Page 49 of I Love You, I Hate You
“So all grunge, not just Nirvana.”
“Kurt was her first love, but yeah, she was into that whole sound. All music, really.”
He remembered something Nora had said about radio singalongs with her mom and winced internally. The pieces had all been there; he should have put it together sooner. He needed to tell her, but he wanted to enjoy this a little bit longer before throwing them back into the arena. “So what’s the rules for this? I have to go solo?”
“I should make you go up alone and sing ‘Purple Rain’ to a Minneapolis crowd after the shit you pulled this week. They’d tear you to pieces if you screw up Prince,” she grumbled. “But I’ll be nice. We’re up in two more songs. All you have to do is not embarrass me.”
“That might be kind of a big ask,” he admitted.
“Tone deaf?”
“Worse, if possible. I tried singing to Olivia once and she held a hand over my mouth until I stopped.”
“Well, we’re doing ‘Living On A Prayer,’ so try and keep up,” she said. “It’s an easy one, so long as you don’t try and get fancy. The crowd usually loves it and sings along, so it’s less work for you.”
“I thought this was about me paying my dues.”
“Baby steps,” she replied. Up on stage, three women in their early twenties were collapsing in giggles while they tried to get through an Ariana Grande song, missing half the words and screeching loudly on the high notes, of which there were many.
“You plan on taking me out again?” Owen asked, trying to hide his surprise.
“Don’t push it,” she said dismissively. “I’m mostly doing this because some asshole stood me up tonight and I just can’t take any more rejection.”
Owen shifted uncomfortably. Now was his chance, so he opened his mouth to admit the truth. “About that—” he started. But the DJ called their names, and she tossed down a napkin.
“Later,” she said, and jumped to her feet.
The best he could say was it wasn’t a massacre. But the moment he croaked the opening lines her eyebrows shot up, and she took over. She let him fade into the background, which was unusual for him, but compared to her talent he felt a little exposed. Fortunately, crowds are far more forgiving of men sucking at karaoke than they would be of a woman, so most people just laughed whenever his voice cracked.
The song was mercifully brief, or at least it felt that way standing next to her. Seeing her from the crowd was one thing, but watching her from the stage was something else. She was vivacious and warm and so beautiful it hurt to look at her, and he resolved to tell her the truth.
At the end of the night.
It had been a crappy week for her, mostly because of him, and he wanted her to have at least one fun night. Which was ridiculous because it wasn’t like he was going to tell her she had terminal cancer or something, but he did want to give her this. And he was selfish too, because she was smiling at him while they settled their tab and he never wanted that to end.
“I assume you’re a regular here?” he asked as they fell into step outside. She lived close, but he wasn’t about to walk quickly. He was not quite so melodramatic as to think he was on death row, but he did feel like he was on borrowed time.
“Not there necessarily. Usually my mom and I go to a shitty one south of the Cities. It’s closer for her and more our speed. But I always know where there’s karaoke, in case one of us needs to blow off some steam.”
“I thought that was rom coms and skipping work?”
“That’s a scheduled mental health day. Karaoke is more like, the guy you were dating turned out to be a piece of shit and you want to torch his car but instead you just sing a lot of Shania Twain.”
Owen winced. “Was that a common occurrence?”
“What, torching cars? We never actually got that far, but for her . . . yeah, there was a fair bit of heartbreak. She’s sort of a hopeless romantic, and she’s always assuming guys have a hidden gem inside of them that she just needs to find. Means she spends a lot of time in the dirt with nothing to show for it.”
“I notice you don’t mention your dad much,” he ventured.
“You noticed right. He walked out before I was even born. If he’s not going to pay attention to me, I’m not going to pay any attention to him.”
“That’s fair,” he said carefully. “But what about you? Anyone whose car you want to torch? Aside from the guy tonight, I mean.”
She snorted and stuffed her hands in her pockets, but her arm was pressed close to his. “That would involve me giving guys a chance. I don’t tend to let them get close to me, if you noticed.”
The penny dropped.Wow, I am the world’s biggest piece of shit.Luke was her safe space, the person she let see her vulnerable. And knowing that meant asking him to meet in person was an even bigger deal than he had realized, because it meant she was giving him a real, honest-to-god chance. He had seen Nora’s vulnerability and Victoria’s hard-as-nails exterior, but he hadn’t considered what that meant when they were the same person. And he’d blown it, because he was worried about how it would makehimfeel. He took a deep breath, because now was the moment.
They approached her building and drew to a stop. “Did you want to . . . ?” she asked, jerking her head towards the door.