Page 38 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

T he doctor wheels in an ultrasound machine and my heart is in my throat. I have been through this so many times with Missi, and yes, I loved what I thought was my baby, but the fact that this is Rylee…

I’m scared as hell that she’s going to say that I put her through too much and ask me to leave. I will, even though it would destroy me.

I have been struggling with so much guilt ever since the night of the wedding. Learning what I actually put everyone through… it killed me. I thought I was doing what was best for them. I never wanted to hurt them, and I never thought about how much they would be affected when I did.

Growing up in an abusive family, I guess I didn't know what a normal, semi-dysfunctional relationship was like.

I knew that I was happy, and I loved them all more than anything, but I think I was blindsided. I never thought me leaving would cause detrimental pain. I figured they would move on together and be happy.

But as it turns out, it was the exact opposite, and I'm struggling with how to fix everything. How to make things better, or even how to fill my old role.

It just feels like we are passing ghosts in the hall. We want to reach out and touch each other, but we can't. Not yet.

“Okay, are we ready to see your baby?” the doctor asks, and Rylee nods. She has tears in her eyes, but I can still see the fear.

I lean closer and Donny makes room for me. “Hey,” I whisper, and she reaches for my hand. Her green eyes are wide with panic, and I smile to reassure her.

“I can't look. Not yet. What if he's wrong and there isn't a baby? Or what if I hurt our child, because I didn't know that I was still pregnant?”

I give her a big smile. “You are going to be an amazing mom, Rylee. Our baby is going to be perfect.”

She closes her eyes and the tears fall again. Teo leans over and wipes them away. I know he's freaking out, but it's all going to be okay.

This baby doesn't know how loved it is already. Rylee is going to treat it with care and respect, the way a mother should.

Missi never even called the baby hers. It was a parasite, demon spawn, devil child. Or mentions of it just being another manipulation tool.

I'm so glad that she's gone now, and as soon as my little sister is born, she will be taken away, into the care of someone who will love and spoil her.

A loud wooshing sound fills the small room and Donny cheers. “Wow, look at it go! It's kicking its little legs so hard. Cherry, how could you not feel it moving?”

I back away, so Rylee can see the screen. She shakes her head. “I don't know… Hi, baby,” she says, placing her hand on her upper stomach and moving her thumb back and forth. “I'm your mommy, and I promise, from this point on, to love and protect you with all that I am.”

The doctor clears his throat and starts to point out things on the screen for us. “It makes sense that you wouldn't feel too much. The baby is toward your back. Do you want to know the gender?” he asks, and we all look at Rylee.

“I'd like to know,” Colt murmurs, and Teo nods. Trevor looks hesitant and reaches for Rylee’s other hand.

“Whatever you want, baby. This is your decision.”

Donny snorts and starts to bounce on his feet. “I hate surprises, but I will wait if that's what you want,” he huffs, and we all laugh.

“I think I'd like to know,” Rylee whispers, and we all turn to face the doctor.

“If you look right there,” he says, pointing. “Congratulations, Miss Moore. You are having a little girl.”

Rylee gasps, covering her mouth as more tears fall.

We all surround her, kissing and hugging her. “I'll leave you for a few minutes, and then we can talk about your next steps.”

Colt walks over, offering his hand to the doc. “Thank you, Sir.”

“My pleasure. I'm glad today was some happy news.”

“A daughter. We are going to have a little girl,” Teo mumbles, then looks at me and swallows.

I laugh and walk over to him. “I will help you. I read so many books when…”

I shake my head and shrug. We still have a lot to talk about and work through, but for right now, we can just be excited and celebrate the little girl that will be joining us in three short months.

As we pull up to the cheer house, Teo parks, then jumps out and runs to Rylee's side, helping her.

“I'm pregnant, Teo, not an invalid,” she sasses, and Donny laughs.

“Oh, Cherry, we are going to be worse than helicopter parents with you. For the next three months, think of us like your own personal genies. Any wish you command will be yours.”

I climb out of the backseat and Colt whispers something to Teo. He hands him his keys and Colt jumps into the driver's side. Donny kisses Rylee, then joins him in the passenger seat.

“Are you guys not coming?” Rylee asks, and Donny shakes his head.

