Page 147 of Isolation

CHAPTER 4

December 2nd, 2015

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Milo

I push the door open to Raven’s room and march inside. Raven visibly rolls her eyes at me, unimpressed by my presence.

It’s fucking irritating. She used to do everything in her power for my attention. Now all she fucking does is roll her damn eyes, and looks at me with contempt.

But she is not getting out of this conversation. Shewilltalk to me, one way or the other.

“We have to talk,” I announce.

“We don't!” Raven predictably refuses to have an adult conversation.

Her sarcastic attitude is on my last nerve. I clench and unclench my jaw.

I hate how she is looking at me. I want her to look at me like she used to. I want to be her whole damn world again.

Why does she refuse to look at me that way?

The stern look I use to discipline her is only causing the fleeting look of fear that washes over her face. I look at Raven for a long while, and try to cool down.

“I hate hurting you,” I finally mutter under my breath.

“Well, thank you for that. Now please leave.”

I wince at her tone. This is notmyRaven. She always tries to understand the other perspective. She always tries to understandme.Why did she stop trying?

“Rave, I don't want to keep pushing you. But you refuse to talk about us. I am losing it here.”

“Milo, go find someone else to fuck. All the girls who came over last weekend were dying to sleep with you. Just choose one and leave me alone. They won't mind your horny episodes. And your bipolar mood swings.”

I flinch again. Raven hit another nerve. Her words are physically painful to hear.

She knows about Tessa’s issues and for her to peg me with mental disorders… it’s a tough pill to swallow.

My behavior is so abhorrent that I have turned the most compassionate girl against me. Am I breaking her that much? I truly must be mentally incapacitated.

I close my eyes and try once more.

“Rave, you have every reason to hate me. I don't know what I can say to make it better. I can't. I have no excuse for my behavior. The only thing I can tell you is, I can't live without you. I love you. I love you so fucking much. I don't know how to make it stop. I feel like the only way it would, is if I rip my fucking heart out.”

“In that case, you are doing the most heinous things in the name of love. If you loved me so damn much, how can you do what you did?” Raven yells.

I quietly study her distraught face. It’s making my own heart thud louder.

I love her so damn much that I feel like her fucking slave. I am chained to her with invisible shackles yet I am the predator and she is the victim.

If she truly doesn’t love me then am not safe for her. Even I know that.

“You are right," I admit quietly. "You should tell everyone what I did. I deserve whatever punishment I get.” It’s true. If she doesn’t believe me, then she should lock me away. That’s what I deserve.

Raven looks distrubed at just the suggestion. “I can't do that.”

Why? Because she loves me. Of course she does, but Raven won’t fucking admit it. This chick has turned me inside out.