Page 12

Story: Leave

Chapter 12

Nolan

Not a moment too soon, Riley pulled into the parking lot of our next hotel. While he stayed in the car in front of the office, I went inside to get our room keys. Somehow, I went through all the motions without making an ass of myself. Maybe that was how I kept from getting an untimely hard-on, too; I was struggling so much to concentrate on simple tasks like “sign here” and “enter your car’s make and model here” that the embarrassment kept my dick calm.

Keycards in hand, I got back in the car, and Riley parked it closer to the entrance we’d be using. He was about to turn off the engine but hesitated.

“Wait, before we go in…” Riley gestured across the street. “Do we need condoms?”

I gulped, glancing at the drug store he was indicating. “Um. Do we?” Excitement and nerves both fluttered in my stomach.

Are we really going to do this?

Riley fidgeted in the driver seat. “I mean, you’re the only one I’ve been with since before I moved in with you. And I always have medical run a full STI panel on my annual physical, which was like a month ago. So…” He half-shrugged. “I’ll wear a condom if you want me to, or we can skip it. Your call.”

Oh. Hell. He didn’t mean “do we need condoms so we can fuck?” He meant “yeah, we’re gonna fuck—are we using condoms or not?”

And… why was that turning me on more than it was making me nervous?

I swallowed. “I get the same panel every time. Last one was…” I thought about it. “December, I think. Might’ve been the end of November.” I didn’t want to spell out that he was the only man I’d touched in the better part of five years, so I left that part out. The rest was true, though.

“Okay, so we can go either way.” His forehead creased. “My tests are all clear, but it won’t hurt my feelings if you’d rather use condoms.” He paused. “Some people like them for easy cleanup anyway.”

“Do you prefer them?”

“I’ve never had sex without them,” he said quietly. “Not anal, I mean.”

“Oh. You haven’t?”

He shook his head. “No. This would, um…” He drummed his thumbs on the wheel. “This would be a first for me.”

“But you’d… You’d want to?” I’d never even considered going raw with someone, but now that we were having this conversation… “You’d be willing to?”

He seemed to think about it for a moment, then looked right in my eyes and nodded. “Yeah. I would.”

I gulped. “Guess we don’t need to run to CVS, then.”

His eyebrows flicked up. “Yeah?”

I grinned.

A second later, so did he.

Without another word, we got out of the car and collected our things. We each wanted to grab showers after spending the whole day on the road, so even though I wanted to haul him down into bed right the hell now, I stepped into my room first. After my shower, I put on a pair of sweats and went to his room, where he hadn’t even bothered to put on that much. As soon as his door was closed behind us…

Oh, hell yeah.

Riley’s fingers cradled the back of my head as he explored my mouth, and I kind of wished my hair wasn’t so damn short. I wanted his fingers threading into it and holding on. Pulling, even.

This would have to do, though, and I couldn’t bitch about his hands on my skin, especially not when his tongue was in my mouth and he was rubbing that hard-on against mine. His hot skin touching mine made me all too aware of the sweats keeping me from the rest of him, so I broke away just long enough to take them off.

Much better. Especially when he pulled me across the room and onto the mattress on top of him, and now we were making out breathlessly while our naked, hard cocks rubbed together. It wasn’t just his erection that drove me wild—I fucking loved feeling him. All of him. His arms around me. His chest brushing mine. His hips between my thighs or—when we shifted positions—his thighs against my hips. Being dressed with someone meant a layer of protection and separation that I usually needed, but with Riley, I didn’t want any separation. I didn’t want to be protected from him.

Is that why I want him to fuck me bareback?

Hell. Maybe? I’d never wanted that with anyone—not even the few men who’d topped me—but I ached for it with Riley.

I didn’t know what that meant, and I was too turned on to look it in the eye right now. I just wanted him with nothing between us except heat, sweat, and lube.

I pushed myself up on my arms and gazed down into those smoldering dark eyes. A high-and-tight haircut wasn’t easy to muss up, but it was just slightly disheveled, and it made him look even hotter and needier.

I licked my lips. “Still game to fuck?”

He bit his lower lip and moaned, arching just right to rut against my hip. “So much. As long as… As long as it’s what you want.”

“Yeah,” I breathed. “It is.”

His eyes asked me if I was sure. Hopefully my kiss conveyed that, oh God, yes, I was sure.

Apparently it did, because when he broke away this time, he was so out of breath, he was shaking. “Lube’s on the nightstand.”

So it was.

He sat up, and as he poured some lube on his hand, he said, “I want you so bad I can’t think straight, but we’re not going to rush this part, okay?” He met my gaze. “I want to make sure you’re completely ready for me.”

I nodded, grateful for that because while I wanted his dick and I wanted it now, I was nervous.

