Page 4 of Isolation

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CHAPTER 1

March 13th, 2020

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Milo

I look down at the two texts from Reid, but can only focus on the first. A text that had me canceling my meetings and pushing everything out of the way until I found myself standing outside of this familiar house. I cringe at the words as I read them for the hundredth time.

Reid: Hey, bro, heads up. Raven is back in NYC & moving back to the house. And… I’m going to ask her to be my girlfriend. Long story, but I think she is going to say “yes.”

I have already come up with ten ways to scoop Reid’s leering eyes out of their very sockets for even looking at Raven that way. Mia, that little shit, knows everything. She told me a while ago how Reid feels about Raven. He is lucky that I haven’t seen him since that revelation.

It finally made sense why Reid looked as shitty as I felt after Raven left. Reid and Raven have an unhealthy attachment. It’s a type of codependency that none of us conventional human beings will have the privilege of knowing. They were born an hour apart, to parents who were best friends. Tethered souls. One is never alright if the other is not okay. Or some shit like that.

There was a dark cloud hanging over Reid. I only saw Raven once after she left; the same darkness circulated her. They both walked around like corpses while separated. Alive, but only in terms of biology, how science would define you as a living being. Dead in every other way.

Come to find out; Mia had told Raven about Reid’s feelings around the time Raven ended things with me. Raven obviously couldn’t handle hurtinghisfeelings, but she could handle hurting mine. I always thought Reid was like a brother to her, but now… I don’t know.

Her coming back means that I have kept my word even though she sure as hell didn’t.

Is she really consideringhisproposition?

The possible answer annihilated my remaining senses. I thought I couldn’t be a bigger monster. I thought wrong.

The same heart that only beats for one person was ripped out again. Now, it’s colder, lifeless, and black, never to be reinstated to its original condition.

Which is why it’s odd that my chest is somehow making a familiar thumping noise right now. It’s as if my heart is being pumped back to life with oxygen. It’s about to beat out of my very chest while I stare at a mass of black hair through the floor to ceiling window.

My cause for sanity, or insanity depending on your perspective, is standing by that window. Pure addiction. Excitement. Provocation.

Raven is standing in the middle of the living room in a tight, black dress. Not surprisingly, she has high heels on. I bet they are red bottoms. She was always a sucker for them.

Somehow, she is even more beautiful than I remember. When I last saw her, she was a teenager. Now she is all grown up and has truly grown into her skin. Damn, that skin. Her pale and rosy skin. Her dress is exposing her shoulders, and my starved eyes take it all in.

I watch her with fascination. I am transfixed by her expressions and captivated by her every move. I already know that I can’t stop this madness. She is too close. This proximity has broken every self-control mantra I have recited and every promise that I have made to her.

It takes twenty-one days to break a habit. It’s been four years, and she is a habit I still can’t break. Like a junkie, I am in proximity to my addiction of choice. I should walk away. I should find a rehab and check myself in. But all I can think about is taking another hit.

Who cares about morals? Who cares about burning both of our lives down? I will burn everything down, break every barrier, tear down every wall, till we are surrounded by nothing but chaos, and the only thing left standing is her and I. That’s all that matters. And our families are the ones standing in the middle of all that matters.

If that obstacle were to be gone, would she finally stop holding back? I want to sayyes.

Taking out my phone, I send a text to Mia. A chill of excitement mixed with trepidation runs through my veins for the first time in years.

I am probably going to regret this decision.

I know I am triggered by her presence and the threat of losing her for good. There is a fog around me that’s not clearing. It’s not letting me come to a better conclusion than the one I just conjured up.

All I can see is her. I am blinded by that vision. I am trying to navigate through this obscurity to get to her by any means possible, because I can’t even breathe till I reach her again.

Raven finally turns, and we make eye contact. She is standing cross-armed with her game face on. All of her defenses are out. Something resembling a smile breaks out on my face.

Rushing towards the front door, I swing it open. I halt, needing a full minute to take her in. She stares back with a blank expression. Even that doesn’t piss me off right now.