Page 71

Felix

Sam walked up to Felix. His hands slowly lifted, hovered, then cradled Felix’s face with trembling fingers. Felix’s eyes fell shut at the soft skim of fingertips. They trailed over his jawline, brushed over his cheekbone, slid up to his hairline, and pushed his curls back.

His eyes fluttered open, but Sam’s gaze was focused on his hands. He didn’t meet Felix’s gaze. Sam’s attention followed his fingers as they traced the arc of Felix’s brows, down the bridge of his nose, over the bow of his lip. Like Sam was determined to commit Felix to memory.

Felix swallowed down the emotion threatening to drown him, refusing to let it rise above the surface.

It wouldn’t get in the way tonight. Felix was going to be with this man in the way he’d always dreamed.

As close as two people could be. He wanted this to hold on to.

Needed this. Just in case this was their only chance.

A choppy breath escaped him, and Sam froze.

Felix’s hands shot to Sam’s wrists. He squeezed gently. “I’m well. I promise, Sam. I want this. So bloody much .”

Need.

Would die without it.

Sam’s forehead dropped to Felix, and his warm breath puffed over Felix’s skin. “All right. Just… Be honest with me if it’s ever too much.”

“Promise,” Felix whispered.

Sam broke away and quickly grabbed the vial of oil off Felix’s dressing table.

Then he was tossing it on the bed and settling back between Felix’s thighs.

He towered over Felix, dark hair falling over his brow and shading his grey eyes, the angle highlighting his sharp jaw.

Felix lifted his chin, stretched up, needing contact.

Sam leaned down and gave it to him. Like he always did.

Sam’s lips found Felix’s, and this time, it wasn’t frantic. It wasn’t fraught with fear. It was laced with longing, soft and tender and heartbreaking.

Felix’s hands slid up Sam’s abdomen, soft flesh over hard muscle.

Coasted up to the strong curve of Sam’s muscled chest. Drifted through coarse black chest hair.

Each touch sparked a memory, sharp and vivid.

Sam’s stomach quivering beneath Felix’s cheek as the man dissolved into laughter—full-bodied, unguarded.

That broad chest surrounding Felix back in the gamekeeper’s cottage, a living shield.

The quiet mornings when Felix woke with his face creased by Sam’s curling chest hair.

The pop of the vial being opened echoed through the chamber. Anticipation slid through Felix’s veins, his pulse tapping against his throat. Sam’s lips kissed a path down Felix’s jaw, nuzzled into his neck, and then found that sensitive spot beneath Felix’s ear that had his breath hitching.

A slick hand surrounded Felix’s thickening cock and took him from half-mast to achingly hard in only a few strokes. Sam’s other hand landed on Felix’s chest and pushed lightly. Felix willingly fell backward without hesitation. Because this man would always catch him.

His back hit the soft mattress, and Sam followed, leaning over Felix while remaining standing at the edge of the bed. Sam’s lips mapped their way over Felix’s chest, traveling to his nipple. Teeth scraped over it, and Felix gasped.

“Again,” he rushed out.

Sam’s lips smiled against his skin, all the while leisurely stroking him.

His tongue laved the spot before he nipped it sharply again.

Felix’s back arched, a soft zap of pleasure flitting through him.

Then Sam’s lips continued their journey.

Slow. Thorough. Felix was starting to think Sam was trying to kiss every inch of Felix’s skin before the night was over. There’d be no protest from him.

Felix reached for Sam, needing to feel him, too.

He needed to feel the weight of Sam in his palm, curl his fingers around him, the heat, the pulsing desire that was all for Felix.

There was an unexplainable connection between them.

It was so far beyond two bodies seeking pleasure.

It was the reverent touches, the harmonized breaths, the communication that happened without words, the weaving of two souls in the most intimate of ways.

And so Felix did his best to let go of the turmoil of the day, sank into the here and now. Absorbed every loving touch, every whisper of adoration Sam murmured over his skin, relaxed his body as Sam stretched him open. Trusting. Willing. Wanting.