“Are you kidding? We have so much to do, to prepare and shop for. We are making an urgent trip to the mall. Our little princess needs to be spoiled.”

He slams the door and Colt quickly drives off.

Rylee sniffles and then sighs. “Fuck, how did I get so lucky?”

I take her hand and help her inside. Some of the girls are waiting in the living room. Serenity and Sabrina quickly stand and rush over.

“Are you okay? What happened? Don't ever scare me like that again,” Serenity scolds, then sniffles.

Rylee moves away from me and pulls her into a big hug. She whispers something to her, and I know she just spilled the beans.

“Oh. Oh. I have to go call Alex.” Serenity rushes off and Sabrina gives Rylee a quick hug.

“I'm really glad you're okay,” she says, then walks away.

Teo wraps his arm around Rylee, and she cuddles into his side. I'm happy that he's here for her, but I'm also jealous.

Things between them are so effortless. I know it's my own fault, and we will get there again, but I still feel left out.

“Hey, I'm going to go. Let me know if you need anything. Both of you,” I murmur and wave.

Rylee stops and grabs my hand. “Stay. It's time we talked.”

I nod and she gives me a smile. I follow them to Teo's room and he shuts the door, essentially trapping me with them.

Fuck. I hope this doesn't end badly.

Len leans against the door, looking at me nervously, as Rylee sits on my bed. My cock jumps, and I mentally tell it to calm the fuck down.

Right now isn't the time to be hard. Rylee just learned that the baby she thought she lost is still here. The baby that none of us, except that dickbag, Trevor, knew about.

Rylee sighs, wringing her fingers together. “I know you're mad. When I first found out, I didn't want to say anything until recent events had calmed down. You were a wreck, Teo.”

I groan and rub my face. “Did you even stop to think that finding out you were having a baby may have prevented all the heartache and spiraling?”

Rylee opens her mouth, but I hold up my hand.

“Just let me say this. Even in my darkest days, I was madly in love with you. I was broken that Len had left, but I didn’t understand why you pushed me away…”

I shake my head and pull her up from the bed, so she can look me in the eyes.

“I really don't want to keep rehashing shit, baby.

I am so tired. All we have done this year is fight.

With each other, and ourselves… I'm ready to put it all behind us.

I think I need to, or I may go insane, and I really don't want to be Missi's neighbor,” I grumble, and Rylee snorts.

When I glance at Len, he looks appalled, then gives me a smirk. “You definitely don't want to reside with her. Her nightly skin care, and the way she waxes and flosses, would give you nightmares.”

He visibly shudders and I roll my eyes. He moves a step closer, and I can see some of her anxiety leaving her.

“Are you serious? You're willing to put the past behind us and start over? Because I would really freaking love that,” he mumbles, then groans.

“I have been trying to think of a way to make things better.

I've been giving you all some space, waiting, but I have been away for too long already… Do you think, maybe… Can I move back home?”

He looks so hopeful, but scared that I'm going to turn him away. I swallow and then clear my throat and grunt.

“I have been waiting for you to. After the wedding, I thought you would move back immediately, but that night, you left and went back to that empty house, and… Yes, Lennox, please, come back home. I need you… We need you.”

He rushes over to us and pulls us both into a huge group hug. Rylee is softly crying as he continues to apologize to the both of us.

I soak in the feel of the two of them. I have missed this. When things looked bleak, I started to push aside what I wanted, and tried to get used to our new relationship. But it wasn't the same.

I love Rylee Moore with everything I am, but I also love Lennox Crane.

He moves away and I turn my attention back to our girl.

My baby mama. She's been struggling, and that makes me pissed. I've been so blinded by my own issues that I haven't paid enough attention to her needs.

But that stops right fucking now.

“Will you do something for us? For our baby?”

She looks up at me and nods, wiping underneath her eyes. “What?” she croaks.

I can’t handle her tears. Pulling her closer to me, I hold her and mumble against the top of her head.

“Talk to someone. It’s way overdue, baby girl.

We need you to be happy and healthy. If you want, I’ll even go see someone.

This year has damaged us all, and maybe some therapy is what we all need. ”

Len moves behind her and kisses the back of her neck. Rylee gasps and nods. “Donny mentioned about me speaking with Robin. I think I will. I’m really struggling, Teo. I have been silently drowning, and I can’t keep going on like this.”