Page 1 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

CHAPTER ONE

“ R ylee!” I hear my name continually being called, but I’m unable to pinpoint whose voice it is over the ringing in my ears.

All I can focus on is the test in my trembling hand, as my breath comes out in quick, panicked pants.

After what feels like hours, I wrap my fingers around the test so tight that the plastic bites into my flesh, as I close my eyes, tip my head back, and smother a sob that threatens to leave my throat.

I’ve suspected this for a few weeks now.

That I could be pregnant. With everything going on, I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind and pretend it wasn’t an option.

But over the past few days, I’ve woken up before any of the guys and ran to the bathroom to puke, before cleaning up and going on with my day like nothing happened.

After hearing the poison spill from that vile bitch’s mouth—that she was pregnant with my man’s baby—and hearing Lennox’s gut-curdling confirmation, I felt like something was dying inside.

How could he? I thought he loved me, loved Mateo.

I know he was hurting, we all saw it. I tried to help him, tried to get him to talk to me, but he wouldn’t. Not to me, not Mateo. No one.

But her? How the fuck could he do that to us, betray us and go to her. She’s evil. He knows this. He hates her. So why the hell would he leave us to be with her?!

It doesn’t make sense. None of this does.

He has to be lying, right?

She’s not pregnant with his kid. I am. I fucking am!

God, fucking hell. Please let this all be one big fucked up nightmare. What did I ever do to deserve nothing but endless pain and heartbreak.

Is this my punishment for loving so many men? It shouldn’t be. There’s nothing wrong with loving more than one person.

Clearly, the universe thinks otherwise though, and has decided to take one of my men away from me and give him to one of the worst people on this planet.

I hate her. I hate him. I fucking hate my life.

All I want to do is crumble to my knees and break down. To give up. Because what’s the fucking point?

“Rylee! If you don’t open this door right now, I’m going to break it down!”

“Fuck,” I hiss, snapping out of my trapped mind. That was Mateo, and knowing him, he’ll do it.

“Coming!” I croak out, wiping at my tear-stained face, unaware I was crying. “Just peeing.”

The pounding continues as I frantically look for a place to stash the test. Right now is the worst moment to be telling them about something so life changing, when everything is royally fucked up.

I haven’t even had the chance to process what the fuck just happened back at the gym, let alone the fact I’m pregnant.

Another bang has me yelping, tossing the test into the dirty hamper next to the sink.

My eyes widen as the door bursts open, nearly splintering as it smashes against the wall behind it.

Mateo stands there like an angry bull, eyes wild, nostrils flaring as he takes me in. “Rylee,” he breathes, rushing over to me. “Baby. Fuck. Are you okay?”

He cups my face gently, his gaze roaming over me, checking to see if I’m okay.

“No.” I huff out a laugh, giving him a teary, sad smile. “I’m not okay. I just found out our boyfriend is having a baby with the girl who’s made my life miserable since coming here. I’m not okay. I’m far from it.”

I plaster on a fake smile that I know no one’s going to buy, but I’m still in shock, and I honestly have no fucking clue how to react.

“But I’ll be okay. I’m always okay.” I laugh, because if I don’t, I’ll cry, and that bitch doesn’t deserve my tears. I’ve cried enough over Lennox these past few weeks, I don’t know if I have anything left in me.

“Fuck,” Mateo hisses, pulling me into his arms. His hold is tight as I wrap my arms around him, burying my face into his chest, and he holds me there with his hand against the back of my head. “Fuck, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. Everything is going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

I know he's sorry. And he shouldn’t be. He didn’t do this to us. He’s hurting just as much, maybe even more, than me.

I want to agree with him, that everything is going to be okay, that we’re going to find a way to work through this, but I can’t. Because I’m not sure if we can.

How can it be okay? How do we fix this? How do we come back from this? Does he want her? Are they going to be some big fucked up happy family now?

The thought turns my stomach, threatening to make me puke.

Is this the end of us and Lennox? Are we really over? Am I losing one of the loves of my life to the damn devil?

This isn't right. Nothing about this is fucking right.

But when has anything about my life gone the way it should?

Feeling like I'm seconds away from breaking down, to a point I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back from, I pull myself out of Mateo’s arms and push past him, needing some space.

I can’t fucking breathe right now. Everything inside me is breaking, crumbling to the ground.

As I step into the bedroom, everyone rushes over to me.

“Rylee, baby, are you okay?” Trevor asks, his eyes filled with concern. “What's going on? They won’t tell me anything?”

“Rylee.” Donny pushes Trevor out of the way, cupping my face like Mateo did. “Cherry, baby, tell me you're okay.”

“I’m fine,” I lie, laughing a little manically as I do. “So fucking fine.”

Everyone’s faces are filled with pain and worry.

“Bullshit,” Mateo growls from behind me, spinning me around to face him. “Don’t think you have to hold yourself together for him, Rylee.”

“What else am I going to do, Teo?” I ask, my voice cracking as the back of my eyes sting. “He got her pregnant. He said so himself. He’s with her now.” The words feel like daggers to my heart as soon as I say them, wanting them to be anything but true.

“Fuck him,” Mateo rumbles, grabbing handfuls of his dark, inky hair. “Fuck him and his bullshit. Fuck him and his betrayal.”

I hate seeing him in pain. All I want to do is take it from him, but I’m drowning in my own emotions right now.

“What is going on?” Serenity asks as I numbly make my way over to my bed. “Who got who pregnant?”

Letting my body move without thinking, I crawl onto the mattress, settling at the head of the bed, before grabbing one of my pillows and hugging it to my chest. I stare blankly at the wall, letting everyone around me talk. I don’t want to speak. Or think. I don’t know what to say.

“What's going on? Lennox just told us he knocked the evil bitch up,” Mateo snarls.

“What?!” Serenity gasps. “No. That can’t be. He wouldn’t do that, would he?”

“You're talking about Missi, right?” Alex asks.

“What other evil bitch do you know?” Donny snorts.

“She’s lying, right? She has to be,” Serenity insists.

“We thought so too, but Lennox confirmed it himself,” Colton says, his voice sounding almost as hollow as I feel.

“I’m going to kill him,” Trevor growls. “What the fuck is wrong with him?! I know he’s been through some shit.

And trust me, I feel for the guy. What happened was horrible, and no one should have to experience it.

But for him to go so far off the rails that he'd get involved with her? That’s fucked up. ”

“I think you need to get the man a psych evaluation,” Alex says, sitting next to me on the bed. I say nothing as he pulls me into his arms. I go willingly, having no fight left in my body to protest. “He has to be batshit fucking crazy to go anywhere near her.”

“None of this makes sense,” Colton insists as I close my eyes and allow my best friend’s comfort to settle over me.

I can feel the tension in the air. My guys want to be in Alex’s spot, but they’re too worked up, and honestly, I don’t know if I could handle their touch without breaking down.

Closing my eyes, I let their voices drift into the distance as the overwhelming wave of exhaustion settles over me.

I’m pregnant. There's a life growing inside of me. I should be overjoyed. I should be telling the guys that they’re going to be dads.

How can I though when one of them isn’t here?

Why aren't we good enough? Why couldn’t he love us enough to let us be there for him, to trust us with his heart? Why couldn't he let us help heal him through his pain?

Something isn’t right.

So much isn’t fucking right.