Page 25 of Dirty Roulette

We are silent, listening to the waves crashing to the shore, and receding.

The last bit of sunlight disappears, and the sky turns into a dark blue.

I get lost in the restless motions of the water and stare at Ryder, who gazes at the sea.

I scoot closer to him, burrowing my face into his neck.

He’s smouldering hot, and I’m an ice cube.

It must have caught his attention because his hands mold over my cheeks and he drugs me with a kiss.

The strong hardness of his lips parts mine, leaving my mouth to burn with fire as our tongues brush together.

***

Crab: I couldn’t stop looking at you at practice.

Payton: Stop teasing me. Lol

Crab: Come over after practice, and I’ll really tease you. Xoxo

One step out of my underwear and the door swings open, letting the cold air flood in before I hop into a steamy shower.

Charlie invites herself in, kicking the door shut. “You could knock!” I shriek and cover up my chest with an arm.

“Learn how to lock a door, then.” Charlie’s mouth drops to the floor, and she points a finger. “Is that a Brazilian?” I swivel around with my heart about to rip out of my throat.

“It’s not like you don’t shave down there!” I pull the shower curtain to the side and let the water run over my back. There is no way I’m going to spill the bad decisions I made in searching up tutorials on how to do it.

“Okay, but you’ve never shaved down there before! How many times have I seen you naked?”

I replace the curtain and say, “I don’t need you up my ass about my grooming habits!”

Using her hand, she clears the fog from the mirror and applies a neutral shade of lipstick. “You gonna stop being soggy, and come hang out with me?” She asks.

“No, I’m gonna study for our first French quiz this Friday.”

“Study?” Charlie asks with sarcasm laced in her voice. “Whatever, have fun studying.” She places the lipstick on the counter and blows me a kiss before racing out the door.

When I’m done showering and the condensation starts to clear in the mirror, I put on a light coat of mascara and stare at the long-sleeved crop top I picked out.

It’s white, but my bra leaves creases and the outlines look weird.

Frustrated, I unclip the bra and toss it to the floor, then readjust myself.

Now my nipples peek out, and they seem smaller. I smooth out the shirt with nervous strokes. Jitters are coming out of nowhere. I’m going over there to eat pizza with cheese and pepperoni. The shirt is doomed to die from tomato sauce, so why am I panicking? My palms are sweaty.

The lipstick gives me a death glare. I pick it up and look at the name – Caramel Nude. It’s pretty, and I’m feeling a bit more desperate than usual. The cap pops open, and it’s a rosy beige. I try it out for myself.

I check my phone and notice that it’s a little past eight. Oxygen flees from my brain as I dip out of the dorms. My chest aches, I can barely breathe. The reasonable voice in my head tells me to chill out because I shaved my legs, but my nervous one says that I probably missed a spot.

I pass the courtyard and cross the main street at a traffic light.

The walk isn’t too far away, but the closer I get, the more nervous I am.

I’ve been sneaking around with Ryder for the past two weeks.

When Charlie isn’t around, he’s finding me to make out.

We’re eating dinner together when he’s not working.

It only seems to be making Charlie more suspicious, but she seems to keep buying the fact I don’t want to hang.

Once I’m standing on the sidewalk, the front door is too daunting. I round the house and find Ryder’s window cracked open. With two hands, I push it up and crawl in, landing on Ryder’s mattress with a plop.

He’s at his desk typing on the computer. “Y’know... there is a front door...” He swivels around and pulls off a pair of nerdy glasses.

“Yeah... umm I know.” I sit on top of my fingers.

“Why are you sneaking around?” He asks with a chuckle.

Gulping, I glance at my chest and face the bitter truth that my nipples do indeed poke out. Sexy girls do the whole smoldering lip bite so I give it my best shot, but I’m sure I look like a ridiculous buck tooth rabbit.

Ryder is shirtless, wearing a pair of gray sweats.

A whiff of his woodsy body wash sends a foreign warmth between my legs.

There is no buzzkill from the faintness of sweaty socks or his dirty clothes stacked in a pile the size of Mt.

Everest. I want to run my hands over his muscled chest, arms, and anything that he can flex.

A light in the hall flickers off, and the distant sound of a toilet flushing fills the quiet room, snapping me out of it.

“Hungry?” He asks.

My voice is tangled up in my throat, and I jerk my shoulders in a sloppy shrug.

He stands up, and his sweatpants ride low on his lean hips and reveal a hard, flat belly.

