Page 44 of Isolation

I am not the only woman in the world with a past, and I can’t let myself be crippled by it.

No pun intended despite my semi-crippled leg.

My recent excesses in nightmares might be troubling, but it will not be a deterrent towards my new goals because I have decided to change my life.

Just like that.

I spent the last few days being productive. I have even written down what I plan to accomplish and my course of action.

1)I have been calling and texting Reid non-stop. I was devastated the last time we were separated, but I can’t afford the same luxury. Tessa needs me. My parents are broke. Mia needs me. This is not the time to lose my shit. I can’t let them down by lettinghiminto my every thought. I have to move forward.

2)I am taking Alexa up on her offer for a partnership. Alexa’s capital will be enough to start making and selling custom-made clothing. In exchange, she will get a percentage of the royalty for each dress I sell. She has connections to old money, so I will basically be making custom clothing for a plethora of her rich friends.

3)I have to compartmentalize away everything that has happened with Milo thus far to focus on a civil friendship.

“Hey, Rave. What are you working on?”

My eyes flip up to meet a pair of emerald orbs. Milo walks into the room and struts over to my bed. I am sitting cross-legged on the bed, drawing on my sketchbook.

“Hey. Nothing serious. Just a piece I have been drawing.”

Milo nonchalantly plops down on the bed and grabs one of my pillows to hug it. Everyone comments on how the years of traveling have made Milo detached. But lately, I have noticed his mellow and cheerful attitude, which is extremely refreshing on him.

“Actually,” I turn to him, “I meant to ask you. Can I use the study to make the dresses I sell? I noticed that my old mannequin, sewing machines, and supplies are still stored there.”

“Rave,” Milo tilts his head in surprise, “this is your home. You don’t have to ask me.”

He is right. Why did I ever forget that? Thisismy home. It's the only home I have ever known.

Milo peeks into my drawing book to point at my sketch. “That’s really cool. What is it?”

I look down at the dress I am drawing. “I don’t wanna bore you.”

“I am not bored. I asked because I find your work interesting. I’d like to invest in it someday if you’d accept my money.”

This has been an argument for days. Milo wants me to accept his money, even though I have already accepted an offer from Alexa. But I don’t want to argue. I am exhausted from yet another sleepless night.

“I have always wanted to make a reversible dress. I just don’t know how to go about it. Each side of the dress has to be comfortable enough to feel good on the skin, but it also has to be glamorous enough to wear on the outside.”

Milo chuckles. “So, sort of like you?”

“What do you mean?” I engage in the discussion.

“What do you mean bywhat do I mean?You are glamorous and comfortable. You wear red bottom heels andTheressa Beckett Specials. Then you come home and strip down to three-dollar shorts and two-dollar tank tops,” Milo jests as he pulls at the strap of my tank top.

“My tank top cost five dollars, thank you very much,” I deadpan.

Milo laughs again, a deep but light-hearted laugh this time. My own lips curve up at his laugh.

I haven’t heard him laugh that genuinely in years. It’s almost nostalgic, flooding my mind with memories of my childhood.

Milo actively deprives the world of his laughter because he has too much sand in his vagina. With him, it’s usually so much brooding and impatience.

But not today. Today he is laughing and he looks so damn sexy while doing so.

Interesting turn of thoughts...

Where did that come from? I haven't had a thought like that in years.