Page 109 of Isolation

He did, but he also forced me to assume the same risk.

Actually, Milo is the last person I should be speaking to right now. He forced a choice down my throat that ended the lifelong bond I have had since my birth.

Milo will never understand how this feels. Unless you were born with another person, you will never know.

It’s like having a twin. Life will always feel half without your twin. Milo cost me the person who is literally a part of me.

I want to yell at Milo and hurl insults at him. But even in my stubborn stupor, I know that it’s not his fault... not unless he is behind us getting discovered.

Which is whyI need to hear him deny it at least once.I am beating a dead horse, but I can’t help myself after this new development with Reid.

I can get over the humiliation of getting caught naked in front of my religious father.

I can get over the concussion, the physical pain, and the frustrating moments when my body refused to cooperate after falling down the stairs.

I can even get past Milo’s decision at that moment to only acknowledge consent based on a physical reaction, rather than my verbal one.

However, if Milo purposefully shoved our naked bodies in Reid’s face, knowing how Reid felt about me, then that might be the cruelest thing he has ever done, and to his own sibling no less. If he had a hand over hurting his brother to this extent, then he is not the man I want.

It will destroy the trust we have built so far.

It will tear me apartif it's true.

“What do you mean you assumed that risk? Do you mean you assumed that risk by exposing us to our families?” I ask in a low voice.

“How many times are you going to ask me the same damn question?” Milo asks coolly. He looks irritated and on edge as well.

My anger comes out to match his. “And yet you are still to provide me with a yes or no answer. I have to overlook a lot of your shit, Milo. I told you what I need from you. If I can’t trust you then we are done for good. So, I am going to ask you one more time and I want a straightforward answer. Did you or did you not ask our parents and Reid to come to your room that day so we can get caught together?”

Milo looks at me for a long while. He finally responds. “No. I did not ask our parents to come to my room that day so we can be caught together. Nor did I ask Reid.”

I don’t believe him.

I don’t know why, but I don’t fucking believe him. Milo has always been honest with me, so why the fuck don’t I believe him?

Some of the threats Milo has handed out, including wanting to murder Reid, had my stomach twisted up in knots.

However, at the end of the day I always believed that Milo was speaking emotionally. Milo loves Reid almost as much as Reid respects Milo.

Which is why it’s such a tough pill to swallow that no matter how hard I am trying right now, I don’t believe any of the words coming out of his mouth.

All I want to do is fall on Milo's chest.

I wantmyMilo to console me over losing my best friend. But despite our recent dynamic, I have been reminded of our truth.

I don’t trust him and I probably never will. I don’t because I know that I will never have the Milo I want, without the threat of the other man who lurks behind his shadow.

At least there is something else that will help me forget this truth of ours.

Other than to mourn Reid, I came here to find Mia’s weed. Reid and I used to hide our weed under a floorboard in the living room. Mia does the same.

I was going to search for her weed, but I had an urge to sit in the cold first. I stand up and move towards the sliding doors.

“Rave, what are you doing?” Milo follows me.

I jiggle the key into the lock, unlock the door, and slide it open.

“Raven,” Milo grabs my arm. “You can’t go in there. Have you lost your fucking mind?”