Page 2

Chapter 2

Nolan

The envelope—sealed with a monogrammed sticker and addressed in neat cursive—sat on my nightstand beside my phone. From the edge of my bed, I regarded the damn thing like a Habu that was coiled and ready to strike.

That was irrational and I knew it. It was an inanimate object, unmoving and non-threatening.

Oh, but it wasn’t as innocent as it looked, and nobody in the goddamned world would understand why but me.

Not just you. There’s one other person.

I closed my eyes as my stomach knotted and twisted around itself while a sickening shudder went up my spine.

“Fuck,” I whispered into the stillness.

A gentle bump at my elbow reminded me I wasn’t alone, and I looked down to see Velcro gazing up at me. I managed a smile as I scratched behind his ears, and he climbed into my lap, then started up my chest. I winced as his claws pricked through my shirt, but I didn’t mind too much. I had tattoos that’d hurt more than that, and anyway, in that moment, I was grateful for my endlessly affectionate cat.

I petted him as he pressed his head under my chin, and he purred so loud my downstairs neighbors could probably hear him.

I needed to open the envelope. I couldn’t avoid it. There was undoubtedly a request for an RSVP, even though I technically didn’t need to give one.

“I want you to be my best man,” my younger brother Matt had told me over FaceTime a while back. “I know you won’t be able to do a lot of the usual stuff, not from that far away, and that’s fine. But it would still really mean a lot.”

“Fuck yeah,” I’d said. “I’ll be there!”

And as soon as we’d ended the call, I’d gone across the hall to the bathroom and promptly heaved my guts out.

There was no way I’d let my brother down. No way I’d say no to him on his big day. Ever since I’d enlisted, I found every excuse imaginable to avoid coming home more than I absolutely had to, but I wouldn’t be a selfish ass and say no to being Matt’s best man. I could grit my teeth through everything else that couldn’t be avoided, keep a smile in place so nobody suspected anything, stand beside him during his wedding, and then get the hell out of my hometown until the next time I couldn’t say no.

I’d calmed myself down and tried not to get worked up over it then. I had time to get used to the idea and make a plan to keep myself sane.

A week or so ago, his fiancée had posted on social media that Save the Date cards were going out, but that had only vaguely registered. Somehow the whole thing—the wedding, going home, all of it—had still felt abstract and about as far away as my retirement from the Marine Corps.

But now this envelope was here.

Without even opening it, I knew what was inside.

My stomach roiled like it had the night he’d asked me to be his best man, though I didn’t get sick this time. I felt sick, but so far so good.

There was a date now. I’d have to request leave. Make travel arrangements. Go home. Face…

My mouth watered in that telltale way, but I forced it back.

Closing my eyes, I petted Velcro, and he kept kneading and purring. It soothed me, even if it didn’t fix a damn thing, so I just stayed like that for a moment.

Nothing was going to go away, though. I couldn’t ignore this into silence. I mean, I could, but then I’d let my brother down at the worst possible time, and I just couldn’t do that to him. He and Sophia didn’t deserve to have their wedding day ruined because of past bullshit that couldn’t be changed.

I took a couple of deep breaths. Then, carefully supporting Velcro with my arm, I leaned over and picked up the envelope. With his rump tucked into my elbow, I thumbed open the flap, tugged out the cream-colored card, and read the scripty text.

Save the Date! Sophia I’d be with someone who’d stop the instant he caught a whiff of resistance from me.

And damn it, I always felt good after he was done with me. And while he was working his magic.

Maybe that was what I needed more than anything—the reminder that everything was safe and consensual now.

So I cracked a grin. “Sure. Let’s go.”