Page 10

Chapter 10

Nolan

Riley was on another planet the next morning.

We weren’t hitting the road today, so we weren’t in any hurry to get moving. We’d been lounging for a solid hour and a half at the restaurant across the street from our hotel. Long after we’d finished breakfast, we were still here, working on our fiftieth cups of coffee.

There wasn’t a lot of conversation, though. Which, I mean, long periods without talking weren’t that unusual with us. I wasn’t the most talkative person.

The weird part was when Riley was the one being quiet. He’d been polite to our server, of course, and he hadn’t been curt with me or anything. He was just… someplace else.

I could guess where his mind was, and he confirmed it after he’d polluted his umpteenth cup of coffee.

He checked his phone and sighed. “Still feels like I should be going to Easter service this morning.”

Oh, that was today, wasn’t it? Damn.

“We can, um…” I fidgeted on the bench. “Do you want to go to one? Like, at another church?”

Staring sadly into his coffee, he shook his head. “No. I’m really not religious. It’s…” He sighed as he sat back. “Just weird to be in town and not going with the family.”

“I bet.” I had no idea what to say.

“God, this is so fucked up,” he murmured, almost more to himself than me. “I just cut off my parents. Maybe my brother, too.” He swallowed hard. “Probably permanently. I’m…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how to…”

“Process it?”

“I guess?” He made a frustrated gesture, then wrapped his hands around his coffee cup, as if searching for warmth. “I’ve worked with a few people who’ve gone no-contact with their families. But like, their families were really bad. One guy’s parents beat the shit out of him until the day he left for boot camp.” Riley gave a harsh, bitter laugh. “There is no one in the world less intimidated by a drill instructor than a kid who’s still got belt marks on his back from his dad.” His shoulders fell. “My parents…”

“They don’t have to beat the brakes off you to be shitty parents.”

Riley’s head snapped up, his eyes wide.

I half-shrugged. “Man, they fucked with your head so much, you had to bring a guy home and say ‘here’s my boyfriend’ just to try to get through to them that you’re really gay. And they still won’t accept you.”

The cracks in his expression made me wonder if I’d been too blunt.

I softened my tone a bit. “I worked with someone whose husband was an abusive asshole. Never laid a finger on her, but he was awful to her.” I turned my own coffee cup between my hands. “Just because it isn’t something you can put on a police report doesn’t mean it’s not abuse.”

Riley jumped like I’d kicked him, but then he sighed and nodded. “That’s true. It’s… I know it is.” He reached back and rubbed his neck. “I don’t know. Part of me thinks I made the right decision, but part of me—I mean, if it was the right thing to do, why the fuck do I feel like shit?”

“People feel like shit after breakups, even when they know it was for the best,” I offered.

“Yeah. True. I…” He stared into his coffee again and murmured, “I don’t fucking know.”

I watched him, completely at a loss for what to say. There were people in my life who I was so desperate to go no-contact with, I’d give up my left nut without a second thought if it meant we never crossed paths again.

But this was different. Riley had come to California wanting to hold on to and fix the relationship he had with his parents. Going no-contact had been a last resort, and it obviously wasn’t easy. From where I was standing, it was obvious he’d done the right thing, but in his shoes, maybe I’d be questioning it too.

I absently rubbed my heel against the bench. “So, a couple of years ago, there was a Marine in my platoon who finally realized he needed to get a divorce. Their marriage was miserable, and divorce was the best—honestly the only option at that point. Like, anyone who knew them could see it.”

Riley watched me through his lashes, probably wondering where the fuck I was going with this.

I shifted a little. “He filed the papers and she went back to the States, but he was a mess over it, you know? And he thought maybe that meant it was a mistake.” Thumbing the handle on my coffee cup, I went on, “Another Marine told him, ‘Just because cutting off the gangrenous limb is the best thing don’t mean it won’t hurt.’”

Riley’s eyebrows climbed.

