Page 33 of Dirty Roulette

Chapter twenty-one

Ryder

Aflight attendant greets me as I step onto the aircraft.

People are slow as hell, blocking the aisle as they shove bags into the overhead compartments.

My tank is running on empty – I’m surviving with three hours of sleep and Red Bulls are fueling my bloodstream.

All I want is a bed to crash on after another midnight shift, but once we arrive and settle in at the hotel, we’ll have to head straight to the stadium for tonight’s game.

Coach still isn’t fully happy with Brody and I fighting.

I’ve been reminded constantly that if I make one wrong move, I’ll be benched.

While I get chewed into, Brody coaxes his way back into Coach's good graces, and I’m not surprised.

He’s strutting down the aisles, high-fiving all the players before finding his seat in the back.

Looking at the letters above the seats, I stop at G, then at Naomi by the window zipping her carry-on. Double-checking my ticket, I’m right next to her. Being rude is the last thing I want to come off as, but I’m cursing under my breath.

I throw the bag off my shoulder, and it thuds on the floor. They never make planes tall enough for someone over six feet, and I’m ducking as I plop down.

Payton hurries through the aisle with hands buried in the pockets of her green hoodie. Passengers hold up the line, and she stops next to me. Her tight ass is right in my view, and she radiates the warm scent of vanilla. She’s two rows behind me, and I’m wishing Naomi would trade spots.

Brittni trails down behind Payton. Her green eyes fixate on me.

Hard nubs poke out of the tight crop top and the acid-stained shorts ride up her tan legs.

My throat dries up. The way she dresses is an attempt to ensnare my attention.

She decides to put her luggage above my seat.

Her pierced belly button brushes against my face as she stands on her tiptoes with wedged sandals.

Any other chick I wouldn’t question the intentions of, but it’s her.

“Hurry up hoe!” Autumn squeals and nudges her with enough force to knock her off her feet. Brittni yelps and falls over the armrests, face-planting into my lap. Gravity is a bitch and her bag plummets to the floor. She’s heaving in a laugh as she sits up.

I clear my throat. “Do you need help?”

“I’d love that.” She grabs me between the thighs, and my junk is in the palm of her hands.

“You’re so sweet.” The words whisper into my ears.

“You should come hang out with me after the game.” She pecks me on the cheek before getting up.

I weasel out of the seat, and grab her bag, stowing it snugly.

I say nothing, but I swallow the acid skidding up my throat. She has me basking in regret of ever dating her. It’s like she gets off reminding me of her existence and I wish we never met.

Pissing Payton off seems to be on her bucket list, too.

“Oh, my god! You whore! Did you really grab his dick?” Autumn asks. She’s louder than the engines. “Girl, you gave him a boner!”

“Because he can’t get over me. Duh...”

My dick is limper than a soggy biscuit. Naomi cocks her head like a confused pigeon and eyeballs my crotch.

Pain lodges on Payton’s face as she leaps on her toes to push her bag into the overhead bins. Pretty light eyes roll at me, and she scoots to the window seat next to Nick. Yep, she heard them. I wanna get up and tell her they’re playing a twisted little game.

“Psst! Nick.” I motion him with a hand.

He lifts his chin over the rows of seats. “Switch me, dude,” I say.

Nick stands, peeking at who sits beside me, and he licks his lips, rubbing his hands together. “You next to my baby white chocolate? Hell yeah, switch me, brother.”

I snatch my bag, and we trade places.

When I sit next to Payton, the weight in my chest releases with one breath. I check the aisle again and spot the top of Charlie’s head. She can’t see us. Perfect.

Payton rolls up the window cover, glancing out.

It’s still dark, and it’s obvious she’s pissed at me for something I can’t control.

“Hey...” I remove the armrest, lean into her shoulder blade, and kiss the crease of her neck.

A sad smile molds on her face. “Don’t look at me like that.

” I nuzzle my nose against hers and run a hand along her velvet cheeks.

“Are we good?” I ask, with my forehead pinned against hers.

“I wish you would tell her to stop. It’s like you’re okay with her doing that.”

“I’m not okay with it... but I don’t want to make a scene in front of people on an airplane. I don’t want her.” I whisper. She pushes me away and does it in such a way it’s like my brain splatters all over the seat. “I can’t control what she decides to do... I’m sorry.”

“You don’t get it.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you were sorry, you’d get her to stop.

It’s like the conversation the other night didn’t happen.

