Page 40 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I t’s like an electric buzz fills the air with the wait. The stands are packed with people, there's hardly any room to move, but I love it. There’s something about the pure passion that cheer fans have.

We’ve been here all day, watching as each team made their way to the mats and did their thing.

Not going to lie, there’s a lot of good teams this year, and it’s going to be a close one. But I know our team has it. Colton has made sure everything's been running smoothly. The guys have been at practice nonstop, and every time they run through the routine, it's like they get better and better.

When they practised last night, it was perfect. Of course, I wasn’t going to say a thing, because there was no way I was going to jinx them.

Sitting in the stands, waiting for the team to go on, is hard. I want to be up there with them, contributing to this win. But after the scare that led to us finding out that I’m pregnant, that I didn’t lose the baby afterall, there was no way I was going to risk continuing cheering.

Since finding out about the baby, the guys have been nothing short of amazing.

After all the bullshit I’ve put them through, I don’t even care about the intense hovering they’ve all been doing.

If they want to wait on me hand and foot, and treat me like I need to be wrapped in bubble wrap, that's the least I can let them do.

Watching them cuddle with my belly, speak to our baby girl, and get excited any time she kicks, always gets me emotional. Every day I feel guilty that I took that time away from them. I’m glad I found out when I did, with a few months to spare, so they could enjoy the rest of this pregnancy.

The next time we have a baby, I’m going to make sure we do everything. Nothing will be too big or too small. I never want to take that away from them again.

I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. Honestly, you can’t even tell. With all the working out I did, and keeping active, I didn’t gain much weight. The stress didn’t help with that either.

There’s hardly a belly at all. If anything, it looks like I just had a really big supper.

But I can feel the hardness of my stomach now.

I’m nine months pregnant, and I definitely don’t look it.

The doctor said the baby is more toward the back, making my stomach a lot smaller.

That explains all the damn back pain I'm having.

If I didn’t go to the hospital when I did, I’d probably be living one of those episodes of that show ‘I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant’ .

It still doesn’t feel like I’m pregnant. I’m only reminded when the baby kicks. Although, my boobs have gotten bigger, and it explains why I’ve been so moody for these past few months. I mean, the stress and depression sure did contribute to that too.

After everything came out with Lennox, what Missi did, and finding out I was still pregnant, I started going to therapy.

Given everything that’s happened within the past year, and how poorly I handled most of it, I want to make sure I’m in the best shape mentally before this baby comes.

I’ve been talking to Robin for a few weeks now, and while we’ve just scratched the surface of my mountain of issues, I know it’s going to be helpful in the long run.

Thinking I lost the baby, and how I dealt with it, really fucked with my mind. And I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to the guys anymore.

We’re a team, a family, and I need to learn to trust that they will be by my side, and they'll help me bear the stress and pain, rather than trying to be a superhero and dealing with things alone.

I know their trust in me isn’t fully back yet, and I don’t blame them. I would have been the same way if it was me on the other end of things. But I plan on showing them everyday how much I regret what I did, that I love them, and while they might not fully trust me, I trust them.

While things with Lennox might have gotten a lot better, we’re still not where we were before. Hopefully, with time, things will change. A lot has happened, and it’s not something that can just be fixed overnight.

But that's the end goal. To be a family again, to raise our baby girl together, and be a team.

So many trusts have been broken, and we’re a bit of a messed up family right now, but we’ve also been going to couples counseling, to help our relationship.

The fact is, none of us are okay. We all have obstacles we’re working through, and we're each dealing with things in our own way.

Patience and time are key.

But we love each other, so we’re all in this for the long haul.

I can’t imagine my life without them.

“They’re up next,” Trevor says, giving my hand a squeeze.

I smile up at him, and when his eyes meet mine, I want to cry. I hurt this man so badly, and it kills me every day.

Things have been rocky between him and the guys. They’re upset with him for not being honest, and keeping things from them like he did. Trevor was a wreck for the longest time about it. At one point, I thought he might leave me.

Thankfully, he didn’t. And even after all I did, he’s still by my side.

He’s a saint, is what he is. To know he loves me so much that he’s willing to still be with me after everything I’ve done, it means the world to me. It’s more than I deserve, but I know I couldn’t handle losing him.

