Page 29 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

That fucking asshole. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths. This isn't Timothy's fault. He gives me a minute to soak in the news before continuing.

“I just need you to sign some forms, and I have a few things about the estate to go over.”

I open my eyes and walk over to the chair he offered when I first arrived. My legs feel weak. My chest hurts, and I think I may pass out. I nod along to what he’s saying, but I’m not really here right now.

I’m stuck in a memory. It was the day my grandmother passed away.

I was at her funeral when he came up to me and said that it was just the two of us left now.

At that moment, I knew I had to run. I packed a bag that night, and after he passed out in his chair from too much whiskey, I walked out the front door and never looked back.

Timothy hands me a pen and I sign where it’s highlighted. I don’t want any of this, but right now, I can’t think straight. I need to get out of here.

“What time is it?” I ask him, standing quickly. “I have to go.” I grab the folders and the large envelope he gave me, then book it out of there. My chest aches and I can’t catch a full breath.

When I’m outside, I walk to the side of the building and down the alley, then sit and bring my knees up, wrapping my arms around them. The tears start, and I feel weak. I shouldn’t cry for that man. And in a way, I’m not. I am crying for my stolen innocence. For the life that I never got to have.

I was forced to grow up far too young, and I hate him for what he did to me.

I wish I could bring him back just to kill him myself.

He got off too easily. ‘Dying in his sleep, due to cancer complications’.

He should have been chained to a bed and assaulted until he begged for death, like I did so many times.

He should have been terrified to shower, not knowing if someone would walk in and watch, or record him. He deserved to feel the shame, and be disgusted in his own skin. He was the one who should have lived in fear.

Not me. I was just a kid. Fate is cruel. I had a happy life, only to have it ripped away from me when I was forced to live with a monster, who was just waiting for the day he could trap me in his manor of hell.

My guts twist, so I turn and vomit all over the dank, smelly ground. I need to get out of here, but my body is frozen. I’m numb.

My watch vibrates, reminding me of my appointment with Robin.

Fuck! I'm late, and Cherry was supposed to meet me there. We were hoping to have her speak with Robin, but after today, I really need to talk to her.

Hopefully, the guys will understand. We can always try another day.

I stand up and walk to the truck. My legs are shaky, and I feel emotionally and mentally drained.

I could use a drink, or five, and a two-year nap.

Thankfully, Robin's office isn't far from here, and it only takes me five minutes to drive there.

I don't bother flirting with the secretary today as Rylee is waiting right by the door. She looks worried and has her phone in her hand.

“Hey, there you are… Is everything okay?” I shake my head, grab her hand and pull her into Robin's office.

She's there in her chair, reading a book when we enter. “Donny, glad you could make it. We were worried,” Robin says, standing, but I swing Rylee around and she plops onto the couch, then I start to pace.

This is the place to just open up and let everything out, but my mind and heart are racing, and I feel lost.

Robin sits back in the chair and lets me continue to walk back and forth. Rylee leans forward, and I know she wants to reach out to me, but if she touches me, I'm going to shatter. And I can't.

“Okay, obviously something happened today, but you're not ready to talk about it, so why don't we start with last night. Tell me what you did?”

I stop and look at her, trying to remember, but all I can think about is his hands on me, throwing me into that dark room with my cousin. His cruel laughter and the flashes of a camera.

I grip my hair and pull tight, then fall to my knees as I try to breathe.

“I hate him. I fucking wished he would die. Every day. I wanted to sneak into his room and slit his throat, but I couldn't. He’d ruined my life enough. I couldn't risk being in another prison. I need air. Can’t breathe,” I gasp, clutching my chest.

I get to my feet and open the door. It slams against the wall, making some people in the waiting room jump as I rush outside, heading to the truck.

Rylee is behind me, yelling my name.

“Donny, please, you're scaring me. What happened?” she shouts as I climb into the driver's side.

I start the engine and roll down the windows. “Get in, Cherry. I just need to get away from here.”

She nods and opens the door, giving me a worried look. Once she's buckled, I take off, heading to the place I never thought I would return to.

Home.

When we pull up the long, three-mile driveway, Rylee looks at me with concern, and I know I need to tell her something.

She's been patient on the drive, letting me get my thoughts in order. I have told her some things before, but I'm scared how she will react to my deepest secrets.

