Page 52

Felix

Felix attacked his cravat. His chest heaved. He couldn’t fucking breathe. The god-damned bloody neckcloth was strangling him. If he could just remove it, he’d be fine. Everything would be better.

His fingers fumbled over the fabric, shaking too much to grip around the knot. He braced a hand on the wall next to his dressing table and rested his forehead against the cool plaster. He sucked in a gasping breath and slammed his eyes shut tight.

“Felix?” A low whisper came from behind him.

He turned, rolling so his back sagged against the wall. He looked up at Sam, found those familiar grey eyes. Latched onto them desperately. Like they could prevent him from falling apart.

“Can you please get me out of this thing?” he choked out, his voice small and pathetically pleading.

Sure, steady fingers made quick work of his cravat and…Felix still couldn’t breathe properly. “God fucking damn it.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his sternum. “Why can’t I breathe?”

The soft kid leather of Sam’s gloves slid against Felix’s cheeks. “Look at me, Fee.”

Felix’s eyes snapped open, locking on Sam.

“Good. Now, you’re going to breathe with me, all right?” Sam’s black brows rose expectantly.

Felix dipped his chin.

“In through your nose.”

Sam drew in a slow, long breath.

Felix mimicked him, his jerky.

“Out,” Sam murmured, exhaling on a soft whooosh .

His thumbs gently massaged Felix’s cheekbones, and something eased slightly inside Felix.

“That was so good, Fee,” he said, voice warm. “Can you do it again for me?”

Felix nodded with more surety this time.

He followed Sam’s breathing. He didn’t know how long they stood like that, breath harmonized, chests rising and falling in a calm, even rhythm.

His lungs were finally able to fill, his throat no longer strangling him.

And all he could think of was the first time those grey eyes had caught his.

A midnight sky he could get lost in. But he was anything but lost staring into those enigmatic irises. He thought he might be found.

He leaned forward, something in that gaze pulling him in.

Sam’s breath ghosted over his lips. Their noses brushed.

Felix’s eyes fluttered shut—and then lips met lips.

Soft. Short. Sweet.

Sam’s fingers lingered on his jaw, reverent in their unhurried, tender touch. Like Felix was something to be cherished. He’d felt that once before. It had been a lie. But this time, he thought he might just believe it. His heart stuttered. Slowly drifted back to normal.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Sam’s lips tugged up on one side. “Of course. That was quite the discovery back there.” He grazed the backs of his knuckles down Felix’s jaw and then his hand fell away. His small smile faded. “I’m so sorry for the part I played in that. I had no idea it would lead to… I was just so taken aback.”

Felix started working on the buttons of his waistcoat, rolling his stiff shoulders. He needed a swim after uncovering all that. “Definitely nothing to apologize for, Sam. I don’t know if I’d ever have found out if you hadn’t noticed. Mother said she was going to tell me, but…” He swallowed hard.

When? What was the point of keeping it a secret still?

Family was the most important thing in the world to Felix.

And to find out he had a brother he didn’t know about?

One who had been right there, outside the window, always looking in at the family he knew was his but couldn’t be a part of? His eyes stung. Shite .

“Easy, Fee.” Sam stepped up to him, the man’s comforting warmth and spicy clean scent surrounding him.

Felix sank against him. “Sorry,” he mumbled into Sam’s shoulder.

“You don’t need to apologize for feeling emotions, Fee.” Sam’s hands coasted up and down Felix’s sides and a bit more tension left him. Then Sam pushed away Felix’s hands and finished unbuttoning Felix’s waistcoat.

“You do that often, I noticed.” The waistcoat slid over his shoulders and fell to the floor. Sam’s stare flicked to Felix’s. “But there is nothing wrong with feeling. It’s what makes us human.”

Sam’s hand slid up Felix’s stomach and settled over his heart. Those grey eyes swirled, a stormy mist of emotion. “Being able to feel is a beautiful thing.”

Felix’s breath caught. He hadn’t thought so. Until now.

“I’m really happy you’re here, Sam,” he whispered.

“Me, too, Fee.”

Silence fell, so much said in that quiet moment.

Felix’s chest thrummed, a gentle vibration of heady emotion.

It wasn’t anything he’d ever felt before.

He’d felt much in his two-and-thirty years.

The shattering pain of betrayal, the bitter taste of resentment, the fierce love for his family.

But never this. It was soft, yet intense.

Made him feel alive, yet threatened to suffocate him.

He craved more of it, yet it was too much.

Sam cleared his throat, eyes drifting away and breaking the charged moment.

He tugged playfully on Felix’s linen shirt, his cavalier smile back in place.

“So, can you tell me why you’re disrobing?

There are only so many reasons I can think of.

It’s not even close to time to retire, and I have this odd feeling shagging is not at the top of your mind right now. ”

Felix huffed out a chuckle. “I could really use a swim right now. Do you swim?”

Sam looked at him like he was a complete bacon-brained nitwit. “My best mate is Ash.” He lifted his eyebrows. “The man practically lives in the English Channel. Yes, I bloody know how to swim.”

Right. “I forgot,” Felix said sheepishly.

Sam chucked him under the chin. “All right. Let’s lose the clothes and swim off the excitement of the day.”

Sam started working on his garments, and Felix fell back against the wall again and took a moment to admire the view.

The man was a piece of art. No, that wasn’t correct.

The statues didn’t do him justice. Too lean.

Too small. Sam was a Norse god. Big—Sam’s breeches hit the floor and Felix bit his lip— everywhere .

A banyan hit Felix smack in the face, and he blinked.

“Come on Bentley. Stop shagging me with those eyes of yours and hurry the bloody hell up. I want to see that naked body gliding through the water. I have a feeling I’m going to like swimming with you much more than with Ash.”

Felix ducked his chin to hide his smile. He would make sure of it.