Page 162 of Isolation

I get right down to it.

“I know about you and Milo,” I blurt out.

I don’t want to hear her talk about Milo. I don’t even want to hear his name from her lips, but I need to get this out in the open.

Raven freezes in shock. She is tense. Her muscles are completely rigid. We are both quiet. The tension in the room is palpable.

We both stare at each other uncomfortably.

“I am sorry,” Raven finally speaks.

I shrug, as if this topic doesn't inwardly kill me.“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

There is only one thing about her and Milo that I ever wondered about. It's the only reason why I am bringing this up.

“I need to know why,” I say point blank. “Why did you pursue him, and why did he pursue you?"

I feel my anger rising just at that little inquiry.

Raven opens her mouth but quickly closes it, contemplating something.

"Honestly,I was a dumb kid who had no business making life-altering decisions. Yet I did.”There is a sudden flicker of realization or some sort of acceptance that crosses her face. “We both did,” Raven mutters under her breath. “Milo was young as well. He made a mistake too.”

Raven stares down at her hands. A few moments pass by before Raven speaks again.

“Milo might have acted like a responsible adult, but he was the same age we are right now. Look at us. All we do is party and travel. He never got to have that experience because he took care of us. He was stunted in his own way.”

Raven doesn’t make eye contact and looks around the room. “Milo assumed I was this mature woman who could help him when I simply didn’t know any better. He made a horrible mistake with me. I was just—”

“—an escape from his shitty life,” I finish for Raven, unable to watch her like this. She looks so fucking broken right now.

Raventakes in a sharp inhale. “I am sure he has grown up a lot since we last saw each other. And I hope he has turned into the man he was always meant to be.”

Something in me says that Raven is hiding some crucial details along with her explanations. But to be honest, I don’t know if I can hear any more of this.

It was a bandaid that needed to be ripped off and now it’s out in the open. I confronted her and I rather that we never speak of this ever again. The thought of her and Milo makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.

“You were right, Reid,” Raven says suddenly.

“Right about what?”

“I am toxic,” she whispers. "I destroy everything that's good around me. Milo was all that's good, but after... everything got destroyed. I did that.”

I am stumped by Raven’s words.

Raven’s heart is breaking at just the reminder of whatever the hell happened between those two. She is quiet but I can see it. Shebelieves the shit I told her when I was younger.

“Rave! No!” I say incredulously.

I am about to move from behind the counter and gather her in my arms when Raven abruptly stands. She turns around and walks up the stairs.

I stay rooted, staring behind her. I am incapable of moving.

I am so frustrated right now.

I want to throw things at the wall. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to punch Milo in the face for whatever the hell happened between those two.

Most of all, I want to beat the shit out of my seventeen-year-old self for saying those things to her.