Page 7 of Dirty Roulette

Chapter six

Ryder

If hell exists, it’s the little voice telling my sister how great of an idea it was to attend this mad house.

By the time Jared and I reach the front door it’s nearly two in the morning and this place hasn’t let up.

We walk in and some dude sways over, holding his baggy sweatpants.

They threaten to fall to his ankles as I debate wiping off the mean mug plastered on his face.

This meathead is Slim Shady’s donated sperm that needs his momma to purchase him a damn belt.

“Pay the toll, asswipe.” He looks me dead in the eye and Jared shoves the case of beer into his chest.

We push our way through the thick crowd.

A shirtless guy stumbles past me wearing bulky glasses and a lampshade as a hat.

Someone starts a chant at the beer pong table, and it deafens the booming music.

People stumble around, girls dance, twerking and grinding on sweaty bodies.

There’s spit swapping and loners leaning against the walls with red cups and beers in hand.

It’s way past the chill buzz vibes – a typical weekend for students. I lean into Jared and say, “I’m going to check upstairs.”

“I’ll be outside.” He points his head to a thick crowd in the backyard.

I race up the stairs and down the long hallway. A door flings open with one of the linemen from the team zipping up his jeans. Two seconds pass and Brittni emerges, combing a hand through her hair and wiping the edge of her lips.

“Cute...” I say.

“Hey, you.” Brittni sashays over and brushes a hand on my forearm. She does that thing with her green eyes locking onto mine, making my heart melt under a lighter she ignited.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me.” I shrug her off.

“It’s Roulette, and you weren’t here to win me.”

“So, you slept with him?” I ask.

“We aren’t together. So, there are no rules to follow.”

Brittni put a leash around my neck and tossed me into a glass house, my every insecurity on display. There’s still a gaping wound and her betrayal leaves a metallic taste in my mouth. She’s a vampire, mentally draining me, and yet I still feel something for her.

“We should go somewhere else. You know, just the two of us.” She plays with my jersey and tugs me closer to her.

“Why? So the last guy’s sperm can lube you up?” I ask. Her nose wrinkles.

“No, because I miss us.” She brushes her blonde hair to the side. “I mean... I was thinking about you the entire time...”

What a load of crock. I woke up for the past three years, nine months, and twenty-four days to her voice as my alarm clock.

I kept over ten thousand texts, saved every chat in Snap, and adored her good morning messages.

She took a red-hot iron and held it against my heart when we split.

I started talking to the ceiling at night instead of midnight phone calls with her.

I’ve spent my entire summer ignoring her existence.

“Please...” she begs.

“Yeah, sure...” I sigh.

“Come on, let’s go grab a drink.”

“Okay.” I dip a hand into my pockets and walk alongside her down the stairs.

She grabs me a beer, then takes my index finger to drag me outside to the corner of the house.

It’s darker over here, yet the thick trees still create shadows.

The moonlight peers through the mixture of rolling clouds and I lean against the wall.

Brittni doesn’t hesitate to wedge herself between my legs and play with the seam of my jersey.

“So, what do you wanna talk about?” I ask, battling against the voice in my head that urges me to grab her hips and pull her in closer.

“I never got the chance to talk about that day.”

“You fucking Brody and me walking in? Yeah, maybe I don’t want to. And for good reasons.”

“Okay, but I can’t help but think you have a thing for your little sister’s friend.”

“Are we seriously having this conversation... again?”

“Every time you go home, she’s always there. You wouldn’t shut up about her transferring.”

“She’s my sister’s best friend. Are you out of your mind? You and your little friends gang up on her because you’re insecure. It’s obnoxious. Do us all a favor and leave her alone.”

I sigh and look down at my feet before she gets closer. “Sebastian.” She dips her head to the side, and her plump lips shine with gloss.

“You know I hate that name.”

“Oh stop, you liked it when I would say it when we... well...” She bites her bottom lip.

“It’s been over two months.” I shrug. “Why are we having this conversation?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at her, and all your Instagram posts with her in it.”

“What are you getting at?” I ask.

“You cheated first...”

“I cheated?” I laugh. Is she for real? Either I’ve gone insane or she just attempted to gaslight me.