“So, maybe that’s what’s going on here,” I said, hoping I wasn’t making things worse. “It doesn’t hurt because it’s the wrong thing. It hurts because cutting off a limb is going to hurt whether it’s gangrenous or not.”

His eyes lost focus, and he was quiet for a long moment. I chewed the inside of my cheek. Had that been the right thing to say? Or, like, in the same ballpark as the right thing to say?

After a moment, Riley released a long breath, and he finally picked up his coffee. “You’re probably right. I guess it’s just gonna take time.”

I tried my level best to hide my relief. “Probably, yeah. I don’t think anybody expects you to get over it overnight.”

That seemed to shake something loose in him, and he closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them again, he nodded. “Yeah. Thank God for that.” He sipped his coffee, then looked out the window. “I guess we should go figure out hotels and our rental car for the trip north.”

“I’m ready when you are.”

He met my gaze again, and there was a faint smile on his lips. “Let me finish this”—he raised his cup—“and I’ll be ready to roll.”

We spent the rest of that day figuring out reservations and rental car logistics, and we planned to hit the road tomorrow.

Of course, those arrangements and getting a new rental car didn’t require the entire day. We found ways to pass the time, though, especially as Riley managed to shake out the morning’s funk. I had no doubt it was still bothering him and would be for a while, but by late afternoon, he was closer to his normal self, especially after he’d gone for a run and taken a shower. By the time I came over to his room to watch a movie, he was definitely himself again. Or at least, the version of himself that liked to fool around with me; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d just made out with someone without getting each other off, but it turned out Riley seriously loved doing that. So did I, so I didn’t object.

I didn’t object when we did get each other off, either. Never did when Riley was involved. After a stupid buddy-cop comedy we’d seen a million times, followed by a couple of long, drawn-out blowjobs to cap off the evening, I’d felt pretty damn good. Though when it came time to call it a night, I’d worried things might get awkward.

They didn’t. He didn’t ask me to stay in his bed again, even though I could see the invitation in his eyes, and I went back to my room without any fuss.

We left Riley’s hometown at 0700 the next morning, which would get us to our hotel in Sacramento this afternoon. We could in theory make it all the way to Seattle by tomorrow night, but neither of us felt like making the whole drive in two days. Instead, we’d stay in Sacramento tonight, Grants Pass tomorrow, and Portland the next night. Grants Pass to Seattle was totally doable in a day, but what could I say? We weren’t expected in town until then anyway, and I didn’t mind dragging our feet a little.

The homestretch would be easy. We were guaranteed to hit some hellacious traffic on day three, especially on the 175-mile stretch through Portland, Olympia, Lewis-McChord, Tacoma, Seattle, and the Eastside, but we’d still be in my hometown of Redmond by dinnertime at the latest.

I’d texted my dad last night to let him know our plans, and that he and Mom wouldn’t need to come pick us up at Lewis-McChord like we’d originally planned.

Wouldn’t it be cheaper to take a military flight? he’d asked.

Yeah, but we’d have to stay in town a couple extra days, and we have to be at the terminal at 0300. (puking emoji)

Hahaha twelve years as a Marine and you still can’t get up early.

I can. I just don’t want to.

Of course you don’t. Drive safe, kid. See you soon.

Too soon, I thought, which made me feel insanely guilty. I loved my parents and I was looking forward to seeing them. I’d been pleading with them to come visit me ever since I’d been stationed in Japan.

I just… didn’t want to go home.

But I wasn’t going to miss my brother’s wedding. Not even when there was someone there I never wanted to see again. At least I’d have someone else with me whose presence I could wear like armor.

Except it occurred to me that the man sitting beside me now hadn’t said more than two words since we’d left the hotel almost seventy miles ago.

I glanced at him. His gaze was fixed on the passing scenery, his expression completely blank. I’d never been good at any of this shit—reading people, talking about things—but I was worried about him. Was he still thinking about the fact that he’d cut off his parents? Because he didn’t seem to be in a foul mood or anything. Just… up in his own head.

