Page 81

Felix

Thornfield Hall.

Kent, England.

Felix tugged Sam’s hand as he dragged him toward the library at Thornfield Hall.

It had been a difficult six months—well, three months.

After the Parliamentary session ended and the general election was over in July, the majority of society retired to their country estates, Felix and Sam included.

At that point, it had been much harder for tongue-waggers to try to come after Sam.

Perhaps they were whispering in their own homes, but there was a safety in being secluded in the country.

Unfortunately, Sam’s past had resurfaced. Ryker had handled the source. Felix hadn’t asked questions. He only hoped the bastard suffered. Because when it came to threats against Sam, Felix discovered he didn’t just crave justice. He craved pain.

The rest of The Harborage had immediately begun working to clear Sam’s name.

The Dowager Duchess of Ironcrest had conveniently let a little juicy piece of gossip slip during her weekly tea with Society’s most influential matrons: It was just awful Lord Dalreoch had been forced into exile after his own family had tried to have him murdered.

The woman was as cunning as they came and spun her own tale.

There was no entail on the Scottish estate, she’d said.

The current Lord Dalreoch just so happened to have been his late grandfather’s favorite grandson.

The old Earl was set to leave everything to Sam, so his jealous and greedy relatives orchestrated the scandalous accusation to disinherit him, eliminate him.

It was terrifying, if Felix was being honest, what that woman was capable of.

But it had worked. No one knew what to believe, and it had taken place so long ago…

no one could prove it one way or the other.

And why else would the family have secured a pardon for their son if not because of their guilt?

There was enough doubt created, though, that while Sam was eyed more warily afterward, his reputation hadn’t suffered.

Oddly enough, he’d received even more invitations afterward.

To be the hostess to have the Lord Dalreoch in attendance became something of a coup.

Society was a strange beast. They loved and lived on scandal.

At least in this, there was more mystery than fact known.

And through it all, Felix had been able to be seen with Sam in public company because the entirety of the ton thought the Earl of Bentley had set his sights on the young widow Lady Yardley.

It hadn’t been easy; they’d still had to remain formal and distant.

They’d had very little opportunity to be alone together, and even then, they couldn’t be alone together.

Three months without even a stolen kiss.

They hadn’t managed time together until they’d both visited Devonford Castle in August. But as hard as it’d been, Felix’s heart couldn’t have been more full.

He had his Sam. More than he ever thought he’d have since the dreadful day he’d found out Sam had inherited.

When he’d resorted back to being the world’s most boorish arse.

Now it was time for him to make it up to Sam.

Sam had arrived yesterday at Thornfield Hall.

They’d just returned from a long stroll through the Bentley estate, admiring the vibrant autumn colors donning the landscape.

Sam had been quick to jump on the suggestion.

What a surprise. Felix grinned. Because it was adorable, and because he had an ulterior motive for getting Sam away from the manor.

He pulled Sam along faster. Hopefully, everything and everyone would be ready.

Felix had purposely distracted Sam in the orangery…

for a very long time, so that Sam would be none the wiser to all the guests arriving.

“What on earth has gotten into you, Fee?” Sam asked with a laugh.

Felix halted outside the closed library doors, muffled conversation drifting through the oak. He spun around to face a frowning Sam, a Sam who was eyeing the wood door suspiciously.

“I have a surprise for you,” Felix said a little breathlessly. He was so bloody excited for this. He knew Sam was a bit of a hopeless romantic, a fact that made his insides melt—that his big burly man, with his rugged and dark exterior, was all soft and sweet on the inside.

Sam winged an ebony brow. “Am I allowed any hints?”

“We’re having a house party,” Felix said and was greeted by a scrunched forehead. He laughed and bounced lightly on his toes. A small house party, one with only their closest friends. And what was about to happen in that library was the event set to start off the festivities.

“And why exactly is a house party you’re hosting…

a surprise for me?” Sam cocked his head, and Felix could see the whirling thoughts in those misty grey irises.

Searching, searching, and not finding the answer.

“When will guests arrive? We’ll have to be more circumspect.

We should probably be a bit more distant.

” Disappointment coated his words, his grey eyes turning downcast.

Shite. You’re botching this, Felix.

“No need, Sam. This guest list only includes our closest friends, those who know us.”

“Thank the bloody gods,” burst from Sam in a relieved breath. “I was this”—he held his fingers an inch apart—“close to throttling you for taking away the two blessed weeks we were going to have together.”

Felix shook his head vigorously. “I’d never.” Their time together was too precious.

He let out a slow, deliberate breath, but it did nothing to calm his hammering heart. He took Sam’s hands in his own, drew him closer. “Before we go in there,” he said softly. “There are a few things I want to say to you.”

He swallowed past his tight throat.

Here we go.

“Poets speak of love at first sight,” he started, a soft tremor shaking his words.

His gaze dropped briefly to their joined hands, thumb brushing over Sam’s knuckles.

“But that’s not what we were.” His fingers tightened involuntarily around Sam’s.

“Because my heart wasn’t ready to love you when you walked into my chamber at Devonford Castle all those years ago.

But even then, when you walked into that room, I felt something immediate, fierce, and physically overwhelming.

I was struck by fear. But not for the reasons you’re thinking.

Not for reasons I even knew at the time. ”

His voice steadied, grew in strength, certainty.

“It was because, when you walked into that room, my soul knew it had just found its perfect counterpart. And because of what I had been through, because of the world we live in, my body shut down to protect itself. Because my mind knew it wasn’t a possibility.

Logic took over and smothered what my soul recognized.

“But over four years, you have patiently shown me how untrue that is, how some things in this life simply defy logic.” His eyes turned hot, the telltale threat of tears hovering.

He blinked hard, willing them back. “You have proven time and time again that I can trust you, shown me nothing but compassion and understanding.

That I can rely on you. That I can fall apart, be my most vulnerable, knowing you will carefully hold the pieces of me together until I have the strength to stand on my own again.

“You don’t expect perfection of me. You don’t expect anything from me at all except for me to be myself. I don’t think I’d been able to truly be myself until you came to live with me last autumn. I’ve worn the Bentley facade for so long, I let it become me.”

Felix shook his head, still hardly able to believe it.

“Somehow you saw through it all. Had the strength to fight for me, for us, when I made it impossibly difficult for you. I ran from you three times, Sam.” He brought Sam’s hands to his chest, squeezing.

“Three bloody times. And you never gave up. I will never be able to put into words what that means to me.”

His eyes misted, making Sam waver in and out of focus.

He blinked hard, determined to see this man clearly.

“You are my strength. My center. My moon. Because just like the tide, when I run away, you’re always right there pulling me back.

And while I am so grateful for all that you give me.

It’s my turn to give you something. Show you how much you mean to me. ”

Felix stepped back, hand going to the handle of the door behind him. Sam stared at him, lips softly parted, grey eyes glistening like moonlight shimmering on rippling waters.

“Fee, I…” Sam whispered, his voice catching.

Felix shook his head and opened the door at his back. “Come,” he whispered. “Chase after me one more time.”

And like he always did. Sam followed.