo? You got it. You’ve got all of me.

I’d do anything just to have even a piece of you.

A second of your time, a look, a kiss, my name on your tongue.

Whatever your fucking price is, I’ll pay it.

Anything. Just, please , put me out of my goddamn misery. ”

Completely unsure how I’ve held out this long, I grab his hips and spin him around.

He braces his hands on the mattress and waits, murmuring ‘please’ over and over under his breath as I apply the lube to both of us.

My hands are shaking by the time I run my thumbs over his tailbone and take a deep breath.

“Fingers first?” I ask softly, and he lets out a loud, frustrated groan, arching his back and then nodding quickly.

I start with one, then a second. Ben’s breathing quickens and my erection is almost painful now with how badly I need him, but I wrap my left arm around his waist and don’t stop until he reaches back and pushes me away.

“Not to be dramatic, but if you don’t fuck me right now, I think I might die,” he says with a weak laugh.

I grin and reach up to grab his shoulder, leaning over him as I line our bodies up.

Ben’s need for fast and hard overrides everything, and once the head of my cock is in, he pushes his hips back.

I cry out, my body folding over his as the sensation of his muscles clenching overwhelms me.

“Fuck!” I moan. “ Fuck , Ben, I forgot what this feels like. Goddamnit, I don’t know how long I can last…” He just laughs and starts to rock forward and back again, each breath more ragged than the last as he takes what he needs from me.

“How long has it been since your last confession, Saint Theo?” he asks, and I bury my sweat soaked face between his shoulder blades, half laughing and half moaning.

“Christ, Ben, you c an’t say shit like that with my dick inside you. It’s weird.”

“Well, you know how to shut me up.” He tilts his hips and shifts his weight backwards, pushing my cock deeper inside him, and the noise that comes out of his mouth awakens some small, primal thing in my chest. I straighten up and grab a fistful of his hair, jerking his head back and eliciting a loud gasp.

“Fuck that,” I mutter in his ear, thrusting harder, deeper, giving him exactly what he’s been after all night. “I want you screaming my name so damn loud that every person in this fucking building hears you. Understand?”

“Anything…you want…” Ben pants. “Just don’t fucking stop, Theo, please…”

I don’t stop, and neither does he, but I can’t hold out as long as I want to.

It’s already been weeks since Annie and I were together, combined with the fact that it’s been so many years since I was with another man.

It feels too fucking good. Better than I remember, or maybe that’s just Ben.

The way he moves and sounds, the things he says to me are too fucking good.

My body seizes hard as I come, and I fold over him again, grabbing his shoulders and sinking my teeth into his skin wherever I can find purchase, hoping I leave marks.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Ben…” I groan, but he doesn’t seem bothered. He laughs again, pulls away from me, then spins and collapses backwards onto the bed.

“As long as your mouth still works,” he grunts, pushing himself up on his elbows and grabbing my hair.

I grin and drop onto my knees, seizing his thighs and sliding him to the edge of the mattress, then taking his cock as deep into my mouth as I can.

His head drops back, his grip on my hair tightens, and he sighs, “Fuck, Theo, that’s it… good boy…”

Hearing him talk like that nearly pushes me over the edge again, and I wonder how many rounds of this I can do in a single night, because I never want it to end.