Page 75 of Dirty Roulette
Chapter fifty-five
Payton
Today is my last day at GCU. I thought I’d be a bit more excited to put all this trauma behind me, tie it up in a black trash bag like the garbage I left in this dorm, and throw it into the dumpster.
Instead, it’s this bittersweet feeling in my gut.
Ryder spent nights with me in this dorm room.
Helping me study, falling asleep next to me on this twin-size bed that barely fits him.
His feet always hung off the edge, and I’d be the one to steal the covers.
Naomi comes into the dorm room as I tie my Converse.
“Hey girl, you ready for summer break?” The door clicks behind her.
All of my belongings are packed up and are lined up along the plain white walls I covered up with posters.
It seems like yesterday when I taped them up.
Now it’s the residue of tape I failed to pull off and some paper edges that ripped when trying to take everything down.
“Almost. I have to retake my algebra final.” I finish tying the knot I’m sure will come undone by the time I walk down the flight of stairs.
“Are you serious? Why are you procrastinating? Your ADHD is wild.”
“It’s Algebra. It’s fucking killing me. I hate this class, and if I don’t pass the test this time, I fail the entire thing.
” I complain, biting my bottom lip. Ryder has taken so much time out of his own studies to help me with the formulas.
My brain would collapse and turn into pudding in a matter of seconds when the terminology came out of his mouth.
I thought I was having conversations with Einstein.
“There’s gonna be a pretty wild graduation party tonight. Do you guys plan on going?” Noami wiggles her shoulders, puckering her glossy lips. “I have this awesome feeling Nick is finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend.”
“Charlie is leaving tonight with Noah and I plan on seeing her off. I won't see her for the next six months.” I pout, as I haven’t really let it settle into my heart that she is really going to take off.
We’ve always been glued to each other, and the fact she is stepping onto the tour bus and really leaving is hurting more than I would like it to.
Naomi tilts her head to the side and groans at me. She slumps over and falls to my bed. The sheets are no longer those damn princesses. I tossed them into the dumpster months ago when Noami shoved me into Ross and dragged me by the wrist to pick out better bed sheets. They’re black, like my mood.
“She’ll be back before you know it.”
“Yeah, it sucks though because Ryder is going to be traveling too. We agreed I’d go to some games with him during the season, but he’s very adamant about me finishing up college. I’d be the first one in my family to actually get a degree.”
“You’re always so timid about dipping your toes into the water. I think UCLA is going to be a hell of a lot better, you get to live in a cute condo with your man and legit start a new life. You don’t know what’s gonna happen until you try.” She brings her shoulders up to her chin and grins.
“Thank you. I’m glad we’ve become friends.”
“Me too!” She holds up her arms and comes at me for the biggest hug she could possibly give.
We say our goodbyes and I step out of the dorm. The hallways were packed, and the campus was swarmed with seniors wearing their dark green caps and gowns.
Walking along the sidewalk, the grass blossomed into a fresh green.
Leaves weren’t dark yet, and still had their bright tent to them as the sun bled through the branches.
I push on the door, and it takes me two seconds to realize it says pull.
A laugh escapes my lips as I walk into the cold room with the air conditioner on blast.
The professor hands me the test, with a number two pencil and scratch paper. He’s old school, but I don’t blame him as I sit down on a cold plastic blue chair and scoot in.
Chewing on my pencil, I stare at the questions that twirl into a foreign language the moment I study the fifteen problems. Using the strategies I know, I skip the ones hurting my brain and tackle the easy ones.
Every few moments I shut my eyes, picturing Ryder guiding me through the steps; those stupid big words he’d use giving me example after example, making it seem so easy.
Sweet. Another problem done. For once, I actually feel like I might pass.
The door clicks open and another student walks in, scooping up their makeup test and settling into a desk across the room.
Good. I’m not the only one retaking the final.
The instructor doesn’t even glance up – he’s leaned so far back in his chair I’m not sure he’s even awake – red pen perched between his teeth like a cigarette.
Twenty minutes later, I’m staring down at the last question when the door opens again. I glance over, and my heart falls straight to the carpet floor with a plop.
Ryder stands in front of the doorway, wearing his cap and gown and staring down at a single red rose. The door begins to sway closed, moving in slow motion as he picks up his head and his grey eyes meet mine.
“Trouve-moi,” he says.
Fin