Page 4 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

CHAPTER FOUR

I t’s been two weeks since we last saw Lennox, and our family fell apart for good. I don’t know what to do or say to make things better. I’m just sitting on the sidelines and watching as everything we’ve worked for crumbles.

I sit on the bean bag, alone this time, as my therapist, Robin, stares at me. It’s been quiet for more than ten minutes now, and I’m waiting for her to start psychoanalyzing me. She’s still my favorite, but I don’t want to be here right now.

Sighing, she closes her notebook and tosses it onto the table. It makes a loud smacking sound, and I jump. My leg begins to bounce and I want to run. I’m on edge. I haven’t been sleeping well, and the nightmares are back ten-fold.

Rylee has been working through things, and asked for some space. Not that I blame her, but I need my Cherry snuggles to sleep. She keeps him away.

“Okay, Donny, this is what we are going to do today…” She pauses, then stands and walks to her door. “Cancel all of my other appointments. Mr. Baros and I are going to the zoo,” she says, then gives me a wink.

Blinking at her in surprise, I wonder if I’m hearing her right.

The zoo? Where the heck did you get the idea to go to the zoo?

This isn’t a normal thing therapists do with their patients, is it?

Damn, if I knew field trips were an option, I would have started seeing a therapist a hell of a lot sooner.

I find myself smiling and hopping up with a laugh. “You know what, fuck it. Beats sitting here, talking about depressing shit. And I haven’t been to the zoo in forever, so honestly, it sounds kind of perfect right now. I love me some tigers and monkeys.”

I grab my jacket and she tosses me her keys. “You drive.”

Following her out to the parking lot, we stop at the cherry-red Camaro. “This is yours?” I ask her, grinning because this car is pretty sweet.

“Yep, my dad helped me restore her after college. I have always wanted a car like this.” She grins proudly.

I open the driver’s door and climb in. This is such a sweet ride. Maybe I should get one. I can just imagine Rylee sitting next to me, her hair blowing in the breeze. A smile on her gorgeous lips.

“Are you going to start her up?”

I snap out of my fantasy and stick the key into the ignition. I rev the engine a little and grin. Checking the parking lot, I back up and pull out onto the road. Traffic is dead at this hour, and so I give it a little extra gas.

Before long, we are pulling into the zoo’s parking lot, and I don’t want to let go of the wheel. Robin opens the passenger side door and climbs out. She looks back at me.

“Hand me my purse?” she asks, pointing to the brown bag on the floorboard. Sighing, I turn the car off and lean over to grab it.

“Thanks. Now, let’s go see some animals and you can tell me what’s been going on. I’ll even buy you an ice cream if you’re good,” she says with a smile.

First the zoo, now ice cream? What's the catch? Does she know something I don’t? Am I dying and this is her breaking the news to me or something?

Nodding, I decide to go along with whatever she has planned, because why the hell not?

She reminds me of my mom in some ways, and my chest aches at the hole left there. I miss my mom, and my dad. If only they were still here. Then I wouldn’t be so fucked in the head.

I follow her to the admission stand, and I don’t argue when she pays. Considering her fee for counseling, she has more than enough money. Plus, this was her idea, not mine. Not that I’m complaining.

We walk down the ramp toward the food court and stop at the small coin machine. I have always put a penny in and cranked the wheel, and this time won’t be any different.

I dig in my pocket for some change, then place it inside the slots. I wait for the light to turn green at the top, then turn the wheel.

Robin is quiet, observing me, and I let her. At least, she's not taking notes here. I feel lighter being away from her office. Plus, I have really good memories of this place.

The wheel stops and my penny falls into the slot. Yes! It’s a tiger. I pocket it.

Giving her a quick look, I reach into my pocket and grab more change for the machine before cranking the wheel again.

This time, it’s a monkey, and for a moment, I debate on keeping this one too, but I don’t. Turning to face her, I hold the coin out for her.

She smiles. “Thank you.” Accepting it, she puts it in her purse.

Ready to get this zoo trip started, I turn and push open the double doors. The afternoon heat smacks me in the face as I walk along the path to the monkeys.

