Page 35

Felix

Ash and Felicity’s retreating forms disappeared behind the curtain of willow branches. The two had made very quick excuses, and not good ones, for needing to leave. Immediately. Without Thorne or Felix.

Felix reached up and squeezed his neck, digging his fingers into the uncomfortable knot that seemed to be growing larger by the minute. “Well, that wasn’t glaringly obvious.”

“They’re not winning a knighthood in subtlety, that’s for certain.” Thorne’s amused, deep tone filled the willow’s haven.

“So…” Was Felix’s great contribution to the discussion, and he winced.

Thorne chuckled. “So…”

Felix’s mind was completely blank. He literally could not think of a single word to say. Except for so . And he was not saying that again. “This is awkward.” He nearly groaned. That probably wasn’t any better.

The blasted man standing before him grinned. “Perhaps for you. Awkward isn’t a word in my vocabulary. Relax, Bentley. I’m not going to bite. At least not right now.” He winked, and Felix’s shoulder muscles loosened a little.

There was that cavalier persona again, the one Felix feared he was becoming particularly fond of. The one he found…comforting.

“What do you suppose their aim is with this?”

“Considering I meddled with Ash and your sister…and”—he glanced around, his grey eyes lighting up with realization—“it involved this exact spot. Oh, I am going to murder Ash.”

Felix reached up and kneaded the muscle where his neck met his shoulder again. “So, it’s well and good if you murder him, but I’m not allowed to.”

“Obviously. Every best friend is granted the privilege of murdering his mate if he becomes too insufferable. It’s like…written law or something. I’m certain.”

Felix laughed and then grimaced as his finger hit with a tender spot behind his neck.

Thorne’s gaze sharpened. “What do you have going on there?”

“My neck and shoulders are giving me no end of misery. It’s been a bloody sennight…to say the least. Usually when I’m anxious or stressed, I swim. But I haven’t been able to do that with a lost sister and all. And then being here…”

In the next breath, Thorne was inches from him. Felix blinked at the abrupt change and before he knew it, he was being tugged out of his riding coat.

“What are you doing?”

Thorne didn’t say anything as he walked over to the willow’s trunk and slid down to the ground. He widened his legs and patted the mossy earth. “Sit.”

“What am I, a hound?”

A mischievous grin split Thorne’s face. “I can scratch you behind the ear and tell you you’re a good boy, if that’ll help.”

A bolt of lust shot through Felix, and if the widening of Thorne’s grin was any indication, he knew it, too. Felix pointed a finger at Thorne and gave him his sternest Earl of Bentley expression.

“None of that. Behave yourself.”

The man had the nerve to flutter his annoyingly long lashes innocently.

But for some reason Felix wouldn’t ever understand, he found himself following Thorne’s orders and settling on the ground in front of the man.

A safe distance in front of the man, careful to remain out of reach of any accidental contact.

A rumbling chuckle danced over his neck, bringing with it the faint scent of sugar and berries.

“For this to work, you’re going to need to slide back about two feet, my lord.”

“What exactly are you planning?” Felix asked without moving.

Felix didn’t trust his self-control around this man. And being here with Thorne, in this willow canopy haven, with the bubbling river outside and the birds chirping… Felix’s heart gave a hard thwump against his chest. It all felt a little too like they’d stumbled into a scene meant for sweethearts.

Then an iron-like arm wrapped around his middle and heaved him backward. His back collided with Thorne’s chest, an “ oomph,” bursting from him.

“That’s better.”

Felix closed his eyes against the blissful sensation of Thorne’s rumbling words vibrating against his back. But he didn’t have long to enjoy it.

“Lean forward slightly.”

Felix obeyed. Because what else was he going to do? And then Thorne’s large, thick fingers landed on shoulders and started digging into the knotted flesh. A low groan ripped from Felix, and his head dropped forward. Oh, that was heaven. Pure heaven.

Thorne’s thumbs massaged up the curve of his neck, then back down. Felix leaned into it, barely preventing a whimper. God, his neck and shoulders ached. And this? This was bliss.

“You swim often.” Thorne stated it like he knew it was a fact.

“Yes, though I’m not sure how you knew that. It’s not exactly a common pursuit.”