Turned out when Riley said he wasn’t going to rush this part, he meant it. He molded himself to me on our sides, and he gently teased me open. Then he fingered me for so long, slowly and even sensually, I wondered a few times if he’d forgotten we were working up to something else. I wondered if we were still working up to it, or if he was just going to make me fall apart like this. Of the very few men who’d fucked me in the past, none had ever taken their time quite like he did. Enough that I could take them comfortably, sure, but never like this was supposed to turn me on and get me right to the edge. I found myself rocking back into him, chasing his fingers and seeking more of that addictive penetration.

And all the while, he kissed along my neck and murmured in my ear, whispering “that good, baby?” and “you think you can handle my dick?”

The answer to both was a resounding yes, but he kept right on teasing me, and I could hear the grin in his voice whenever he made me say I could handle his dick. It was frustrating—I wanted it now , goddammit!—but it was also hotter than it had any right to be. I was on the verge of losing my damn mind, begging him to both fuck me already and please, please don’t stop what you’re doing .

After a stretch of time that rivaled my last deployment, he withdrew his fingers and purred, “Let me put on some lube.”

I just moaned because speech wasn’t happening anymore.

He tapped my hip. “Can you get on your hands and knees?”

That should’ve been an easy yes, but my limbs had liquefied and my head was still spinning. I managed, though, if with some gentle guidance from him.

Then he knelt behind me, and both fear and arousal zipped through me.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

He pressed against me, but didn’t push in. He just teased a little, as if giving me a chance to get used to his presence. I must’ve tensed up, and he must’ve sensed it, because he made gentle circles with the head until I started to relax again.

“You okay?” he asked.

I nodded. “Y-yeah.”

“Ready for more?”

“Uh-huh.”

In the same instant he started to press in, he moaned softly, and my head spun faster. Fear and arousal again, but I kept breathing and kept myself relaxed, and—

Oh, God. He was pushing in. Slowly. Carefully. But I was taking him, little by little, and—

“Fuck!” Riley’s whole body jerked, though he didn’t force himself in. Then he groaned, but it sounded like frustration more than anything. “For fuck’s sake…”

Alarm straightened my spine. Panic and preemptive embarrassment turned my blood to ice water. “What? What’s—”

He laughed and pulled out. “Well, damn. I hope you didn’t blink, ‘cause you would’ve missed it.”

Blink? Missed—what?

But then I caught up. I twisted around to meet his gaze. “You came?”

His face was red. “Yeah. Jesus. I have never come that fast in my life.”

I almost laughed with relief, but I caught myself. I didn’t want him to think I was making fun of him.

He eased down onto the bed beside me, and when he met my gaze, his cheeks were still bright. “I promise, I’m not a minuteman. Not usually.”

I did chuckle this time. “I mean, I’ve blown you for so long I lost feeling in my tongue—I know how long you can last.”

He laughed for real. “Okay, that’s fair. I’m just…” He covered his eyes with one hand and snorted. “This is, um… not my proudest moment in the bedroom.”

I put a hand on his waist. “It’s okay. It really is.”

“Easy for you to say,” he muttered. Then he dropped his hand and sighed.

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s get cleaned up. We can try again in a little while.”

He met my eyes, forehead creased. “I can still get you off. We’re not—”

“I can wait.”

He studied me, but then nodded. “Okay. Let’s just hope it won’t be the lightning round this time.”

After we’d cleaned up, we settled back in bed. Riley still seemed bothered by the whole thing.

“I know it’s a cliché,” he said. “But I swear , this has never happened before.”

“So should I take it as a compliment?” I asked. “My ass turned you on so much, you—”

Riley burst out laughing, and so did I, and that finally seemed to snap some of the tension. He relaxed a little, and… I did, too. This was kind of weird and surreal—laughing in bed was a new experience to say the least—but I liked it.

“For the record,” he said, still smiling, “yes, your ass turned me on that much.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mmhmm. You’re fucking hot, Nolan.” He paused. “And it didn’t help that I haven’t topped anyone in ages, or that I’ve never done it without a rubber.” His cheeks reddened again. “Guess I wasn’t expecting it to be so…” He shivered.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.” He lifted his chin and kissed me softly. When he drew back, some concern had slipped into his expression. “I know we didn’t get far, but… did you enjoy it? I mean, I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” He grimaced. “Especially when I came—I was afraid I’d—”

“No, it was fine,” I said. “It, um… It felt really good, actually.”

“For as long as it lasted?” From the hint of a smirk on his lips, he meant it as a joke.

I chuckled and shrugged. “Hey, you said it, not me.”

He laughed, and so did I, and I didn’t think the novelty of laughing in bed would ever get old. There was nothing mean-spirited about it. He was making self-deprecating jokes, and I was following his lead, and it was actually fun. It was relaxing.

