Page 153 of Isolation

I hate her.

If I run into her again in this lifetime, that will still be a lifetime too soon.

Turning on my heels, I slam the door shut in her face without bothering to look back.

CHAPTER 5

May 3rd, 2018

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Reid

One of the problems with ending a friendship with someone who is completely rooted in your life is that it’s actually never over. Not really.

I might have erased all traces ofherin my life but she still exists in all other facets.

We have been friends our entire lives. Our fathers are brothers in all but blood. The Becketts are still our closest family.

We also went to the same school and have the exact same friend group. All of her closest friends are my closest friends.

We didn’t realize how interwoven our lives were, until we separated. Even with an ocean between us, dodgingherhas been difficult.

Plus, there is that not so simple fact of us being born on the exact same day.

Onourmy eighteenth birthday, Milo tried to throw me a party. It would have been the first year I’d celebrate my birthday without her.

I was in no mood for a “soiree” and I think Milo could tell with my personality shift.

In his usualfix-itmode, he insisted on sending me on a birthday trip to Mexico and offered to have me take five of my friends along. All expenses paid for by Milo.

The same friends were invited to Paris, for the same weekend. All expenses paid for by Theressa.

Our friends hated having to choose.

Personally, I didn’t care to celebrate.

I don’t care for much of anything anymore.

I never feel anything and it’s fucking great. I might not be happy and excited, but my heart’s also not breaking every fucking second of every fucking day.

After years of pain and suffering, it’s much better this way. No more heartbreak. No more feelings. Just obsolete and nothingness.

I spend my days studying, and my nights drinking and fucking. That’s all there is to it.

So, I backed out of my birthday plans. She can have them.I don't care.

But,shealso reached out to our friend group, letting them know that she decided not to celebrate her birthday this year either.

Our friends went from having two all-expenses-paid international trips to none at all.

The teenagers were pissed.

The same thing happened the following year.

Milo was exasperated by my detached-from-life personality. He contacted my friends to redo the trip from last year.

Again, the whole group felt awkward because Janeen wanted everyone to go to Paris forher.