Page 10 of Hold ‘Em Tight (Solidarity Academy #4)

CHAPTER EIGHT

I t’s not easy being the person everyone expects to hold our little family together. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guys, and I’m madly head over heels for Rylee. It’s not that I believe they aren’t aware of my issues, but I feel like I have to put them on the back burner to care for everyone else.

But they are not to blame for it. It’s my own fault, because my messed up mind has me in denial. Telling myself that if I don’t fulfil this role, I’ll be letting down yet another person in my life.

I’ve already failed my sister, and I’m currently failing my mother. The idea of failing Rylee and the guys too is suffocating.

My life has been one thing after another. I can’t remember the last time I could just breathe without anything to worry about.

The closest I’ve come to that is whenever Rylee is in my arms, or when I’m laughing and smiling with my friends.

That hasn’t happened much since our lives imploded yet again. I still haven’t been able to really wrap my head around the whole Lennox and Missi thing. It’s like we went to sleep and woke up in the Twilight Zone.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling myself slowly slipping away from the control I’ve worked so hard to keep in place.

Every time I close my eyes, all I see is my sister's dead ones staring back at me. Her broken voice calling my name, begging me to help her while I’m frozen in place, unable to do a single thing.

It's like there’s a blanket of cement holding me in place, and my lips are sewn together as I try to scream her name.

It always leads to me waking up in a terror-induced panic, dripping in sweat as I gasp for air.

I’ve been rooming with Donny since we got here. If he knows about the nightmares, he hasn’t said anything. Maybe it’s because he’s afraid I’ll ask about the ones that have been waking him up.

The only thing that matters right now is Rylee. Coming to visit her mother was the right choice. While I don’t think it was a fix for all of our problems, I can tell it’s helped a lot. She’s smiling and laughing more than she has since everything went down.

That's what matters.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

My phone rings, snapping me out of my thoughts. Blinking out of the haze, I look to see who’s calling and sigh when I see the name of the rehab facility where my mother is. Honestly, it's hard to believe she’s in rehab. It's something I never thought she would ever agree to.

I’m happy she’s there, I am. But just because she’s getting help, it doesn’t erase all the hurt and pain she’s put me through.

Ever since she was granted phone privileges, she’s tried calling me.

I still haven’t been able to bring myself to answer.

I feel like a horrible son because of it, but when she leaves voicemails, crying and saying she’s sorry, it’s not easy to hear. She says she loves me, and begs for my forgiveness.

How do I tell her that I’m not ready to do that? How can I forgive her for all the years of pain she caused?

I know she lost her daughter, and I’d never wish that pain on anyone. But I lost her too. She was my sister. My best friend.

To then have my mom check out on the world, I felt like I lost my mother too.

Only I was left to clean up the pieces of the broken mess she became.

I’m happy she’s getting help, and wanting to become a better person, but that doesn’t change the past.

And dealing with her need to mend things isn’t something I’m able to handle right now. I already have so much going on. One thing at a time. And right now, that’s my life with my girl.

I listen to the phone ring until the screen goes black, before tossing it onto the table in front of me.

I’ve been sitting by the pool for the past hour, needing some space to clear my mind, and now all of that work has gone to waste.

“How are we doing with try outs?” Donny plops down in the chair next to me.

“Shit.” I groan, scrubbing my face with my hand. “I forgot all about that.” I was supposed to put together a plan, but I’ve been so stressed out about everything else that it slipped my mind.

“Don’t worry, my man.” He grins. “I’ve got your back. That's what homies are for.”

Smiling, I shake my head and angle my body toward him. “What did you have in mind?”

“We put out a newsletter blast letting everyone know we will be holding auditions the week before school starts. Then, once we’re back into the swing of classes, we can dive right into figuring out a bomb ass routine that will be sure to win Nationals.”

“I’m liking what you're saying.” I nod along.

“Nice.” Donny grins. “Now, I was thinking…”

For the next hour, we come up with a game plan, and I draft an email before sending it off into the world. I’m hoping that we get some good candidates, because as much as I hate Missi with all my damn heart, she was a decent dancer.