Pressure coiled at the base of Felix’s spine with every pass of Sam’s fingers over that spot deep inside. All the while, Sam watched him, gaze black in the low candlelight and burning hearth.

Praising every moan.

“ The sweetest purrs for me.”

Rewarding every hitch of breath.

“Such a good boy.”

Admiring every reaction.

“You blush so pretty, Fee.”

It was too much and not enough, all at once. His neglected cock leaked against his stomach, red, throbbing, angry. He needed more. He was ready.

“Sam,” he said with a pant. “Now. I’m ready.”

Those midnight eyes flicked up to his. “You’re sure?”

He held that gaze—as mesmerizing as the heavens at night—and poured every ounce of feeling into it. “Yes. Love me, Sam.”

Sam’s fingers slowly slid from Felix, then the slicked head of Sam’s cock pressed, sliding along Felix’s crease.

“Always,” Sam whispered, stare never wavering. And in that moment, it almost felt like nothing could break that connection. As long as they held each other’s gaze, nothing in this world could take Sam away.

Sam notched himself, rocked against Felix’s hole.

Not enough to enter, just enough to prepare Felix for what was to come.

A sign that he was going to go slow, take care of Felix.

What Sam didn’t realize was that Felix didn’t need to be treated like he was made of glass.

Not any longer. Sam had mended the fragile, broken parts of Felix day after day.

Sam had glued him back together, mended him so that he was unbreakable.

Because that was what happened when someone healed you with love.

Felix’s hand went to Sam’s hip. He flexed his fingers, urging Sam forward.

“Need you,” he managed past the lump in his throat.

The closeness. The fullness. Needed to know what it was like to have Sam deep inside him in all ways.

He’d already burrowed into Felix’s heart. Felix needed it in this way, too.

Sam pushed past the tight ring of muscles, Felix’s body giving him little resistance.

Because his body was desperate for it, the intimacy, the pleasure that only Sam could give him.

Sam circled his hips, slowly working himself deeper, inch by inch, until his hips met Felix’s arse.

Sam’s chest heaved, breath sawing in and out.

Sam’s throat bobbed, hands flexing where they held Felix’s thighs. “How are you doing?” he said hoarsely.

Felix’s lips twitched, and he reached up to gently run a hand down Sam’s flushed cheek. “I’ve never been better. But you seem to be struggling a little bit.”

Sam let out a pained groan, his broad shoulders and wide chest flexing and tightening deliciously. “You have no idea how amazing you feel.”

“Guaranteed, it doesn’t rival being inside you.”

Sam slowly drew back and gave a tentative thrust forward. Felix’s mouth went slack. Sam did it again, harder. Sharp pleasure shot through him, racing down his limbs, curling his toes.

“I lied,” Felix panted. “You win. This is better. A thousand times better.”

The weight of Sam’s chest settled over Felix, his lips coasting over Felix’s neck.

Felix’s pulse stuttered, his blood simmering, rushing south.

Sam snapped his hips, short and quick, as he left open-mouthed kisses along Felix’s throat.

Oh, God. Felix’s hands shot to the bed linens. Digging into them. Twisting.

“Still better?” Sam’s rich rumbled whisper tickled over the sensitive shell of Felix’s ear, and lust flooded his groin, pulsing in his cock.

“So better,” Felix said with a moan. Sam drove into him hard. “The most better.”

Sam chuckled, a chuckle that had the hairs on Felix’s neck lifting with the promise infused in it. Then he rose off Felix, grabbed a fistful of Felix’s arse in each hand, and yanked him to the edge of the bed.

He pulled almost all the way out. One. Long. Slow. Torturous. Glide.

Then sank home.

Felix’s vision dotted over as pleasure rushed over him before quickly receding. His lungs struggled to draw in air. He needed more of that.