I wasn’t great at having uncomfortable conversations, but I was even less great at sitting through hundreds of miles in tense silence. I stole another glance at him, then cautiously asked, “Hey, you good?”

“Yeah. I’m…” He pressed his elbow beneath the window and scratched the back of his neck. “Just thinking.”

“Yeah?”

He shifted around as if he couldn’t quite get comfortable. “The other night—I wasn’t too pushy with you, was I?”

Oh, that was where his mind was? I hadn’t seen that coming.

“Too pushy?” I glanced at him, brow furrowed. “With what?”

“With, you know, getting more… physical, I guess? It was just kissing, but since it took us this long to do that, and then it happened in the heat of the moment, and I didn’t know if…”

“Nah, it wasn’t too much. I’d have said something.”

“Okay. Just… I mean, I don’t want to push for anything, you know? I thought it would be hot, but then afterward, I got to thinking, and…” He sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it.”

I chewed my lip. Truthfully, the fact that he was worried about it was a relief. I didn’t want him uncomfortable or upset, but if he was concerned about pushing me farther than I wanted to go, then that was a good sign that I could trust him not to push me that far. Not that I’d worried about that in a long time; I worried about it with everyone I ever touched, but I was more confident with him than I’d been with anyone else.

Confident enough that pushing some of my usual limits was apparently on the table.

“You’re good,” I told him. “I’ll tell you if something is too much.”

Riley seemed to relax a little. “Please do. I like doing all kinds of things, but only if the person I’m with also wants to, you know? And I know there’s a lot you don’t like, so…”

I slowly released a breath. I supposed for most people, it wasn’t a novelty to have someone be okay with their limits. For me and my mountains of boundaries, though…

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I whispered.

I could feel him watching me as I watched the road. I sensed the questions he wasn’t asking. Or maybe I was imagining it because I knew what questions I’d probably have in that moment.

Why is it such a minefield? What happened?

I had no idea if he’d actually ask those questions out loud, but I didn’t give him a chance to. Tapping my thumbs on the wheel, I said, “So, on that subject… of trying new things…”

Riley stiffened in the passenger seat, though he tried to play it cool by shifting around and twisting toward me. “Mmhmm?”

I swallowed, staring straight ahead at the freeway laid out in front of us. God, I was so bad at stuff like this. “There’s… Well, I mean, there’s a lot of stuff we don’t do.” I gripped the wheel tight enough it made my hands ache. “I… guess all this time, I haven’t thought about if you might be missing out on something you wanted.”

“Nobody’s ever going to do everything,” he said quietly. “Yeah, there’s stuff I’d love to do. But if you’re not into it, then we won’t. It’s that simple.”

I swallowed. “What kind of stuff?”

He studied me for a moment. “Look, I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything. If you’re not into something, you’re not into it.” He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

Heart pounding, I nodded. “But… what if I could be?”

The silence made my ears ring. I glanced at him, and he was watching me intently, his expression full of both curiosity and caution.

I fixed my attention on the road again. “I’m… open to more than what we already do.”

“Right, but how much more?” His voice was surprisingly gentle. “You’ve got some history. Something you don’t have to tell me about, but it involves sex. And I don’t want to add on to that, you know?”

I shifted in my seat, my hands aching furiously from the death grip I had on the wheel. I relaxed them, not that it helped much.

“You don’t have to tell me anything about what happened,” he repeated quickly. “I’m not asking for that. But as much as I know where your boundaries are, I don’t know where your landmines are. If I want something that’s off-limits to you because of your past—I don’t want to suggest something that’s going to be bad for you, you know?”

I tapped my thumbs on the wheel. “Can I say no to anything you suggest?”

“Absolutely,” he said without a second’s hesitation. “You can always say no. Even if it’s something you’ve said yes to before, or it’s something we’re right in the middle of. You can always say no.”

The muscles in my back, shoulders, and neck started to relax, which was when I realized how tense they’d become. “That’s all I need, then. As long as I can say no…” I half-shrugged, which tugged at some of those slowly loosening muscles.