“What’s your favorite animal?” I ask Robin.

She points down a path and smiles. “The elephants. I went to a circus once and fell in love with them. Even got to ride one.”

I nod, because it’s a good answer. “I like the tigers the best,” I reply, letting her know mine.

“Majestic, confident, powerful predators.” She nods her head. “They take care of their family at any cost. I can see why you’d like them,” she muses, then walks off toward the pond with the large birds.

“My mother passed away when I was in middle school. My father was a good man, but he worked a lot, so I lived with my aunt. She tried her best, but she had her demons. I like to come here some days and sit on that bench and just watch the swans. I see myself in you, Donny. I am not your typical, stuffy therapist. I want to help children and adults who have suffered through unimaginable things.”

I scuff my feet as I walk over to the bench and sit.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Tears are welling behind my lids, and I don’t want them to fall.

I am so fucking tired. Not just from my lack of sleep, but life in general.

If it wasn’t for Rylee, Colton, Mateo, and even Trevor, I don’t think I’d still be here.

Lennox didn’t only break Rylee and Teo’s hearts, he shattered me too. He ripped apart my family.

A little boy runs by us with a blue balloon on a string, and a frantic mother chases after him.

“I once pictured a future like that,” I mutter, and Robin turns to face me.

“A wife and kids. For a short while, I thought maybe I would have it, but now Lennox has left, and started his own family with the wicked bitch of the west.” I sigh and run my hand over my face.

“Why do you think that dream's over, Donny? I know you miss your friend, but from what you've told me, you still have Rylee and the others. Has something changed since last week?”

I shake my head and groan. “No, shit is still the same amount of fucked, except Mateo keeps disappearing. I caught him sneaking in the other morning, drunk off his ass with a bloody lip.

“Rylee's distant still, and I know she has a lot on her mind, but every time I ask if she's okay, she lies, puts on a fake smile for my benefit, and blows off my concern. I miss her. I miss the way things were. I… I don’t know what I'll do if I lose her.” A tear escapes the corner of my eye.

Robin takes my hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Time. Some need more than others. Maybe try getting away for a few days. A change of scenery. It seems to me you all need to bond in your new setting. Lennox left, but for the rest of you, you're still together, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, as far as I know we are. Rylee's it for me. She keeps the bad thoughts away. The darkness can't thrive when her light is near. I need her, but I don't want to be clingy. I don't want to risk pushing her away.”

“And that right there, Adonis Baros, shows me that you are healing. I know things are messy right now, but you have grown leaps and bounds since the boy who entered my office a few short months ago.”

“Does that mean I get a reward?” I joke, then frown. My emotions are all over the place, and I feel guilty for even smiling.

“It’s okay to be happy, Adonis. Things are tough at the moment, but I have a feeling it won't last long. Now, how about some ice cream and you can tell me some of your favorite memories here at the zoo?”

Today was nice. Getting out in the fresh air, away from campus, but it's time to return to reality.

I pull into the parking lot of the cheer house and sigh. Does it make me a horrible person that I really don't want to go inside?

Rylee is doing a little better since last week, but she's still distant. And Trevor won't leave her side.

I get it. I have to share her, but I need her too.

No, Donny, you don't want to be clingy.

Fuck, why does shit need to be so damn complicated right now? Turning the engine off, I unbuckle and pop open the door.

There are a few girls milling outside by the pool, and I can smell burgers being cooked on the grill.

My stomach grumbles, but I need to change into some shorts if I'm going to hang outside. The weather is balmy tonight.

Maybe Teo and Colt will join me, and we can snatch my Cherry away from her footballer.

I walk up the path and nod at Ursula.

“Do you want any, Donny?” She moves, pointing toward the platter of burgers and hot dogs.

“Yeah, I'll take two burgers, no cheese. Thanks, Urs.”

I leave her and enter the house, the air conditioning immediately cooling me down. Alex and Serenity are in the kitchen laughing. She's making a salad, and he's standing behind her, whispering in her ear.