In one of our therapy sessions, Robin told the guys that a lot of my decisions were based on denial, depression, and trauma.

After, I broke down, sobbing, telling them I regret everything, and I now see that I wasn't exactly in my right mind.

They seem to be a lot more understanding now. But still, I don’t blame them for how they’re handling it.

Bottom line, there were secrets, lies, and betrayal. That's going to take time to heal from, but we’re determined to make things work.

Excitement swirls in my belly for the guys as I try to ignore the cramping feeling.

One more hour, little one. Mama is asking you for one more hour. Let’s see your daddies win this, then you can make your appearance in the world.

After the doctor told me no more cheering, Colton went into cheer captain mode. We called in one of the decent girls from the auditions to take Sabrina's place, and Sabrina quickly learned my part in the routine.

Honestly, she’s better than me, so I’m not mad at all. Everything worked out in the end, and that's all that matters to me.

“Are you okay?” Trevor asks, his face filled with concern when I wince in pain.

“I’m fine.” I laugh it off, but I know he’s not buying it.

“Rylee.” The way he says my name has me hit with guilt. I’m supposed to be being open and honest. Time to fess up.

“Don’t be mad, okay.” I turn to him.

“Mad about what?” Lennox asks, joining me on my other side as he hands me the milkshake I’ve been craving.

“Oh, you're a life saver,” I moan, taking a sip.

“Don’t ignore the question, Rylee,” Trevor scolds.

I bite my lower lip. “I swear, I thought it was just gas.”

“What?” Lennox frowns, his nose wrinkling. I almost laugh.

“Now, I’m not a hundred percent sure, but I might be in labor.” I wince.

“What?!” they both shout at the same time, their eyes widening comically.

“We need to go.” Lennox rushes to stand.

“I’ll get the car.” Trevor goes to leave our seats, but I stop him.

“Would you two sit down?” I grab their arms, yanking them back down with a laugh.

“Sit down? You're having the baby, we need to go,” Trevor demands.

“Not yet. We have time. Our guys have worked too hard to miss this, and we will not ruin this, do you understand me?” I demand, looking between the two of them.

“They will understand. This is our baby,” Lennox says, and I hate how worried he is.

Missi really fucked with his mind. There’s been moments that I’ve stayed up watching him sleep, because I was afraid he was going too deep into his depression. I just needed to make sure he was here, still breathing and not going anywhere.

Losing the baby that was never really his, hit him hard. The betrayal of his father was unreal.

The fucker is rotting in jail, where he belongs. As for Missi, Mateo’s cousin kept her alive long enough to give birth. She had a little girl. Lennox’s mother decided to adopt her. She said she always wanted a daughter, and because she’s Lennox’s half sister, she wanted her in his life.

We still haven’t met her yet. Lennox isn’t ready. He spent months thinking she was his daughter, only to find out she's really his sister.

We’ve all had enough of that witch's mindfuck bullshit to last us a lifetime.

I’m not sure exactly what Link did with Missi, as I told them I didn’t want any details. I don’t care what happened to her, so the less I know, the better.

“I’m not even sure these are real contractions. They could be Braxton Hicks... Plus, if they are real contractions, they are too far apart. The hospital would only send me home anyways, and we would miss Nationals for no reason.”

Trevor looks over my shoulder to Lennox. “I don’t know.” He looks nervous. “What if the baby is in distress?"

“The baby is fine.” I grab both of their hands and squeeze. “I still feel her moving. We’re okay. The team is next, anyway. I think we can last another ten or so minutes. Please, don’t make me go right now. They worked so hard.”

“Fuck,” Lennox grumbles. “They are going to kill us.”

“No, they won't, because they will be on such a high from the win, and that we’re having this baby, that they won’t have time to.” I grin over at him.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” Len’s eyes widen, dropping to my stomach.

“Yeah, babe, we’ve known that for a few months now.” I laugh.

“No. You're in labor.”

“Might be.”

“Still!” Lennox blinks. “Holy shit.”

“Freak out later,” Trevor says, pointing towards the stage. “They’re on.”

My eyes snap forward and the grin that takes over my face is so wide that it hurts. I jump to my feet. “Let’s go, Widows!” I cup my hands around my mouth and scream.