Page 70

Sam

Ash had stayed a few hours longer, and the sun had long since set. Ash had tried to be reassuring, but Sam could see past the positive facade his best mate was trying to don.

They would figure this out. They just needed to gather all the facts. They shouldn’t get out of sorts before Sam spoke with his solicitors.

The facts were, Sam was a convicted felon who had escaped. He was a fugitive. A sodomite. Who also now happened to be an earl. What a bloody mess.

Blakely had stopped in to ask if they’d be taking a meal in the dining chamber or in the drawing room.

But as soon as Blakely mentioned Felix had requested a tray in his rooms, Sam had sent Ash home.

The butler’s eyes had been brimming with concern, with sadness.

It had nearly killed Sam when Blakely had referred to him as my lord .

Nothing in a household was secret from the staff.

Which was why it was so important to have a loyal one like Felix and his family had assembled.

Sam took the stairs two at a time as he made his way to the master’s chambers.

How had a day that had held such promise fallen apart so quickly?

Hadn’t he just been brimming with excitement over the perfect tutor position?

It was like the fates had realized Sam was finally happy.

He’d stopped hiding. He’d let the discarded organ in his chest believe it could have love, that someone did want it.

He’d found the perfect person to hold his broken and battered heart.

But the universe found out and decided that couldn’t possibly be allowed.

Sampson Trenton escaped the noose once; it was time for him to pay his dues.

He paused outside Felix’s chambers, hand hovering over the knob. His eyes slid shut, and he braced himself, shoulders tightening, legs tensing, stomach twisting. If he didn’t harden himself, he’d fall apart the minute he walked through that door.

With one final measured breath, Sam entered the room.

Felix sat in front of the fire with a glass of whisky, staring into the flames.

He didn’t make any indication he knew Sam had entered.

Sam glanced around, gaze landing on the untouched tray of food in the corner of the room.

His heart grew heavy. His pain, the way his body was shattering piece by piece at what was to come, didn’t matter. But Felix’s pain? Now that was agony.

Sam cleared his throat softly. Felix jumped up and spun around, amber liquid flying from his glass—something he didn’t even seem to notice. They stared at each other silently. Emotion lodged itself in Sam’s throat, doing its damnedest to ensure he’d choke on it.

Felix’s mouth worked, but all that surfaced was a broken, “I…” His face crumpled, and Sam was in front of him in the next breath.

Glass thudded against carpet, and Sam caught Felix just as Fee’s mouth crashed down on his.

Felix’s hands gripped Sam’s face, sliding to his nape and pulling him close.

It was panicked; a clashing of teeth and tears and desperation covered in salt-stung despair.

The kiss was a cry for help, like somehow, pouring this much love into another person with bruising lips and delving tongues could fix their problems. Sam’s hands went to Felix’s hips, pulling him tighter, fingers clenching, wishing he could permanently fuse himself to the man in his arms.

Then Felix abruptly pulled away and buried his head in Sam’s chest. His arms snaked around Sam’s back, fingertips digging into the muscles just below his shoulder blades until Sam’s skin burned.

Like Felix thought, if he held on tight enough, if he burrowed himself deep enough, they could stay like this forever, that nothing else would matter, the world would fade away, and it would just be them.

Sam’s chin fell to the top of Felix’s trembling head.

He slid his hand up to cradle the soft amber curls he loved so much, tried to hold Felix steady while he fell apart.

Fee’s entire body convulsed uncontrollably with the force of his restrained sobs.

Hands latched onto Sam harder, and the most heartbreaking noise ripped from Fee’s throat.

And that raw, tortured sound speared through Sam, cut through his veins like sharp, fractured glass until each jagged piece lodged itself into his heart, a slicing wound one after another. Over and over.

God fucking damn it.

Sam wasn’t going to survive this. It couldn’t be possible for a person to survive this kind of suffering.

“Shh-hh,” he tried to croon, but it came out choppy, his own emotion scraping its way up his chest, moments from escaping. “I’m here, Fee. I’m still here.”

Eventually Fee’s trembling softened, his ragged breaths evened, and the tension melted from his body.

Sam pressed a kiss to those silky curls, breathing in deep, the scent of almonds and Felix.

Felix squirmed in his arms and managed to extricate himself, despite Sam’s muscles locking like iron in their refusal to let go.

Dark amber eyes, swollen and circled with red, stared back at Sam. Sam ran his knuckles over the splotchy blush covering Fee’s pale skin, the heat nearly scalding. Or maybe that was the knowledge of the pain that had caused the blush.

Something glinted back at Sam. Sam saw it, the moment Felix made whatever decision it was running through his mind. And then Felix’s hands were tackling the buttons of Sam’s waistcoat.

“Fee… We shouldn’t,” Sam started. They had so much they should discuss. Didn’t they? Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe it was just hopeless.

“No talking,” Felix ordered. His hard gaze flicked back up to Sam’s before falling to where his hands pushed the waistcoat off Sam’s shoulders. “Let’s just be for tonight.”

Sam’s hands jumped in to help Felix, and they stripped each other silently, the only sounds the soft whisk of fabric, the muted thud of garments hitting the floor. And then Felix had Sam’s hand in his and was walking backward, leading Sam to bed.

Felix’s fiery irises bore into Sam, resolve, determination, and desperation. “Tonight’s the night,” he whispered.

Sam swallowed roughly, a sting building behind his nose as his pulse took off. He knew exactly what Fee meant.

Felix hadn’t brought up Sam having sex with him since the time he’d asked in the orangery.

Sam hadn’t pushed, hadn’t even asked. He hadn’t been lying when he said he didn’t need that.

When Felix was comfortable, when he wanted it, Sam would gladly deliver.

Otherwise, Sam would enjoy Felix in every other way.

“You’re sure?” Sam asked hoarsely.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Felix lifted himself up onto the edge of the bed, eyes locked on Sam’s frozen form. “Come to me, Sam.”

Sam obeyed.

There was nothing in this world Felix could ask that Sam would refuse.