Riley was quiet for long enough that I thought he might be hoping I’d drop the subject, or waiting for me to say more. Something.

But then he spoke. “Okay. Well.” He took a breath. “For one thing, I love fucking. Like, anal. Top, bottom—I don’t care. I just really love it.”

My throat was tight, which made it tough to swallow, but I managed. “Is that something you want us to do?”

He again fell quiet for a moment. “To put it bluntly, I have absolutely fantasized about us doing it. But it’s not a dealbreaker whether it’s because there’s trauma associated with it or because you just don’t like it. Even if it’s something I enjoy, I wouldn’t enjoy it if you didn’t. But if you want to, then hell yes, I do too.”

I didn’t know how to process that.

Riley was watching me. I didn’t take my eyes off the road to look, but I could see him in my peripheral vision and I could feel his scrutiny. After a mile or so, he cautiously asked, “Do you want to do more than we’ve done?”

I gripped the wheel tighter. “I… Yeah, I think….” I took a deep breath. “Yeah, I do.”

“Like, how much more?” He paused. “I mean, is there something specific you have in mind?”

The word “everything” was dangerously close to falling out of my mouth, which spooked me. Was I really getting that comfortable with him? Or was I getting careless?

I rubbed my thumb along the stitching on the inside of the wheel. “There’s a lot I haven’t done in a long time. And I’d kind of—I’d like to try.”

“Yeah?” There was curiosity in that question, but no pressure. Maybe I was reading too much into a single syllable, but that was how it registered.

“I’d… Um… I’d like to fuck.” Heat rose in my face. He was still watching me, though I didn’t look to see what his expression was. The scrutiny was enough without knowing if he was eyeing me like an idiot, staring at me like I’d lost my fucking mind, or smirking like he was about to say something about—

“You want to?” he finally asked, and was that… was that interest in his voice? Or was I imagining it?

Gripping the wheel tighter, I told him the truth: “Yeah. I do.”

Again, he was quiet. Again, he was watching me.

I fidgeted in the driver seat, watching the white lines whip by. “We don’t have to do it now. I mean, like not tonight or—we’ve got plenty of time.”

“I’m not in a hurry,” he said evenly.

“I’m not either.” I finally stole a glance at him, and the heat in his eyes almost made me swerve. Resolutely facing the road again, I said, “I, um… I’m not in a hurry, but… I won’t say no to doing more than we have tonight.”

Riley pushed out a ragged breath, and the seat squeaked as he shifted. Was he adjusting himself? I didn’t look. If I caught so much as a glimpse of any tenting in his pants, we were going to do something publicly indecent at a rest stop.

Which didn’t sound half bad in that moment.

“How, um…” He cleared his throat. “How long to our hotel?”

I licked my lips as I glanced at the GPS screen. “Still several hours.”

“Fucking hell ,” he groaned.

Fucking hell was right. When was the next rest stop?

“We’ll get there.” He sounded about as winded as I was. “But it won’t hurt my feelings if you ignore the speed limit.”

I laughed, and I glanced at him again.

Then I floored the gas.

I was so damn glad we hadn’t aimed for Grants Pass today. We could’ve made it, but the eight hours or so to Sacramento was long enough. Going all the way to Grants Pass would’ve meant five more hours until we checked into our hotel, which meant five more hours until—

“Jesus fuck,” I moaned, closing my eyes as Riley pinned me to the door and kissed up and down my neck. “I want you so bad.”

“Me too,” he murmured against my throat. “Not gonna lie—I was looking at those rest stops…”

I laughed a bit drunkenly. “You too, huh?”

“You better believe it.” He drew back and met my gaze, his eyes gleaming with lust like I’d never seen them before. “I don’t know how the hell you kept it between the lines all the way here.”

“It took some work.” I slid my hands up his back. “But now we’re here, so…”

“Uh-huh. We are.” He started to come in for a kiss, but hesitated, and his expression shifted to one of concern.

“What?” I asked.

