Page 33

Felix

Felix drew his horse to a halt next to his sister’s.

He scanned their surroundings. Christ, it was like something out of a painting.

Giant willows bordered the flowing River Arun.

A mossy path led to their vibrant green cascading branches.

A thick wood lay on the other side, wildflowers dotting the overlong grass leading up to the trees.

He slid down from his horse, then followed Flick and her mount.

He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath.

The new blooms of spring were potent on the breeze, sweet and floral, the song of a collection of birds melding with the bubble of the flowing river.

A glorious May day, warmer weather on the horizon, flowers in full bloom, the earth reawakening.

New beginnings. A tiny bit of the tension in his frame eased.

They tied up their horses, and Felicity beckoned him to follow. “I knew you would love this place.” Flick smiled back at him.

Felix had always loved being outside. Far away from society. From constraints. From judgment. The Jennings trio seemed to need sanctuary. Fitzy liked to escape in his books. Flick and Felix liked to disappear into the wild. Where they could be free.

Felicity reached into the canopy, brushing aside a section of the long dangling branches.

Felix followed her inside, and his eyes widened.

He spun in a slow circle, mouth slack, taking in the myriad arched vines cascading around them.

The river’s sounds were muffled in here, almost giving the space a feel of being its own small world. It felt like…a haven.

“Do you know who else would love this?”

“Mother.”

Felix shot a grin at his sister. “Exactly. Mother would love this.”

“I’ll have to show her when she arrives.” Felicity plopped down against the tree trunk and wiggled her bottom until she was comfortable.

Felix lowered himself next to his sister, propping one knee up and resting a forearm across it.

He nudged Flick with his elbow. “So, you’re getting married.

I’d congratulate you on your betrothal and becoming the next Duchess of Devonford, but—wait—weren’t you already lined up to do that?

” He paused and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Am I supposed to congratulate you again?”

“Oh, congratulations are most definitely in order, you oaf. That was a hard-fought betrothal. Ash was determined to live a life of penance, to be alone for the rest of his life. But he stood no chance. Not against me.”

“No one does, sister.” Their gazes caught, and they shared a smile. Felix’s smile faded, and he ran a knuckle over Flick’s pert nose. “I’m unbelievably happy for you, Felicity. I’m so sorry I almost kept you from all of this.”

“You know—and I hate to be one of those everything happens for a reason people—but I feel as though things had to unravel the way they did.” She gnawed on her lip and linked and unlinked her hands, her gaze drifting inward.

“I…don’t think I would have ended up with Ash if I hadn’t come here to seduce him.

If we had broken the betrothal because you’d listened to me”—she arched a saucy brow at him, and he winced—“then we would have cut ties, and that would have been the end of it. It is not as though the Duke would have ever approached me afterward. So…maybe it wasn’t so bad that you were a total boorish numpty. ”

Felix let his head drop back against the rough trunk, an almost-there smile pulling at his lips.

“That may be true. But I hate that I didn’t listen to you.

It was just so confusing because you did want to marry Wessex at one time.

I assumed once you two settled down together, you’d be happy.

I remember when he asked for your hand. You were so excited.

The look on your face? God, Flick, I thought I’d finally succeeded at something after Father… ”

“Oh, I remember.” She rolled her head back and forth against the willow’s trunk next to him.

“But what young woman wouldn’t be over the moon that she was to become a duchess?

That a dashing gentleman wanted her as his wife.

The newly betrothed sparkle was snuffed out fairly quickly when I realized that Colborn wanted me as an ornament, not as a person, not as a partner.

“The thing is, Colby is someone I enjoy spending time with. But it’s nothing of consequence when your friends are spoiled arses who can’t keep their peckers in their pantaloons. You just don’t want to marry those people.”

A laugh slipped from Felix, but it came with a twist of the gut.

“Stop. I can practically hear your guilt. You’re forgiven, Fifi. You need to stop berating yourself over everything.”

“You forgive me so easily,” he said softly. “When it was no minor folly.”

She let her head fall on his shoulder. “Can I truly hold it against you that you love your family too much sometimes? I mean, goodness, you almost strangled a duke to defend my honor.”

Felix grimaced. “That was not my finest moment.”

Felicity chuckled softly and then broke out into uncontrollable laughter, burying her face into his shoulder as she shook against him.

Finally, she pulled away and wiped her eyes.

“Bloody hell, Fifi. How far we’ve strayed from the perfectly put-together facade we Jennings present to the world.

Seduction and strangulation. Can you imagine what the gossips would say? ”

He chuckled softly, and they both relaxed into comfortable silence, just the two of them, the muffled River Arun, and the soft tweets of nearby birds.

A few moments later, Felicity broke the silence. “Felix…can I ask you an intimate question? You don’t need to answer,” she added quickly.

Felix nodded slowly, shooting a narrowed side-eye at his sister. He had no idea where this was heading.

“Have you been with anyone besides Benedict? Since the incident…”

Felix opened his mouth, the ingrained response of “No” at the tip of his tongue. Then he stopped himself. Because he had now. “Yes.”