But I’m taking this as an opportunity to find someone even better. It’s been a while since we’ve held a good open audition.

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been pretty picky about who we let on the team. So in the past, we’ve just sent out personal invitations to potential good candidates, for them to come try out to fill the empty spots.

This is a chance to see what kind of talent we have hidden in the school.

“Hey, you.” Rylee’s voice automatically has a smile taking over my whole face.

“Hey.” My heart skips a beat at the sight of her. She’s so damn beautiful. We’ve been spending most of our time outside since we arrived, and she’s gotten a nice tan.

You would think with her red hair and fair skin that she’d burn rather than tan, but she doesn’t. Maybe she gets it from her dad’s side, because her poor mother spent an hour with us the other day, and came home looking like a lobster.

“What are you two up to?” Rylee surprises me by swinging her leg over to straddle me on the beach lounger.

Gripping her hips, I hold her in place as she settles herself over my dick, her arms wrapping around my back, as her fingers settle into the back of my hair, playing with the short strands.

It’s impossible not to be instantly turned on by her. A smirk forms on her lips as she grinds down, feeling my cock growing by the second.

My heart is racing, and I try to think straight as she asks me something.

“Colton.” She laughs, her voice filled with smug amusement.

“W-what?” I swallow hard, my eyes flicking up to hers.

“I asked what you and Donny were just doing? I saw him walking toward your room looking excited.” She smiles softly. “It’s nice to see him like that. It’s rare these days.”

It’s rare for any of us to be excited about anything when our lives keep crashing down around us.

“Yeah.” I sigh, leaning back to get a better look at her in her white bikini. Fuck, she's just been swimming and the fabric is practically see-through.

Licking my lips, I try to ignore the pulsing throb of my erection and answer her question.

Clearing my throat, I speak. “We were planning what we are going to do about finding replacements for the team.”

Her face drops and I quickly keep talking, hoping the plan we have set in place will help.

“Donny came up with a good plan. The week before the school year starts, we’re holding an open audition for anyone who wants to try out.

We’re also allowing people to send in audition tapes, so it's open to anyone outside Solidarity Academy who wants a shot. We’re a good team, with an even better reputation, so I wouldn't be surprised if this turns into a big thing. You were the only exception for someone being added to the team that wasn’t picked by me. ”

“Well.” She laughs, leaning forward to brace herself on either side of my head. “I guess I should count myself as lucky then, huh?”

An involuntary groan slips from my lips as she rolls her hips, rocking her core against my very painfully hard cock. “Yes,” I pant out. “So lucky. So damn lucky.”

She bites her lower lip as she continues to move her body. She’s so fucking sexy. Her wet hair fans around her face, and her breasts—that I’m almost positive have somehow grown over the past few weeks—are practically in my face.

I want to pull down her bikini top and suck one of her stiff nipples into my mouth.

“How about you show me just how lucky I am.” Her suggestion comes out as a seductive purr, as she reaches between us to palm my cock.

“Here?” I ask in a very unmanly, choked sound, my eyes widening.

She nods slowly, moving just enough to slip her hand into my shorts.

My eyes flick around as my pulse starts to pick up. “What if someone sees us?” I ask, swallowing thickly.

She gives me a naughty little grin. “No one is going to see. This is our own private cabana. The only ones who have access to this deck are us, the guys, and the moms. And they took Nando out for ice cream. So it’s just me and you, big boy.”

I think my brain short-circuits when she wraps her hand around my cock, giving it a firm squeeze as she strokes it.

“Fuck,” I groan, my eyes practically rolling into the back of my head. With everything that's been going on, Rylee and I haven’t been intimate. It just wasn’t the time for it. With everyone being so stressed and in our own heads, sex was the last thing on my mind.

Until right now. I’ve never wanted to be inside her more in my life.

So when she pulls her bikini bottoms to the side, and brings the tip of my dick to her entrance, I nearly explode.

Panting heavily, my fingers dig into her hips as she slowly sinks down. The feeling of her wet pussy wrapped around me has me biting the inside of my cheek to keep from coming on the spot.

“Oh shit,” I moan, thrusting up and forcing my cock the rest of the way in.