“I’ve spent quite a few moments admiring your body, Bentley.” His thumbs slid down and dug in just below the bone in Felix’s shoulder. “The Duke is an ardent swimmer as well. I recognize the muscular definition.”

Felix couldn’t do anything more than moan. His head sagged lower.

“What do you swim from?”

Felix stilled, his muscles going from melted to marble. Thorne gently coasted a hand up and down Felix’s neck, fingers gently toying with the hair at his nape. Felix’s eyes drifted shut.

“Easy,” Thorne whispered. “Ash tries to out-swim his guilt. Over his late wife. Over his daughter, who never was. Over how he raised his sons.”

Felix’s chest contracted. He hadn’t realized the Duke had lost his wife in childbirth, that he’d lost a daughter, too.

Felix’s mother had lost a child when Felix had been thirteen.

He didn’t remember much of it, but he knew it affected her so deeply she’d been sent away to a special place in Bath to recover her body and mind.

Childbirth was an immense risk—to mother and child.

Felix had known that, but it was the first time he’d truly seen how fragile life was.

And six years later, he’d learned it again—when it had been his life on the line.

“So…is that it? Are you swimming from something?” Thorne’s fingers slowly kneaded down Felix’s upper back.

Felix wasn’t sure if it was because his guard was softening as much as his muscles, but he found his tongue loosening and his personal burdens tumbling free.

“Pressure. To ensure my father’s legacy lives on.

To ensure my family is protected, that their futures are secure.

” He paused, his heart rate spiking before finally whispering, “Pressure to secure the Bentley line.”

Thorne’s fingers stilled for the briefest moment and then resumed their journey back up Felix’s back. “You seem a fairly competent fellow…” Thorne said, a teasing lilt to his tone. “Notwithstanding your cravat tying, of course.”

Felix snorted.

“But truthfully, as much as it pains me to admit, I’ve heard what people say about you. Everyone sings your praises, Bentley, servant and aristocrat alike. It’s one of the things that vexed me most when I was trying to hate you.”

“Trying to? That sounds like you’ve given up. Are you saying you no longer hate me, Thorne?” A grin split Felix’s face as he twisted around to glance at Thorne over his shoulder.

The man fought valiantly to keep his lips flat. He lifted a bored shoulder and let out a grunt. “Eh.”

Felix shook his head and turned back around.

“I’ll admit, part of it is feeling inadequate, but it’s more than that.

Sometimes the pressure is so crushing, like I’m being buried alive.

I am all there is. I’m where it ends. There is no one above me to step in.

” To protect me. To step in when I fail.

“It’s so easy for things to go wrong. The minute you settle, the minute you let your guard down, things go south.

That’s when disaster strikes. If I mess up, they are the collateral damage.

My family depends on me. I will always ensure they are protected and safe. ”

Thorne’s fingers squeezed tightly, and Felix flinched. He jerked his head over his shoulder and caught Thorne’s stormy gaze.

“Apologies,” Thorne said quickly, the storm clouds in his eyes clearing. “Are you all right?”

Felix shifted so he could see Thorne’s face better, studied the man’s tight features, the way his skin seemed to have paled slightly, the way his irises had turned a sad overcast grey. “Yes…” Felix said slowly. But are you?

Thorne cleared his throat. “That’s admirable, Bentley.

What you do for your family. And while it seems as though you do a commendable job, I can see the strain that would put on a man.

When an aristocratic role is embraced with genuine purpose, by someone who possesses heart and honor, for good, it is far more demanding than it appears. ”

Felix searched the man’s eyes, trying to find what he was hiding. But the man hid it too well.

Thorne gently turned Felix back around, removing any chance of prodding.

Felix let it go. It wasn’t his place. Even if they were trading more than he ever thought they would, every man was allowed his secrets.

Hell, Felix had his fair share. Thorne didn’t owe Felix anything.

Something inside his chest deflated, and he had no idea why.

Thorne encouraged Felix to lean back against his chest, then his hands worked over the front of Felix’s shoulders, dipping to the top of his chest muscles and then back up.

Felix sank back as his muscles softened beneath the man’s talented fingers.

A breeze picked up, and the willow’s branches swayed, whispering around them, a soft floral fragrance drifting into the haven.