Jesus. Up until this trip, we’d never been naked in bed together. We hadn’t even kissed. Now we were naked, cuddling, making out… and laughing about our botched first attempt at anal.

I had never been in bed with anyone, not even Riley, without feeling at least a little bit on edge. No matter how much I trusted someone, my guard was still up. If I relaxed enough, they could take advantage. I’d vowed never to let that happen again.

But lying here with Riley, especially as our chuckling devolved into lazy kissing, I realized I wasn’t nearly as on edge with him. And now that I thought about it, that feeling had been fading for a while. No wonder it had been a no-brainer to take things farther with him. I’d been with hot men before, but no one had ever been this…

Safe.

That was it.

That was why I could be more reckless with him than anyone else—because he was safe .

I held him closer to me and kissed him harder, and his soft moan made my spine tingle. How had we only graduated so recently to kissing and being naked together? It felt like we’d been doing this all along.

We should’ve been doing this all along.

No. No, that was definitely not true. It probably frustrated the hell out of Riley that it had taken us this long to get this far, but that was better than going too far too fast. I just hoped what he was getting now was worth the wait.

“Jesus Christ,” I murmured, and he dipped his head to kiss my neck. I tilted my head back to expose more of my throat, and he explored every inch he could reach with his lips.

Rubbing his hip against my hard dick, he purred, “I meant what I said—I can get you off now, or wait until I recharge a little so I can fuck you again.” He paused to kiss beneath my jaw. “Or both.”

My toes curled. I was so damn turned on, I wanted him to make me come, but I also wanted him to top me again. Depending on how long it took him to recover, I might still be hypersensitive when he was ready to go again, and that could get… uncomfortable.

“I can wait.” I teased his nipple with my thumbnail, grinning when that made him gasp and shiver. “Don’t want to be too sensitive the second time around.”

He grinned against my throat, then came up to find my mouth, and from the way he kissed me, he wasn’t at all opposed to that idea.

What started out as languid kissing steadily intensified. His hands were all over me, and I reveled in how much I loved his touch. In how he could trace his fingers over anywhere on my naked body, and my senses lit up with arousal and hunger, not fight or flight. I loved how I could enjoy the little sounds he made—a soft whimper, a low growl—without reading each one for potential reasons to pull away.

More than I ever had, I could completely lose myself in someone, and I swear that turned me on more than anything else.

Let this man fuck me? Oh, hell yes.

I didn’t even care that he’d come too soon the first time. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I was glad he had. Not because it embarrassed him—I felt bad about that part—but because it gave me time to regroup and ask myself if I really did want to keep going. He hadn’t made it in very far, but it had been far enough to trip the “oh, wow, we’re really doing this” feeling that could’ve tipped into need for more or a panicked urge to hit the brakes.

Now we were in no hurry at all and there was absolutely no pressure coming from him—not that he’d pressured me, but I didn’t love the idea of getting a guy that turned on, letting him inside, and then telling him to back off. That hadn’t gone over well in the past, and even if he didn’t get mad, he wouldn’t be thrilled. It was embarrassing for me, irritating for him, and not a good time all around.

But as Riley and I made out and touched all over, that pressure was off. He wasn’t even hard yet.

And oh, hell, the more I touched and tasted him, the more I wanted his dick. He’d taken it slow and made sure I was ready for him. He was the right size for me to take him comfortably. He was gentle, considerate, and holy fuck, I wanted this man balls deep in me yesterday .

Especially when he put me on my back and went down on me. Jesus, the things he did with his mouth. I didn’t think my balls had ever gotten as much attention as Riley gave them every time he blew me, and tonight was no exception. He licked all the way up and down my shaft, and he spent ages teasing the head before sliding back down to work his tongue over my balls again.

“Oh my God,” I moaned, dragging my fingers through his hair. “Jesus, Riley…”

He hummed against my skin, and I had no idea how I didn’t levitate off the bed. Then he ran his tongue up the underside of my dick one more time before crawling up on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him as his hips settled between my thighs, and I moaned into his kiss as his fully hard dick came to rest beside mine.

He touched his forehead to mine and panted, “I can blow you until you come.” He licked his lips. “Or we can…” He rubbed his hard-on against me emphatically.

I whimpered. “Or we can fuck?”

“Uh-huh. Do you want to give it another try?” He grinned. “I’m, uh, I’m pretty sure I’ll last a little longer this time.”

I arched under him just right to rut my own cock against his body. “Fuck me.”

The growl that emerged from his throat gave me goose bumps, and then we were off and kissing again. Harder now. Hungrier. Like we were both so turned on we couldn’t see straight; I knew I was.

“Let me get the lube,” he said finally. “I can’t wait.”

I didn’t object.