Sam’s hands skimmed lovingly over Felix’s thighs, and he kept up his sinful torment. Slowly sliding out, then sinking home. His gaze was glued on where his cock moved in and out, mouth slack. His gaze flicked up, clashed with Felix’s.

“I could do this forever,” he rasped. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than inside of you. Loving you.”

And just like the man above him, those words sank into Felix.

Embedded themselves into his skin, beneath the surface, into the very essence of him.

Bliss built, the edge of ecstasy drawing closer with every stroke.

But with it came a sharp ache behind his eyes, the face of the man he loved blurring through the hot sting of tears.

Because the reality was, they didn’t have forever.

Felix urged Sam on, needing more, harder, deeper.

Hoping if Sam drove into him hard enough, the wave of emotion about to crest would be pulled back.

Sam’s pace quickened, every forceful thrust pegging a spot that had Felix seeing stars.

Felix locked his calves around Sam’s back, digging his heels in and using his strong man for leverage as he met Sam drive for drive.

The blood in his veins thrummed, his skin prickling.

He was sure his heart would burst. Being with the person you love, being as close as physically possible, wasn’t supposed to be painful.

But this? It was the most painfully beautiful thing Felix had ever experienced in his life. And it felt too much like goodbye.

Felix didn’t know if it was the overwhelming emotion—the good and the bad—or the fierce pleasure lighting up his body with every snap of Sam’s hips, but it all was too much. His ballocks drew up, his cock throbbing, the rhythm of his hips faltering.

Sam’s eyes flashed wide for a heartbeat before he increased his pace even more, hips slamming into Felix.

That’s all it took. Sam’s cock struck that bundle of nerves, and Felix’s back arched off the bed, a hoarse cry ripping from his chest. He fisted the bed linens as his body convulsed with wave after wave of bliss, his cock emptying on to his stomach. Untouched.

“ Oh God, ” Sam’s disbelieving rasp filled the chamber. “Holy fucking shite, Fee.”

Felix’s toes curled, legs locking impossibly tight around the man thrusting furiously into him, as the last vestiges of pleasure trembled through his frame.

Then Sam’s hips stuttered, his fingertips clamping down on Felix’s thighs as a deep feral sound tore from his throat.

Another shudder wracked Felix’s frame at the sound of Sam’s release, at the warmth filling him as Sam’s cock spent inside him.

Then Sam collapsed on top of Felix, forehead dropping to the crook of Felix’s neck.

His ragged breaths danced across Felix’s skin, his weight heavy, reassuring, his heat familiar, comforting.

He went to push up, but Felix quickly wrapped his arms around his man, pulling Sam back down.

He wasn’t ready to lose that. Not when he didn’t know when he’d have this again. If he’d ever have this again.

“I’ll crush you,” Sam mumbled into Felix’s skin.

“Don’t be daft,” Felix said thickly, blinking back the burn in his eyes. “Your full weight isn’t even on me.” It would be better if it was.

Sam pressed hard kisses along Felix’s collarbone but said nothing. He didn’t make a sound, but Felix felt the tension coiling—muscles going taut, fingertips spasming against his skin. He recognized it for what it was. A body seizing in pain. As its heart was torn in two.

“Go get us some wet cloths,” Felix whispered shakily. “And then get back over here. I want you lying completely on top of me. I need to be surrounded by you.” Need to drown in you.

Sam slowly pushed up, and his watery grey gaze met Felix’s. “Anything you want, love,” he said, his voice raw and rough-edged. “I’ll give you anything.”

And so that’s how they spent the night, wrapped up in each other, the secure weight of Sam anchoring him.

Sam’s cheek rested atop Felix’s chest, leg casually thrown over him.

But it was a long while until Felix succumbed to sleep.

He lay there, fingers sifting through Sam’s hair, letting the gentle hum of Sam’s even breathing soothe his aching heart.

He couldn’t fall asleep.

Not when every second with Sam felt so precious.