The sweet little moan that leaves her lips is nearly my undoing.

“Mhhmm,” she hums, rocking her hips slowly. “You feel so good.”

“You feel like heaven,” I croak, my brain struggling to come up with coherent words. “So good, so fucking good.”

“I love it when you lose yourself in me, Colt,” she murmurs, her own breathing starting to pick up as she rides me a little faster.

I lay there, letting my queen do whatever she wants, taking whatever she needs from me. I live to please her, and holy shit, I do not mind at all.

“I love getting lost in you.” Groaning, I hold her still, lifting my hips up to thrust inside her over and over again.

“Yes,” she moans, meeting my thrusts with her own. “God, you feel so good. I need this. Need you.”

“Fuck, Rylee.” I grab the back of her head, tangling my fingers in her hair. “I need you too. So fucking much.”

“I love you.” Her words come out a little frantic, her eyes flicking between mine. “So much. I’m so sorry.”

My heart drops when I see that she looks like she’s going to cry.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” She shakes her head as her hands find my shoulders, so she can brace herself, to move harder and faster. “I’m just sorry I’ve been so distant.”

“It’s okay.” I grunt in pleasure. “I haven’t been any better.”

“No more.” She shakes her head again, moving closer so her lips are only a breath away. “I need you, baby, so bad.”

“Take me,” I growl softly. “I’m yours."

Our lips crash together in a needy mess. She slides her tongue in and over mine, and I groan like a man having his favorite treat when I taste her.

I swallow down her little whimpers and whines as she works herself frantically over me. When her movements become choppy, I help her out by moving her hips, making her fuck me deeper and faster.

This moment is everything I needed, settling the storm that's been consuming my mind and body. She’s the peace amongst the chaos. If I didn’t have her, I honestly don’t want to know the person I would have become.

She makes me want to be the best version of myself. To be a better man. So I need to remind myself to be the best man I can be for her.

“I’m so close,” Rylee whines against my lips.

“Come for me, baby. Be a good girl and soak my cock,” I growl low, my chest heaving as tingling pleasure starts to take over my body. I’m close too, and it’s taking everything in me not to come.

Not until she does. I want to feel her shake in my arms, as she makes those sounds that are like music to my ears when she comes.

“Oh, God,” she cries out. “Yes. Oh, fuck yes, right there. Oh, oh.”

My eyes roll into the back of my head as she bites down hard on my shoulder when her orgasm crashes over her. Her pussy grips my cock like a vice, quivering around me as her release coats my dick, just like I asked her to.

“That’s my good girl,” I gasp out as my own release follows.

I hold her close to my body as her pleasure consumes her, mixing with mine. My cock is pulsing hard as I fill her with rope after rope of hot cum.

It feels like it’s never ending. All of that pent up cum releases inside her, until it makes a mess at the base of my cock, and drips down my balls.

Her body collapses on top of mine, her gasping breaths fanning over my neck.

“Holy shit,” she laughs out breathlessly. “I needed that so bad.”

“Same.” I chuckle, sounding just as out of breath, as I wrap my arms around her tighter. I don’t want her to move. I need her body on mine, it's the connection I’ve been missing for far too damn long.

We stay like that for a while, just the two of us in each other's embrace. My softening cock is still inside her, but both of us seem content to stay where we are.

“I’ve missed this,” she whispers after a while.

“Me too.” I run my fingers up and down her back.

“We’re going to be okay, aren't we?” I hate how unsure she sounds.

“I’m going to do my damn best to make sure of it,” I tell her. “One thing I can promise, I’m not going anywhere. You're it for me, Rylee. So no matter what happens, I’ll be right by your side."

“Good.” Her voice cracks, like she’s on the verge of crying. Closing my eyes, I squeeze them tight, trying to keep my own tears at bay. “Because I can’t lose you.”

“Never,” I promise. “You will never lose me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.

“I promise.” If there was a promise I was ever dead set on keeping, it’s this one.

I mean it. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her, even if that means getting my bullshit together, so I can be the best version of myself. If not for me, then for her.

She deserves the world. And while I might not be able to give that to her, I can give everything that I am instead.