“I…” Riley licked his lips. “I’m not gonna lie—I want to fuck until we can both feel it for a week.”

I raised my eyebrows as my heart sank. “But…”

He swallowed. “But…maybe it’s something we should work up to.”

I turned to him. “How do you figure?”

“I mean, we’ve been jacking each other off and giving each other head for ages, but I’d never kissed you before two nights ago. I’ve…” He half-shrugged. “I’ve never even seen you naked.”

Every muscle in my body tensed, and my breath stuttered.

“We don’t have to,” Riley said quickly. “But maybe that should be a step between where we are and doing more, you know?”

I gnawed my lower lip and nodded. “We, um… We can. Strip everything off, I mean.”

He studied me. “Is that what you want?”

“Yeah. I’ve, uh…” I laughed as some warmth rose in my face, and I avoided his gaze. “I don’t even know why we haven’t…” That was a fucking lie, but I wasn’t about to bring this to a screeching halt to fill him in on my messy history.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “But if it’s what you want now, then we can. I just, um….” He touched my chin and lifted it enough to make me look in his eyes. “Why don’t we start there? Keep fucking on the table for another night, but not push it right now?”

Shame and embarrassment coiled uncomfortably beneath my ribs. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and do everything I’d stupidly stopped us from doing.

Maybe he was right, though. It had taken me this long to let him in close enough to kiss me. What was another night or two?

“Okay. We, um…” I gulped. “We could grab a shower. Especially since we’ve been on the road all day.”

The way his face lit up gave me a thrill I couldn’t quite describe. As if I’d expected him to roll his eyes at the stupid suggestion, or that he’d just think it was a ridiculous baby step. Instead, he genuinely looked like the idea turned him on.

Taking my hand, he tugged me away from the door. “A shower sounds great.”

We only made it halfway across the room, though, before he stopped, uneasiness replacing arousal in his eyes.

“Uh…” He chewed his lip. “Listen, before we start stripping everything off…”

I held my breath, not sure where this was going.

Riley cleared his throat. “Look, I don’t want to make assumptions about your past, and I don’t want to pry in where it’s none of my business. But while we’re still dressed… I just want to know if there’s a reason it’s taken us this long to get here.” He paused, then quickly added, “Even if that reason is just that all you wanted was a handjob or a blowjob once in a while.” He shrugged as if he thought it really could be that simple. “Or you’re shy about getting naked with someone. I just don’t want to step on a bad memory. Or become a bad memory.”

I avoided his gaze for a moment. “I’ve… I mean, yeah, I’ve got some history. And I really don’t want to get into it.” I steeled myself, then looked in those gorgeous, concerned eyes. “But I’m good. I want to do this.”

Riley nodded. “Okay. Uh… One question, though.” He sounded uneasy. “No need to go into details. Just yes or no—have you ever had anal before?”

My stomach roiled. I hated going down this path with guys. I wanted us to go farther—I wanted us to fuck until the bed broke—but this was the part that usually scared people away. The layers of fear and shame and disgust that had nothing to do with them but didn’t just magically fly away.

Before I could speak, Riley touched my arm. “I’m serious—I’m not asking for details. But there’s nervous because you haven’t done something before, and there’s nervous because you have and it didn’t go well. I just want to know where the lines are.”

I nodded slowly. “I’ve… I’ve done it before. It’s been a long time.”

He swept his tongue across his lips. “Okay. Okay, that’s fine.” His raised eyebrows asked if there was anything else.

“It’s never gone bad, either. Not… Not anal. It’s…” I closed my eyes. There was no way to explain why I was so hung up on this or anything else sexual without showing cards I hated showing. I wished I could forget they existed at all, but they always made themselves known the minute I started getting physical with someone—especially as we started venturing beyond what we could do at almost an arm’s length.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” he said softly. “If you’ve got a history you don’t want to talk about, or you just didn’t like something—fine. All I want to know is where the lines are.”

I swallowed hard before I met his gaze again. “I’ve never had a bad experience with this specifically. I’m just… really, really nervous about it.”