“You had my whole damn heart and gave it all away the moment you hooked up with Brody. What do you want me to say? For better or for worse? You just got done letting someone else finish in you when you had me first. I’m not doing this Payton crap with you anymore. ”

“If she wasn’t in the picture, we would still be together. I walked in and she was sleeping in your bed, laying on top of you and... ugh, you never listen!”

“We were watching a movie... and Charlie was there. Nothing happened.” I shrug, not sure what to tell her because no matter what comes out of my mouth, she’s going to set me up as the villain, twist and flip it into whatever story she wants to believe.

“Look, I got really drunk. I don’t even remember anything that happened with Brody. I just want everything to go back to the way it was with you. We always work things out. I just want you back. Please, forgive me, give us another chance.”

The thought of it has slipped into my mind occasionally.

It tugs at my heartstrings. I’ve come to miss the late nights at a gas station grabbing Snickers ice cream bars with her and then making the windows fog up when we were in the back seat.

On the other hand, I can’t erase the nights I spent counting sheep because she was out drinking while I focused on upcoming exams.

The word mistake wasn’t written on her moans, begging Brody for more when I walked in.

She wanted it as much as he did, and they didn’t stop.

I can’t erase the fucker’s tighty-whities on the floor, or the pink bra she swore that she bought at Victoria’s Secret for only me to see, laying at the edge of his bed.

My true feelings spill from my tongue and I say, “You’re drunk and desperate.”

“Oh, come on, I’m not that bad.”

“So, you’re sober right now?” I ask, remembering why my heart is boarded up.

“Oh, and somehow you are?”

I laugh under my breath. She’s right. I’m not sober, I’m numb to the fact I fell for the girl I lost Dirty Roulette to when I should have known better.

She’s messy. We were always fighting. There would be nights she’d break up with me over some story her brain concocted, and she always accused me of flirting with other girls.

Accusing me of cheating on her with Payton was my last straw, and she keeps using it to justify her actions of cheating on me.

“I dunno if I can trust you again,” I say.

“I don’t want him. Do you really wanna throw away the three years we shared?”

“I dunno if I’m ready or if I’d try again. I need time to process everything and figure out what I want.”

“Well, maybe this will help you process.” Her eyes lock onto mine in a passionate gaze, reminding me of the surge of electricity we shared.

Her cold fingers brush against my cheeks as her lips meet mine in a tender kiss.

I melt with the taste of cherries on my tongue.

Her hand finds its way to my inner thigh, and she rubs me.

God damn it. My balls catch fire within seconds.

Dating Brittni turned me into an addict. Every night I wanted a piece of her. I loved having her soft pink nipples in my mouth and the way she’d blow me in the Jeep before class. I miss having empty balls. But that was all I had with her – sex, booze, and fighting.

Silence is all I can offer. I push her off and remember why I came here in the first place.

I need to find my sister and Payton. Plus, I’m better off with nothing but memories of Brittni’s face when I actually felt butterflies in my stomach.

I walk off, open the beer, and chug half of it.

Jared is preoccupied. He dragged himself into a game of beer pong with guys cheering.

When I head inside to the chaos, someone cuts right in front of me and leans over a trash can to hurl.

“You’re shitting me.” I weasel past him and head upstairs. Another door opens, and I watch Nick stumble out with a satisfied grin. A dark red substance coats his right hand and forearm. It’s still wet too.

“That white chocolate was worth it.” He fumbles on his feet, his dark eyes in a haze. I peek into the room and spot a girl passed out naked on the bed. “I gotta...” He hiccups. “I gotta work tomorrow.”

“Do you have a ride?” I ask.

“No man... I’m uhh... uhh, I’m gonna drive.” Nick hiccups.

“No... you’re not driving. Let me take you.”

“Alright...” He wobbles and sways back and forth, reeking of weed and sour booze.

“Where is my sister?” I ask. Nick lifts his right hand pointing to the door at the end of the hallway, but I stare at the dark maroon ooze all over his arm.

“Is that blood?”

“Uhh...” he brings his hand six inches from his face, studying it. “I dunno man...”

“Okay... meet me downstairs.” I pat him on the chest and slide past him.

The girl on the bed snores steadily, so I pull the cover up over her naked body smeared with period blood.

“Charlie?” I ask and then storm to the back room where he points.

The voices and laughing are loud. I jiggle the handle and it’s locked.

“Spin the bottle emo girl!”