He had me lie on my stomach, and he climbed on top. One thing did happen faster this time—I didn’t need nearly as much prep as I had earlier. He still fingered me a little, probably just to be sure, but before I knew it…

Oh God.

Oh my fucking God.

Riley was inside me. All the way in. Moving easily and fluidly, lighting up nerve endings with every stroke he took until I was lucky I could remember how to breathe.

I pressed my forehead into the mattress and closed my eyes, completely losing myself in everything he did and I felt.

He slowed to a stop and tugged at my hip. “Come up.”

I did, and when I was on my hands and knees, he started moving again, sliding his hands up my sides as he rocked in and out. I kept expecting him to pick up speed. That had to be why we’d changed positions, right? So he’d have more leverage?

Slow and smooth, though. Slow and smooth. And I liked it, but I found myself rocking back against him, trying to wordlessly encourage him to give me more.

“Is this good?” he asked breathlessly. “Do you like it like this?”

Yes and yes, but also… God…

Nerves made me hesitate, but damn it, we’d made it this far. Riley wouldn’t hurt me. If I didn’t like something, he’d stop.

Just that knowledge—that profound and unwavering trust that he’d stop the instant he sensed any resistance—spurred me on, and despite my nerves, I said, “Can we—faster?”

Riley’s breath stuttered. “Yeah? You want it faster?”

“Uh-huh. Please.”

“Just faster?” he asked. “Or harder?”

The answer tumbled off my lips without a second thought: “Both.”

His low, throaty groan had me squeezing my eyes shut and trying not to come. “Hand… Hand me the lube?”

Wait, he wanted me to do something? Did he not understand how much I was struggling just to think? But a couple of brain cells did what they needed to do, and I grabbed the bottle and handed it over my shoulder.

Riley pulled out, but only for a few seconds. When he slid back in, his cock was even slicker, and then he was thrusting in fast and hard. “This good?” He sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth.

“So good,” I whined. “Oh my God…”

He swore, digging his fingers into my hips, and he kept up that perfect rhythm, sending me higher every time he slammed himself home. I was glad in that moment that he didn’t have a huge dick—I wouldn’t have been able to take him this hard or for this long. Lucky for me, his cock was as average as mine, and I took everything he gave me—every inch, every stroke—and got more and more lost in absolute bliss.

“That’s so good,” I murmured. “Fucking hell …”

He groaned softly, his rhythm faltering for a thrust or two before he recovered. Then he slowed down again. He sounded out of breath as he asked, “You want to ride me for a bit?”

I swept my tongue across my lips. “Hell yeah.”

We changed positions, and as I eased down onto him… oh, wow, this was a view I could get used to. Riley, laid out on the mattress, sweat plastering dark hair to his chest as he watched me taking him. He had his hands on my thighs, his lips apart, and his eyes were absolutely on fire.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispered. “Oh, fuck, that’s…” He squeezed his eyes shut as he pressed back into the pillow. “Holy fuck, Nolan.” He sounded on the verge of tears. “You feel so damn good.”

I closed my eyes and let my head fall forward, mumbling something that I hoped translated to, “So do you.” Because he did. Inside me, under me, naked with me—everything about this was everything I’d craved with men but rarely actually did. And even when I had done it with other men, I’d always been guarded and uneasy. There’d always been that thread of worry in the back of my mind.

That thread had snapped today, and there was nothing but us and this. I rode Riley’s dick, and he begged me not to stop, and it didn’t matter if I went fast or slow, he kept telling me how much he loved it.

“Do you think you can come like this?” he asked.

I shivered. “I… yeah. Yeah, I can…” I lost my stride for a moment, but recovered. “I can come this way.”

The response to that was a throaty growl, and then his fingers were around my dick. I’d gone a little soft when he’d first slid in, but I was at full attention now, and Riley took full advantage, pumping me as I rode him.

“Come, baby,” he pleaded, working my dick furiously. “I want to feel you come while I’m in you.”

Moaning, I dropped onto my hands and picked up as much speed as I could, chasing my orgasm as much for my release as to please him.

He egged me on with curses and groans, pumping me hard as I tried like hell to match his rhythm, and then—

“Oh fuck!” I cried, my whole body jerking with the force of my orgasm as cum turned his strokes slick and hot.

Riley made a choked sound and shuddered, and he drove up into me so hard, I very nearly lost my balance. Somehow, I stayed upright, and Riley swore as his hips jerked against mine and he tried to get just a little bit deeper.

I slumped over him, trembling and out of breath.

He was shaking too as he wrapped his arms around me and drew me the rest of the way down. His hand was unsteady as he stroked my back, and we were both breathing too hard to speak.

I closed my eyes.

And it was no exaggeration to say I felt better than I ever had in my life.