“That’s okay. And we’re not going to tonight—I don’t want to rush into it.”

Fresh shame and embarrassment heated my skin, and I laughed almost soundlessly. “We’ve been fooling around for months . Almost a damn year . And all the way here today…”

“We have. But this is the first time we’ve even talked about going that far. And I don’t want to try it the same time we have our clothes off for the first time.”

I pursed my lips; I had to be bright red by now. I hated being handled with kid gloves in the bedroom. I hated that I needed it.

“Nolan. Look at me.”

I did, and he caressed my cheek. “There’s really no hurry. Especially if you’re nervous about something. I just don’t want to rush.” He paused, then grinned. “Besides—we’ve got this whole trip, and we live together. We’ve got plenty of time to try all kinds of things. Why do them all at once?”

That settled something in me. A little, anyway. “I… do want to. It doesn’t have to be right now, but… I want to.”

“We will. But I’d rather frustrate us both and make us both want it even more than move too fast and turn it into something one of us regrets.”

Something you’ll regret, he didn’t have to say out loud.

“We can take our time.” I laughed bitterly. “Guess we kind of have to, since I’m a fucking mess.”

I regretted that as soon as I said it—the questions in his eyes turned my stomach.

Don’t ask. Please don’t ask. Don’t make me tell you where I’ve been.

“Just promise me,” he whispered, “that if I run into one of your limits, or you realize you don’t want to do something after all—tell me. I won’t be mad. I promise.” He grimaced. “I’d never forgive myself if I found out after the fact that I trampled one of your boundaries.”

My throat tightened and I couldn’t quite explain why. “I appreciate that.”

He gently tugged me in closer. “So, just talk to me? And I’ll do the same?”

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Sounds good to me.”

His grin returned, and relief crashed through me. The uncomfortable conversation was over. Did that mean we were back to—

Oh, fuck, yeah. Riley’s mouth was against mine, and the way he kissed me as he tugged at my shirt said that we were a hundred percent back on track. Back to getting out of these clothes.

Nerves tried to elbow their way in, but the slide of Riley’s hand up my bare back scattered all my second thoughts. One touch of his hand on my naked skin, and I was all in.

We didn’t waste any time shedding our clothes as we inched into the bathroom, and Riley gasped when I pressed him up against the bathroom counter. So did I, but not from touching something cold.

Oh. God. Our hard dicks were trapped between us, his strong arms were around my neck, and our naked bodies were pressed together. Hot skin met hot skin, and his greedy kiss had my head spinning with hunger. I suddenly wanted his dick in me so bad I couldn’t see straight, but he was right. We didn’t have to do everything tonight.

He broke the kiss and loosened his embrace, panting as he whispered, “Step back a little?”

I did, not sure what he had in mind. I figured it out when he raked his eyes up and down my body; I didn’t feel as exposed or vulnerable as I thought I should. Instead, I was overcome with this feeling like he wanted to eat me alive. Like I wanted him to do exactly that.

I drank in the sight of him, too, and holy fuck, I’d been missing out. I’d seen him without a shirt on, but the shorts he wore when he ran didn’t do justice to his narrow hips. He had thighs for days, and though I’d seen his dick plenty of times, it was even more inviting with only that thin dark hair around it and not a stitch of clothing in sight.

I locked eyes with him again, and I found my own smoldering need staring right back at me.

He tipped his head toward the shower stall and raised his eyebrows as one corner of his mouth twitched up.

I grinned and nodded.

He kissed me once more, then leaned into the shower to get the water going. That gave me an eyeful of his perfect, toned ass. I couldn’t resist and molded myself to him, my dick sliding between his thighs as I leaned against that ass; I had a flicker of desire to fuck him. To throw everything in my past to the wind, lube up, slide into him, and pound him until we were both shaking too much to move.

That flash of desire was chased by a rush of cold, though, and I shook the thought away. Maybe we’d get there, maybe we wouldn’t, but it wouldn’t be tonight.