” She combs a hand through her hair, shaking her head as she stares at the ceiling.

“I wish you were over her. It’s all over your face how much pain she put you through.

” Her eyes are distant and fall outside to the blinking red lights in the distance.

“Where is this all coming from?” I ask, watching her bite her bottom lip, shaking her head.

“I tried talking to you about this. I can’t just say I’m fine with what happened between me and her, but I know I don’t want her.

I want you, but...” I swallow the emotion down my throat, and it buries its sharp teeth into my lungs.

She’s decoding the combination of a million locks I’m barricaded in.

“But what?” She asks.

“When you and Charlie argued about the hickey it really bothered me. I can’t deal with the drama. You gotta tell her.”

She scrunches up her nose. Reaching a hand up, she twists the nozzle for cool air. It hisses as she adjusts it. “I can’t.”

“What do you want, then? You wanna just hook up and end it? Do you wanna date me, be my girlfriend? What do you want?”

“I dunno...” She gnashes her teeth.

“If you don’t know, then why are you upset about what Brittni does?” I ask but she shrugs. “Talk to me.” I’m begging at this point. It’s in my chest and her pushing away hurts worse than Brittni, flaunting what I’ve lost. Now Payton is slipping from my grip and it fills my heart with thorns.

“I don’t want to lose you or Charlie, but no matter what, I’m going to lose both of you.” She admits.

“Who says you’re going to lose me?”

She shrugs with the biggest pout. “The universe, I dunno.”

“I told you, before. Be with me.”

“Stop.” She bites her bottom lip.

I push a strand of her soft black hair over her ear and say, “No. Because I don’t want to lose you either.”

Her eyes dart all over my face, and she pecks me on the lips. A hint of mint meets my taste buds. I fasten my eyes, fisting a handful of her hair, and pour myself in. Our lips lap together. For six seconds, she melts into me. She plunges her tongue onto the roof of my mouth.

If people are made from clay and came from sheer dust on Earth, then Payton came from soft grains of beach sand. I’m weak as a moth, and the mere touch of her breaks my wings.

“We’ll need you to put the armrest back down and buckle up sir,” The flight attendant says to me.

Payton takes a fistful of my shirt and pushes away with cheeks flushed. “Oh shit, yeah, sorry.” I grab the seat belt, loosening it as I buckle myself. Another flight assistant walks by, closing the overhead compartments.

The ding of the seatbelt sign echoes through the airplane, and the pilot comes on over the intercom. We pulled out of the terminal soon after the flight attendant demonstrated safety procedures. Payton grips the armrest so hard I’m surprised her finger bones don’t bust through.

“Nervous?” I lean into her ears.

“I’ve never flown before.” Out the tiny window, a man in a yellow jacket signals the plane.

“Oh, it’s your first time, huh?” I ask.

“Shut up.” She coughs up a laugh mixed with the sadness lingering. We watch the plane follow the red and blue lights on the runway.

“You’ve never flown anywhere?” I ask.

“No. It’s not like my Mum has money for vacations.” She’s glued to the tiny window, with her nose almost sliding against it.

“Guess we are going to pop that cherry, then.”

We come to a full halt. “Why are we stopping?” She asks.

“It’s the calm before the storm.”

Payton grabs my hand, her nails dig into my palms. The roar of the engines fires up, and she gasps. The plane accelerates, and the force pushes her head into the seat. She slams the window shut and falls to my shoulder, covering up her eyes. “Oh my god! Tell me when it’s over!”

Once we are in the air, we don’t speak much. She uses my shoulder as a pillow and plays with my hand, interlocking our fingers.

Items jiggle in the beverage cart, and I take a coffee and Payton snags a soda and snack. At some point during the three-hour flight, I dozed off with my head resting on hers. I fall in and out of sleep and her arms wrap around my chest. She’s cute when she snores.

I’ve tried to do the boyfriend thing since I dragged her out of the hot tub.

Before class and practice, I make the effort to peck her on the forehead.

We ate lunch together at the dining halls and I’d help her with her algebra.

Payton’s eyes begged me to kiss her on the lips, and I wanted to.

I only fight the urge because she wants to keep everything on the down low.

Charlie would lift a brow and pucker her lips at us. The arms would cross, and she’d flash us a dirty look with a resting bitch face.

It’s written on her face.

The jig is up, and she’s waiting for us to slip. If Payton told her the truth, life would be easier. Payton would be my girl, and I could try this love thing again. There would be no reason to sneak around and hide.