“I make a lot of mistakes,” Felix finally murmured into the silence. Thorne’s fingers lightened in their touch, coasting softer, encouraging Felix to continue. “Obviously, you are well aware of the four-year failed betrothal I forced upon my sister. But that wasn’t the only time I erred.

“When my father had first passed, I was quite…sought after. One young woman pursued my younger brother—made it seem as though she desired his attention, but it was all a guise to get closer to me. Do you know how I found out what she was truly after?”

Thorne hummed in question.

“She propositioned me in my study. I was completely taken aback. Foolishly believed her interest in my brother was in earnest. She kissed me. Something my brother walked in on. He was eighteen.”

Thorne stiffened and cursed.

“I know,” Felix agreed. “I…felt like I should have known. What woman wants to marry a mere lad of eighteen? Untitled. And, well, I hadn’t thought of it at the time, because I love my brother, and his quirky ways are just something I adore about him.

But he wasn’t exactly a smooth-talking rogue.

I could have protected him if only I had been more observant.

Christ, if I had only used an ounce of my brain. ”

He exhaled deeply. “I’d never been more furious in my life. Well, maybe when…actually no.” He shook his head, and it rocked against Thorne’s shoulder, bumping into his chin. “I definitely hadn’t ever been that furious.”

He’d never truly felt rage for William Minton.

Gut-wrenching despair and heartbreak? The piercing hollowness that only came from betrayal?

Those were the things he’d felt regarding William.

And perhaps that’s why Miss Browning deceiving Fitzy had ignited an uncharacteristic fury in Felix.

It was one thing for him to be hurt, but one of his family? Inexcusable.

“My brother was devastated.” He’d seen the same look of destruction on his brother’s face that he’d felt all those years ago.

The old rage simmered under his skin, something he wouldn’t ever forget.

Because he would never forgive someone slighting his family.

His voice hardened. “I destroyed her. I ensured she was ruined so thoroughly she would never set foot in England, let alone London again.”

Thorne’s fingers stilled.

“You might think me harsh,” Felix said tightly. “But I protect what’s mine. No one hurts my family.”

“I don’t,” Thorne said quietly, his voice rough around the edges. “I admire you, actually.”

Oh. All rage fled, leaving behind softened muscles that had him sinking back into Thorne’s chest.

“How is…your relationship with your brother after that? Did he know you didn’t return her affections?”

Felix nodded, his head bumping into Thorne’s chin.

“I know it’s not common, but my entire family knows I have no interest in women.

My mother is a remarkably perceptive woman and a complete lioness.

She saw the signs, understood the faintest of hints I dared to reveal.

She paved a way for me to be safe. She and Father. ”

“You are most fortunate.”

Felix let his head fall back on Thorne’s shoulder and stared into the tree’s canopy, gaze tracing the large branches arching out from the main trunk. “I am.”

They sat like that, silent, time slipping by unnoticed; nothing but the lift and fall of Thorne’s chest at his back, the muffled sounds of the gurgling river.

Even the birds seemed to have quieted. It was odd, but for the first time in a long time, the weight of his responsibilities, the tumult of his anxieties…

all faded away. Felix was simply at peace.

In this haven. In this other world inside a willow tree canopy.

He registered a weight on his stomach and glanced down. Frowned. Thorne’s hands rested on Felix’s abdomen, arms wrapped snugly around him. Which meant…

Felix burst out laughing.

“What?” Thorne’s alarmed question cut through Felix’s fit of mirth.

“Are you…” He sucked in a breath, trying to calm his frenzied laughs. “H-holding me? What in the bloody hell are we doing?” Christ, they both must have lost their minds.

Thorne’s arms tightened, his soft breath dancing over the sensitive skin of Felix’s ear. “I have no fucking clue,” he murmured. “All I know is that it feels pretty damn good.” Thorne dragged his nose along the shell of Felix’s ear, and Felix shivered. “So, Bentley?”

“Mmm?”

“Shut your damn gob and just enjoy the moment.”

Felix let out a last huff of laughter and finally gave in, melting back against Thorne. “I suppose I can… Just for a moment, though.”

He closed his eyes and let go. Let himself enjoy being held, being safe in someone else’s strong arms.

“Just for a moment,” Thorne whispered.

And that was the truth, wasn’t it? All they had was a moment. So, he supposed he had to make the most of it.