And it wouldn’t be me on top. Not any time soon.

I shuddered, but kissed the back of his neck and hoped he just thought I was shivering with need.

He leaned back against me, tilting his head so I could kiss more of his neck. “God, Nolan…” He rocked his hips a little, and the subtle friction of my cock between his thighs had me moaning against his skin. “Have you ever… Have you ever come like this?”

I slid my hands over his hips and nipped his shoulder. “No. Could be fun.”

Or it could be way too much like—

“Maybe the other way,” I said quickly. “You… between my thighs…”

Heat rushed into my face; I was sure he was going to hit the pause button again and ask questions. Instead, he breathlessly said, “Love that idea.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled, as much from relief as arousal.

“Shower first,” I murmured against his neck. “Then we can get dirty.”

“Fuck, yeah,” he growled, and we separated long enough to step into the shower. It was tight, which I’d expected; this wasn’t a cheap hotel, but it wasn’t exactly the Ritz either.

I could work with it. Standing close to Riley, kissing him under the hot spray while we explored each other with soapy hands—this was perfect.

As turned on as I was, the temptation to beg him to fuck me was strong. He was right, though. One thing at a time. For all the times I’d had his thick cock down my throat, this was the first time we’d ever touched naked; if we plowed ahead, there was too much opportunity to snag on one of the tripwires my past had left all over my psyche.

This was enough.

Christ, it was more than enough. Riley had turned out to be a mind-blowing kisser, and I hadn’t realized how much I’d been craving another man’s touch until now. Even the things we’d been doing since we’d moved in together didn’t scratch this itch—I needed his hands all over me. I needed his body against mine with nothing between us.

Why the fuck did I keep you at arm’s length for so long?

Oh, I knew exactly why, but I wasn’t going to think about that right now. I was just going to drown in making out with him and touching him in all these long overdue ways.

Riley came up for air, and he looked gloriously disheveled and turned on. “I think we should take this to the bed. Before my damn legs go out from under me.”

I grinned, sliding my hands down to grab two handfuls of his amazing ass. “Yeah? Getting a little off-balance?”

“Just a little.” He reached back and shut off the shower. “Let’s get back in bed so I can make you come.”

Now my legs weren’t doing such a hot job of holding me up, but I managed to get out of the shower without falling on my ass. We dried off in record time, and then we tumbled naked onto the still-made bed.

“Tell me how you want to come,” I panted between messy kisses. “Anything you want.”

He moaned, arching against me. “Let me… Let me come between your thighs. Then I’m going to blow you until you scream.”

I shivered hard. “Fuuuck…”

“Sound good?” He was half-teasing, half-begging. “Tell me.”

“Sounds fucking amazing. Do we need lube?”

He thought about it, then gave a sharp nod. “Yeah. Give me a sec.”

I let him up, and I watched him head for his suitcase, just stealing the chance to ogle his naked body. I was never going to be able to look at him the same again now that I’d seen him like this. Holy shit, this man was gorgeous. He wasn’t just fit enough to meet the Navy’s physical readiness standards—he was ripped and sculpted. The Okinawa sun had left him with a golden tan, and that beautiful tight ass was seriously sexy.

And that thick erection jutting out in front of him made my mouth water. I was tempted to offer to blow him—maybe sixty-nine?—but I was intrigued by what he was suggesting.

So, I kept my thoughts to myself. As he got back on the bed and lubed himself up, I turned on my side, and a moment later, he’d molded himself to me. That was hot as hell on its own, especially when he started kissing my neck and nibbling my ear.

Then he pushed his slick cock between my thighs.

Without really thinking about it, I pressed them together, and I was rewarded with a harsh hiss and his fingers tightening on my hip.

“Like that?” I asked.

“Fuck yeah,” he growled, and he started moving. This wasn’t the same as getting fucked, but it was still hotter than it had any right to be. I loved the way his whole body felt as he thrust against me—how hot and solid he was—and the sharp huffs of breath on my neck and shoulder were excruciatingly sexy.