The tip of his penis is dangerously close to peaking out, and a match is thrown, setting my thighs on fire.

The torment won’t go away. I’m blushing all over.

He closes his door slowly with a light click.

This is it. He’s walking over. With his six-pack and glorious muscles.

I’m like jelly. My knees are going to buckle any second now.

Something between my legs is about to burst, and my heart pounds.

It’s the charcoal eyes. No wait, it’s his messy hair.

I like how dark and thick it is. No, I love it.

I wanna run my hands through it, maybe pull it.

What is wrong with me? He’s a drug that won’t stay down.

I’m anticipating him grabbing me by the waist and stripping me to nothing, and my mouth waters.

But that’s not what he does. He slugs onto the mattress and pulls out that bottle of Hennessy, twisting off the cap. “Want some?” He holds it out, and it’s like he dumped a bucket of ice water all over my desire. Now I’m depressed, and he’s drinking.

“Sure...” I say, mad at myself. I stupidly tried looking gorgeous for him.

He’s staring at the floor when my nipples are poking out of this damn loose shirt.

I’ve been making myself hot every night for him.

All he has to do is peek underneath my shirt and he’ll see my entire rack, but I take a shot.

I let myself gag as it coats my throat and burns when it reaches my stomach.

The phone on his nightstand goes off, and out of the corner of my eye, the name Brittni pops up. Ryder slides it open, and it’s messages from her, but no responses from him. He reads it, then tosses it.

He runs a hand over his face and groans. Without hesitation, he grasps the liquor and takes another swig. “I’m exhausted. I got a paper to write, and it’s due in two days. I’ve kinda been putting it off.” He points the bottle at the computer.

Shoot. I’m awkward. Say something. “I have a French test coming up and I haven’t really studied and so far I suck at algebra.

I failed my first quiz today.” It slides off my tongue, attempting to make conversation.

I mentally facepalm. Wrong thing to mention.

There is no way he’s gonna get a boner now.

Ryder dips the bottle to his lips. “You failed your first quiz?” He hands it back to me, and I take a swig.

“Yeah, I wasn’t very good at it in high school either.”

“You should have said something. I went through calculus and got an A. Bring over your work tomorrow, and let me help you.”

“Really?” I ask.

The cell buzzes on the nightstand again and her name appears. Ryder yanks it from the charger and holds the power button. When the screen turns black, another shot slips down my throat.

“I’m sorry...” he says and runs a hand through his hair. I pin my arms over my chest.

“Why is she calling you?” I ask.

“It won’t click in her head. We aren’t getting back together, and she’s having a moment.” He uses quotation marks with his hands.

The tip of his tongue runs between his lips.

“Did you two talk or something today?” I let out a nervous laugh with the question. Ryder scoffs with a grin perking up on one side of his face as he shakes his head. “She hassled me after practice. You were long gone.” His mouth sinks into a sad smile.

“Oh...” A knife rams right into my sternum and it hurts hearing he talked to her, and I didn’t see it. Something about not knowing the unknown is unsettling, and I don’t like the bitter feeling accompanying it.

“She’s used to always being told yes. I am not gonna give her that satisfaction.

” He puts his hands on my knee. “So the algebra... come over tomorrow and I can help you with it, yeah?” He whispers under his breath.

I nod my head, biting my bottom lip. The doorbell rings, and footsteps scurry down the hallway.

“Finally,” he says.

I follow him out into the kitchen where Scottie P holds five gigantic boxes in his hands and puts them on the table.

“Dog, you think you ordered enough?” Scottie P asks and opens one of the boxes with melted cheese all over the place. The pepperonis look delicious and coated in the perfect amount of grease.

“Bruh, I got wings too!” Jared digs into another box. Other football players huddle at the table fighting for the plastic plates and the liters of Pepsi.

Ryder lifts the pizza over his head, the cheese sliding right off into his mouth. “Want to watch a movie?” He asks, mid-chew. “And you need to eat more than that.” He stares down at the tiny slice on my plate and snatches a fatter piece. “Eat this one too, and this one.”

“Bossy much?” I ask.

“Guess you’re going to have to listen.” I follow him back to his room, and he props his computer on the edge of the bed, skimming through the different movies on Netflix.

First, it’s action thrillers, then horror and he skips romance entirely.

After ten minutes of his brain not making a decision, I crawl over and cover his eyes with both hands.