“Not counting Mr. Thorne,” Felicity replied, quick as a whip, as always.

“No,” he said quietly.

She rested her head heavily on his shoulder. “Oh, Fifi.” Her words were filled with sadness that hit Felix straight in the chest. “That must be awfully lonely,” she whispered.

He turned toward her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, squeezing his eyes shut tight. It was. Lonely. But he’d always had his siblings to take care of, the estate to manage, the Earldom’s reputation to uphold, things to get lost in so that the loneliness couldn’t creep in.

Except now Fitzy was married. Flick would be soon.

Mother was happy with her love, Mr. Campbell.

The backs of his eyelids burned, and he tried to breathe slow and deep.

But all he could see was himself sitting at Father’s desk in Father’s study with everyone in his life moving on and finding love, creating families, with him watching from afar.

All because he was too broken to even take a chance on finding it for himself.

Because if he put his trust in the wrong man again, he wouldn’t be sitting alone in Father’s study with the good fortune of watching his family from afar, he’d be forced to flee the country or face the end of a rope and never see them again.

“Is it because you trust Benedict?”

Felix blinked slowly, his thoughts sluggish as he returned to his and Flick’s conversation. Only ever having been with Benedict. Right.

“Yes. Benedict is safe. It was easy. It all started because we both felt like we only had each other. Benedict was just as traumatized from the incident. It was too terrifying a thought to try to find someone else, not knowing if they were truly a genuine person or merely a reformer. And I mean, that was how we had started before we decided we wanted to pursue other people, anyhow. So, we fell back on each other. Benny moved on more easily than I did. I just couldn’t—can’t. I don’t know why I can’t move past it.”

“Until Thorne.”

Felix scrubbed his face with his hands. “Bloody hell. Until that man. I swear nothing about me and Thorne makes any sense. He was a risk I never should have taken. I didn’t want to take it.”

“But you did,” Felicity said pointedly. She straightened, and he could feel her studying him, even though he faced away from her.

“I swear, when I walked into your chamber, I had absolutely no idea if I needed to call for help because you two were going to kill each other or if I should run because you were about to do things I most definitely did not want to be present for.”

Felix’s face heated. He still couldn’t believe his sister had walked in on him and Thorne the night of the whole strangle the Duke fiasco. Later that night, she’d given him quite a bit of cheek for being the world’s largest hypocrite.

Felicity chuckled. “Obviously the latter. But I’ll admit, I’m not sure I understand the whole wanting to strangle and shag someone.”

He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, the tight muscles giving a sharp twinge.

“I can’t say I really understand it, either.

I think…I think Thorne and I both made pretty poor first impressions on each other.

And that’s usually the one that sticks, is it not? What is it Father used to always say?”

“ You never get a second chance to make a first impression ,” Felicity immediately recited, and they both chuckled. A rule the Jennings family lived by.

“Let’s just say, I learned the lesson he was trying to impart with that one.

And Thorne is guilty in it as well.” He leaned back and closed his eyes, a smile spreading across his face.

“The man was so fucking infuriating, Flick. He was unpardonably rude. And you know how I cannot stand anyone disrespecting the Bentley name.”

“Oh dear.” The amusement was thick in her voice. “You are such a bear when it comes to that. Which I fully support. Anyone who slights the Earldom of Bentley has no idea what wrath they’ve unleashed upon themselves. Poor Thorne. He was digging his grave from the very start.”

Felix opened his eyes and toed at a loose patch of moss with his boot.

He stared blindly at the fuzzy green tuft.

“I’m jealous of him,” he finally admitted.

“Once he had an inkling of my preferences, he made his move. It was so easy for him once he knew. But even when he was clearly propositioning me , all I wanted to do was run.”

“Except you didn’t truly want to,” Felicity pointed out. “You were scared, and the need to protect yourself took over. But if that man hadn’t betrayed you all those years ago, or if you’d known with absolute certainty Thorne was safe, you wouldn’t have wanted to run.”

“I mean, obviously. The man is a treat , ” he said, throwing out his sister’s words from so long ago. He bounced his eyebrows, trying to infuse some levity into the moment.

Felicity grinned back at him. “Oh, definitely. Though I think he’s a bit large to be a treat. He’s a whole bloody trifle.”

Felix sniggered.

“And Felix… You know Thorne is safe now. Devonford Castle isn’t all that different from home.”

“True.” And wasn’t that an amazing discovery? Places like this were a very rare find in their world.

“Well, might as well have as much fun as you can while you’re here, then.” Felicity’s amber eyes flashed with devilry. “Don’t let that trifle go to waste.”

Felix’s lips pulled up in a smile, and he rubbed his jaw thoughtfully.

His sister was right. He and Thorne seemed to be getting past their differences, and even ignoring their rough start, Felix couldn’t deny they were explosive behind closed doors.

The man was everything Felix had ever longed for, and never thought he’d ever have the chance to experience.

Besides, weddings were a cause for celebration, weren’t they? Felix ought to celebrate as often as he was able before he had to travel back home.