I needed some friction myself, so I closed my fingers around my dick. I gave myself a couple of pulls, but that wasn’t enough, so I started pumping harder, keeping time with him, and it took a moment to realize the strangled cry I heard was mine.

“Do you want to come like that?” he gritted out, still fucking against me for all he was worth. “Or do you want to come down my throat?”

Just thinking about either option made me want to explode. “I don’t… I don’t care. Just want to come.”

He whimpered, then bit my shoulder, and my toes curled as my back arched off his chest. I hadn’t come, but oh God, I was close now.

“Keep going,” I pleaded. “Oh yeah, that’s so hot.”

“Fuck, you have no idea.” He sounded on the verge of falling apart. “This feels so… it’s so good. I…” He shivered hard, his breath hitching. “ God , I want to be in your ass.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, the thought of his thick, hard dick stretching my hole and thrusting the way it was now between my thighs—holy hell, yes.

“The second you’re ready,” he murmured, digging his fingers painfully hard into my hip, “say the word and I will be… I will…” He gasped, then cried out, and he thrust so hard he forced me an inch or two across the mattress as he shuddered violently. “Fuck!” His nails bit into my hip, and he kept thrusting, using his own cum for lube until he huffed out another harsh breath, then stilled. His forehead touched my shoulder as he loosened his grasp on my hip. “Oh my God…”

I was almost as out of breath as he was. My hand had stopped, but the need for friction got it moving again, and I whimpered softly as I started stroking myself.

“Does that turn you on?” he whispered in my ear. “Thinking about me fucking you?”

“Uh-huh.” I had to shut my eyes again as I teetered between drawing this out and giving myself the release I desperately needed. “I want it. Bad.”

“Me too.” He kissed behind my ear. “And I will. Not tonight, but when—Jesus fuck, Nolan, I am going to ride you until we both scream.”

I barely recognized the helpless sound that escaped my lips. “Please?”

“Mmm, you better believe it.” He kissed my neck again. Then he drew back a little, and I gasped at the sudden coolness everywhere he’d been touching me. Before I could protest, he tugged my shoulder. “On your back.”

I did as I was told. For a panicked flash, I thought he’d climb on top of me, even though he never had.

Instead, he knocked my hand out of the way and took my dick in his mouth.

Instantly, that panic disintegrated, replaced by pure need. I pushed myself up on my elbow and stared down at him. He’d always been so damn good at giving head, and this time, he went down on me like it was going to make him come. He moaned as he took me deep in his throat, and I could barely find my breath.

And the view? Holy shit. He’d always been hot, kneeling between my legs and going to town on me. Naked and flushed, his short hair as tousled as it could be—there was nothing sexier. Nothing .

Except maybe when he flicked his eyes up to meet mine, my cock still stretching his lips as he let it slowly slide out.

“Fuck, Riley,” I breathed. “That is so hot.”

He hummed and took me deep again.

I struggled to find any air, never mind words, and finally managed, “Make me come? Please?”

As soon as I said it, he changed his tempo and tightened his grip. Just like that, there was nothing I could do except surrender to the utter bliss that crashed over me with every stroke of his hand or mouth. I tried to keep watching him, but I was too overwhelmed to keep my eyes open, and I fell back on the pillow. I thrust up into his mouth the way I knew he loved, and he moaned again as if he really might come just from sucking me off.

“Keep going,” I begged. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m almost… You want me to come in your mouth?”

I knew he did, but I loved the way he whimpered when he wanted to egg me on.

“Fuck. Keep…” I bit my lip and arched, and I had just enough clarity to shout, “Oh, fuck, I’m coming!” a second before I was doing exactly that.

Riley kept me going, too, same as he always did, stroking and licking until there wasn’t a drop left.

Then he eased up. I sank back onto the mattress, and he pulled me in close. My heart pounded. I couldn’t catch my breath.

And, still trembling in his arms, I couldn’t remember ever feeling this damned good.