Page 80

Felix

For the second time that day, the study cleared of The Harborage members, leaving Felix and Sam alone.

Sam silently pulled Felix over to the leather couch. They settled facing each other, one leg folded up on the cushions, arms draped along the backrest. Felix’s pulse fluttered when Sam’s fingers linked with his own.

“What are you thinking?” Sam whispered.

“I think I might be in a state of shock,” he said honestly.

“But you are…happy with this plan?” His next words rushed over themselves.

“You’ve already started us off beautifully with my reintroduction into society.

And today we’ve come up with some promising strategies so that I will remain accepted…

without the need for the guise of a wife.

That protect us both so we can be together.

But we can always come up with more ideas.

We don’t have to figure out everything today.

If there’s anything you’re not comfortable with—”

“Sam.” Felix squeezed Sam’s hand. “Easy.” He threw the word Sam used so oft with him, the one that never failed to settle him when he was panicking.

Sam’s shoulders eased, and he relaxed into the couch.

“I’m happy with the plan. More than happy.” He scooted closer. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For standing by me, by us, even when I fell back into my old inflexible ways.”

“Never fear, Fee,” Sam said, a cheeky smile tilting his lips. “I’m always here to…loosen you up. You’ll be delightfully flexible when I’m done with you.”

Felix bit his bottom lip and huffed out a laugh through his nose. He liked the sound of that. Every interpretation.

But one last thing that had been niggling at him. “There is still the matter of your line… I know you said you are all right without a family. But your estates…”

Sam was already shaking his head. “A solvable problem. I understand how heavily duty weighs on you, Fee, how important your estate and tenants are to you. But I hold no attachment to my title, to my lands. It’s not something I ever wanted.

I know, especially with the great Earl of Bentley’s guidance”—he winked—“we can safeguard the prosperity of my estates. A distant cousin will inherit. I’m at peace with that. ”

He leaned toward Felix. “I will always choose you over that life. I know how much you wish you could have a family, but that is not my dream. You are. I am giving up nothing to be with you. You. Are. Everything. Nothing else matters.” He paused, leaned even closer, knuckles grazing over Felix’s cheek. “Understand?”

Sam’s breath danced over Felix’s lips. Lips that prickled with the need to feel Sam’s against his own. And thank Christ, Sam leaned forward and closed the distance. The barest of brushes, but it was enough to revive the battered organ in Felix’s chest.

Sam pulled away and traced Felix’s bottom lip with his thumb. “We could live in exile together for the rest of our days, and I would be content,” he murmured.

“Now, I know that wouldn’t make you happy.

And your wants are just as important, Fee.

We have a plan that accommodates us both.

One great thing about me having absolutely no reputation is no one knows my stances in the House of Lords.

So, if I conveniently…shared many interests with you, we would have ample opportunity to be in each other’s company—at Whites, visiting each other here in London, riding or walking in Hyde Park… ”

Christ, that sounded glorious. Felix leaned forward, his mind turning over different causes Sam could back, and a rush of excitement flooded him.

“And I think you’d really like some of the things I’m working on.

You had brought up how you need purpose, and obviously as Earl, you have your estates and tenants now, but I think this would be what you’ve been searching for. ”

There was prison reform, something Felix thought Sam would be especially passionate about.

But also many things supporting children in need—child labor reform, educational reform—there was always more need for foundling homes.

He couldn’t wait to go over all the things popping up in his head with Sam.

“We’ll move slowly, Fee,” Sam said, a trace of laughter lacing his tone. Something in the softness of his gaze, in the half-smile teasing his lips, had Felix’s cheeks heating. Sam brushed back Felix’s curls. “I can already see all the ideas taking root in that brain of yours.”

Sam’s laughter faded, his expression turning solemn. “But we might need to spend more time apart than together at first, until I’m not so much under the watchful eye of the ton. I should leave shortly…” he added sadly.

The rush Felix had just felt went completely flat. Sam was right. He shouldn’t stay much longer. It was too soon for society to see their paths crossing, word getting out of him calling on the Bentley house for too long.

“But it’s promising, right?” A soft warmth glimmered in Sam’s grey eyes, one that filled Felix’s chest. “You are worth any length of time I have to wait, any trial I have to endure. I will take whatever pieces I’m allowed of you.

” Sam cupped Felix’s face, fingers flexing.

“So, we’re doing this? Time apart, being circumspect, stolen moments whenever we can get them? ”

“Yes,” Felix said hoarsely. “Yes, we’re doing this.”

He closed the distance and crashed his mouth down on Sam’s rather inelegantly. But he didn’t give a bloody damn. He had his man again, and he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to have Sam’s lips on his. Not when he knew how rare it would be for the near future.

Even as it started out grasping, mouths pressing hard, teeth nipping sharp, two people desperate to reclaim what the world had tried to deny them, it slowly melted into something softer.

Lips grazed gently, tongues met like a coming home, gasps mingled until it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

It was so much more than a kiss. It was the warmth of the hearth after coming in from the cold.

The way sunlight felt on a face upturned to the late spring sun, the rays gently sinking into skin.

It was that first sip of drinking chocolate—rich, sweet, and just a touch bitter—warming from the inside out.

Soul-consuming. It was love, wholly, unadulterated, absolute.

Felix didn’t know how long they stayed like that, caught up in each other, but eventually they came up for air. Much needed air, because Felix was near to drowning in Sam, and it would have been the happiest death. Their foreheads fell together, breaths gently puffing over their skin.

“There’s something Mr. Campbell—Malcolm—said to me when we were at Thornfield Hall,” Felix murmured. “I asked him how he handled the distance, the need for discretion, the balancing of sharing my mother with another family.” He pulled back and met Sam’s gaze. “Do you know what he said to me?”

Sam shook his head lightly. “Something wise, I suspect. That man is a fountain of wisdom.”

Felix chuckled. Wasn’t that the truth? “He said it made him aware of how lucky he was. That he was the most fortunate of men, to be the one with the privilege of missing my mother, knowing she would be coming back to him.”

Felix took Sam’s hands in his own, fingertips gliding over each knuckle, tracing over the blue vein along the back. “So, will it be hard?” he whispered. “Yes.”

His gaze lifted to Sam’s, steady and sure. “But bloody hell, Sam, I want to be the one who gets to miss you. I want to be the one you come home to.”

“Then that’s all there is to it, Fee. I’m always coming home to you.”