“Donny, who's house is this?” she asks when I park in front of the huge manor. It has twenty bedrooms, including a media and game area, where he would try and bribe me to remain silent.

I take a deep breath and look out the windshield, avoiding her eyes.

“It's mine.”

“I don't understand, baby,” she whispers, reaching for my clammy hand. I smack the wheel hard, and yell, and she gasps, jumping closer to her door, away from me.

“Please, Donny. I have tried to give you time, but what the fuck happened? You just stormed out of therapy like the devil was chasing you. I'm seriously starting to get freaked out.”

I laugh and shake my head, then sniffle as the emotions hit me again. Why the fuck am I upset?

I turn to her and she wipes my eyes before cupping my cheek.

“I love you, please,” she begs, her green eyes full of worry.

“My grandfather died. He left me everything… Why would someone who assaulted me, made me feel worthless and broken, leave me everything?” I look up at Rylee and she has tears in her eyes. She shakes her head.

“I don't know, Donny. Maybe in his last days he wanted to make amends with you.”

I scoff and wipe my eyes. “He was a rapist. A predator. He didn't have a soul, let alone a conscience.”

She gasps, then takes a moment. I can tell she's thinking hard about what to say next. I don't blame her. This shit isn't easy to hear.

I expect her to freak out, but she surprises me.

“Okay,” she mutters. “What do you want to do, baby? You know I'm here, and we can call the guys too. Or we can go back and talk with Robin?”

Shit! Now that my panic is lessening, I feel bad for freaking out on her, then storming off. She didn't deserve it.

Robin is one of the best therapists I have ever had.

“Honestly, I want to burn this fucking house to the ground,” I mutter and she nods, unbuckles, then claps her hands together.

“Okay, let's do it then.”

“Wait, really?” My eyes widen.

“Yes, Donny. If this is the way for you to heal and move on, then let's burn it down. You said you owned it, right?”

I nod. I'm at a loss for words. Is she serious?

“Then we will call it renovations.”

I toss my head back, laughing, then reach over and pull her closer to me. I rest my forehead against hers. “I fucking love you, Rylee Moore.”

She gives me a smile, then grabs the back of my neck and kisses me. When she pulls away, I'm smiling and feel lighter.

We climb out of the truck and look for some gas cans. I remember the landscaper would keep them in the garage for his tools.

“Are you sure about this?” I double check and she winks.

Opening the front door, I sigh. They never changed the code. Memories hit me hard, and I stumble inside.

Rylee takes my free hand and guides me toward some gaudy curtains.

I begin pouring gas along them, and then the carpet, leaving a trail through the entryway, toward the study, where he would keep me hidden in a secret room behind the bookcase. No matter how loud I’d scream, no one could hear through the thick wood.

When the can is empty, Rylee hands me hers, and I drip while walking up the carpeted steps. I can't enter any of the rooms. I’m struggling to move through this place as it is, but I make sure to douse the stupid benches in the hall.

As we leave, I see a letter taped to the door with my name on it. My hand shakes as I grab it, then we walk outside.

“Do you want me to see what it is?” Rylee asks, rubbing my back. I shake my head and just bite the damn bullet.

I rip it open and quickly scan what it says.

Adonis,

I know anything I say won't change what I did, and I don't even know if you will read this.

I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.

I'm sick. My father was sick, and his father, too.

Don't let the darkness rule you. Break the cycle.

Be better.

Rylee holds my hand as I read the last words from my monster. He didn't apologize and in a way, I'm glad that he didn't. It wouldn't have changed anything, and would probably have been a lie anyway.

I pull out a lighter and set the paper on fire, then toss it onto the gasoline. Rylee gasps as it sparks to life, and we watch as it starts to burn the past to ashes, my pain along with it.

“We should get out of here. Someone is sure to call the fire department,” Rylee murmurs after about five minutes and I nod, taking her hand.

I walk her to the passenger side of the truck and give her a kiss. “Thank you for loving me,” I whisper, and she smiles, cupping my cheek.

“Always, Donny.” Opening the door, I help her inside, then turn back around and watch as the house continues to burn.

I know my pitiful amount of gasoline won't destroy everything, but it's a new beginning. I'm ready for this chapter to close.

He's gone now. I'm finally free.