“How's Rylee?” I ask, leaning over to swipe some cucumber from her chopping board.

Serenity drops the knife on the counter and sighs. “I think she's a little better. She's strong. Lennox leaving threw her for a loop, but she will come around. Just give her time, Donny.”

I nod, swallowing the emotions down with my snack. My heart races and aches.

We all miss Lennox.

“Got it. I'm going to grab her and see if she wants to chill by the pool.”

I turn for the stairs.

“She's not here. Trev took her somewhere.”

Closing my eyes, I grumble under my breath. My shoulders slump and I sigh.

“Kay,” I mumble, then head for our apartment.

When I reach the bottom step, I know something's wrong. The door is wide open and it looks like a tornado hit our place.

Colton is sweeping up some broken glass in the kitchen, and he puts his hand up.

“Stop. Walk around,” he orders, and I see that there is more shattered china scattered around.

“What the hell happened? Did someone rob us?”

Colton sighs, placing the broom in the corner, shaking his head.

“Someone came today and packed up all of Len's things. Teo didn't take it well. He destroyed Len's room, smashed the TV, and then the kitchen, as you can see.”

I bend over and help him. “Where is he now?”

Cobbler's barking in my room, and I'm glad he was kept away from this madness.

“Stormed out. I'm worried about him, Donny. He's not eating, or sleeping, and he's been drinking…”

We finish cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, and I throw the busted TV out in the dumpster, while Colt tries to call Teo.

We're all spiraling. Some more than others. When I hear flip-flops smacking along the concrete behind me, I turn around.

“Here. I even threw in a hot dog for Cobbler,” Ursula says, handing me my plate of food.

My stomach twists and I wince. What once sounded delicious now makes me want to hurl.

“Thanks. Hey, did you see Mateo leave?”

She shakes her head. “I can ask the others, if you want?”

“No. Don't worry. Enjoy the barbecue.”

I give her a shaky smile, then head back to our place.

I hand the plate to Colt, and walk down the hall to let Cobbler out. He barks and jumps all over my legs, bringing a real smile to my face.

“Hey, buddy,” I coo, bending over and scooping him up. His little tongue licks all over my face and I laugh, petting his head.

I hold him like a baby and return to the living room.

Colt seems to be in his head, so I leave him to his thoughts. I sit on the couch and feed Cobbler some bites of hot dog. The burgers remain untouched.

My phone rings, so I set Cobbler beside me and dig it out of my jeans pocket.

I answer immediately and put it on speaker.

“Never thought I'd hear from you again,” I sneer.

“Yeah, well, your boy is down here throwing a fit. Come get him or I'm calling the cops.”

He ends the call and I look at Colt. “Did Angelo really just mention the police at an illegal underground MMA fight?”

He shrugs and stands up. “I don't know, but at least now we know where Teo went.”

It doesn't take us long to put Cobbler back into my room, change, and walk to the car.

I pause before starting the engine. “Is this what our life is going to be like now?

Rylee, lost and distant, taking comfort from someone else.

Lennox gone, and Teo off the rails? I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this, Colt,” I whisper into the night.

He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze, sighing. “It's only been a few weeks. Things will get better.”

“Yeah.”

I turn the engine on and head toward the warehouse, where Teo used to fight for his uncle.

The parking lot is packed, and I can hear the music blasting. We exit the car and walk toward the side door.

Angelo is there waiting, and he doesn't look happy.

“Take him and never come back,” he shouts with a sneer on his lips.

I nod, then shove through the door. We have to push our way through the crowd to reach the cage.

“How the hell are we supposed to grab him?” I yell over the roar of the crowd.

I watch as Teo stumbles around. His opponent gets another hit in and he grins. His mouth’s already bloody.

“He's going to kill himself,” I shout above the noise. They are extra bloodthirsty tonight, and for every hit Teo takes, they get louder.

“Fuck, we need to save him,” Colton roars, and I nod. I look for a way inside the cage.

It's chained, and the only way to leave is to win.

What the hell was he thinking? Is his life really that expendable? Do we mean nothing to him?