Page 25 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

Donny surprised both me and Mateo by flying in our mothers and his little brother for the weekend. Mom didn’t press me about what happened during the summer, she just made sure I was okay, and we went about the day. It was everything I could have wanted.

Today was going so well—until now.

Knowing that seeing my mom off would put me in a mood I would like to avoid, I offered to stay behind and help clean up, to avoid the teary goodbye. Mateo and Colton offered to take everyone to the airport, while Donny and Trevor gave a few of the elderly people a lift home.

Now I’m wishing I went with the guys, because this isn’t how I wanted to end such a good time. Lennox is the last person I thought I’d see today.

“Don’t.” My voice is hard as I shoot daggers at my ex-boyfriend, my voice shaking with the urge to cry. “Don’t you fucking come in here and tell me you love me.” I shake my head. “Just don’t, Lennox.” My voice cracks when I say his name. “Please, don’t start.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, lowering his eyes to look down at his feet.

He’s clearly intoxicated. I can smell the alcohol on him from here. Everything in me is demanding that I tell him to get lost, to go back home to that bitch and leave me alone again. That he lost his chance with me, or any of us. But it’s so damn hard to be angry the longer I look at him.

The sight of him is nothing short of pitiful. His eyes are dark, like he hasn’t had any sleep in days, and there’s this overall depression coming off of him in waves.

I don’t get it. If he means what he says, that he still loves me, then why is he with her? Why did he betray our family like that, for her?

“Sit,” I mutter, turning my back to him as I point at a nearby empty chair.

“W-what?”

“I said sit,” I repeat, louder. “For fuck’s sake, don’t argue with me or I’m going to tell you to get lost.”

He says nothing, but I can hear his clumsy movements as he makes his way over to the chair.

Stupid, stupid, Rylee.

Glutton for punishment is what I am.

He’s hurt me in so many ways, yet here I am making the damn man a plate of food.

Maybe I’ve truly lost my mind.

Opening up a few of the containers I’ve packed the leftover food in, I make him a plate of turkey, mashed potatoes, and carrots. “Here.” I nearly toss the plate on the table in front of him. “Eat. It will help soak up some of that alcohol.”

“Thanks,” he murmurs softly, taking the fork I hold out for him, unable to meet my eyes.

There’s this moment of stillness, with him looking at his plate as I stare down at him, unable to believe he’s really here, before I let out a soft sigh. I'm not sure what to think about this whole situation, so I turn away, getting back to my cleaning.

I can feel his eyes on me, watching me as I move about the room. I both hate and love the situation. God, I’m fucked up .

“What are you doing here, Lennox?” I ask after too much silence.

“I–I don’t know,” he replies.

I huff out a laugh. “What, you just went for a walk and magically showed up here?” My back is still to him as I clean.

“No,” he grunts.

“So, how about we try that again?” I ask sarcastically. “What are you doing here, Lennox? Are you ready to tell me what's really going on?”

“What do you mean?”

Letting out an annoyed breath, I pause what I’m doing and toss the rag onto the table. Standing there, leaning my weight on the table, I close my eyes, trying not to let my anger do the talking. “Don’t play dumb with me,” I say, before turning to face him. “There’s something more to the story.”

“What story?” he asks, but the look in his eyes tells me he knows exactly what I’m talking about.

“I’ve been watching you with Missi. And as much as it makes me sick to my stomach to see you with her, touching her, kissing her.

” I shake my head as a swell of jealousy and pain hits me.

“I see how you react to her. How anytime she touches you, you cringe away, like you would rather die than have her skin against yours.”

His face falls with guilt, and I know I’m not wrong. He’s not even defending himself.

“You know, happy and in love, soon to be married people don’t act like that, Lennox.”

He might be trying to lie to himself, but he’s not fooling me. He’s good at playing the part, I’ll give him that, but I know him better than most people. If Mateo were to look, rather than be blinded by his pain and anger, he'd see it too. They all would.

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” he tries to deny.

“Bullshit,” I snap, taking a step forward as anger fills me. “Do you love her?” I demand, asking again.

“She’s the mother of my child.” He sounds broken as he says the words. I want to scream at him that I was the mother of his child too. But the world is a cruel place, and evil always wins.

“That’s not what I asked you!” My voice shakes, and I'm just barely holding back the tears. “You're here, telling me you still love me. But tell me, Lennox, do you love her? Are you in love with her like you were with me?”

“No!” The conviction in his voice has me weak in the knees. “I’d never love her the way I love you and Mateo. Never in a million years.”

His confession has me both filled with joy and wanting to cry in pain.

“Then, why?” My chest hurts from just asking the question. “Why are you with her?”

“Because I love my daughter.” He strangles out, running his hands through his hair in agitation, grabbing handfuls almost like a madman would.

I don't know what else to say. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to be with Missi to be a father to his daughter.

Then again, I shouldn’t care. He cheated on me and Mateo. He broke our trust, and our hearts. I shouldn’t even be entertaining this conversation.

I need to end this now before it goes on any longer.

“I think it’s time for you to go.”

His head snaps up, his eyes wide and wild. “What? No.” He shakes his head vigorously. “Stop, no, please. Not yet.” He jumps to his feet. “I’m not ready to go.” His voice breaks as he takes a step forward.

Tears spring to my eyes, and I know I’m about to break. It’s easy to be a sucker for the ones who hold a piece of your heart. Some part of me will always be owned by this man, whether I like it or not.

I still love him, even though I shouldn’t. I still want him, even though I know it’s the worst thing to crave.

His eyes stare into mine, and I swear it’s like I’m looking straight into his soul. My body shivers, and my eyes are wet with tears, as my heart feels like it’s beating a million times a minute.

“Please.” That one word, a plea, is like a man begging for a lifeline.

My breathing quickens with every step he takes closer to me. I don’t move, even though I should. And when he reaches me, I don't stop him when he cups my face. “Please.” This time it comes out as a soft sigh.

He leans down to kiss me, and just like that, I break.

A whimper leaves my mouth, mixing with his desperate moan as his lips connect with mine.

He cradles my face like you would something precious and breakable, while the other hand slides into the back of my hair, holding my head as he devours my lips with his.

My head is spinning, as all logical sense leaves my mind. My body comes alive, like it recognizes his touch and taste.

It’s like we’ve been pulled out of our bodies, and we're floating in the air above where no one can touch us.

Until the bubble is popped, making us crash back down to earth when his phone starts to ring.

I try to pull away, but he keeps his hold on me. “Ignore it,” he says, going for another kiss.

I’m a sucker, and I let him keep going. But when the phone starts up again, I manage to find some sense of control.

“Answer it,” I tell him, panting heavily while my body still hums as I take a step away. “It could be Missi.”

“Who fucking cares,” he growls, stepping into the space I just made.

“I won’t do this, Lennox.” My voice cracks. “Not when you're with someone else. With her.”