Page 74 of Dirty Roulette

Chapter fifty-four

Ryder

May came quicker than I expected. I walk across the grass of the courtyard, dandelions litter and invade every square inch of the place like an army. The cool spring air washes over my face. The sunlight dances between the leaves of every tree.

I bought flowers for Charlie. Weird, I know, but she’s hopping on a tour bus and I’m not sure when I’ll see her again. I’ll miss her yelling in my ears or storming in my room to bitch at me for something I did wrong.

I plant myself down on a bench shadowed over by a thick tree and take off the graduation cap.

Today, I’ll walk across a stage with a Masters Degree.

My sister, my mom, and Payton will all be there.

What they don’t know yet is that I’m the one speaking to the entire graduating class, and I’m planning to tell the world I’m in love with the girl I grew up with.

There is a plop on the other side of the wooden bench and Charlie throws the strap of her purse off the edge of the wood.

“Hey...” I say and hold out the bouquet. A brief smile perks up on her lips as she takes them. The plastic wrap crinkles in her fingers as she sniffs them.

Charlie hasn’t been fully the same since that head injury. Sometimes she slurs her words, other days she is an emotional roller coaster. There are days I catch myself staring at the scar on her head, and it’s a brittle ache inside my chest.

She was never really the type to be depressed and instead of her dragging Payton out of bed, we’ve had to help her.

Memory has been her biggest issue. There are fragments of our lives she can’t fully remember, and trying a few classes this semester was especially difficult, but she managed to pass all of them.

The only good thing is that she doesn’t seem to remember what Brody did at the concert.

“Did you sign your contract yet?” She asks, touching the soft petals of the roses. “I’m still trying to process the Rams picking you up.”

“Yeah,” I say, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “You should have seen the look on Payton’s face when my picture showed up on the big screen. Second round too. I think she was more excited than me. Kinda wish you were there last week.”

“You’re taking her with you, right?” Charlie asks, her eyes staring into the distance.

“Yes, don’t worry, Payton is coming too. She’s transferring to UCLA, and no, she’s not allowed to stay in the dorms. She’ll be with me.”

The dream of being a famous football player didn’t die.

Someone up in the sky decided to listen.

I’ve been handed everything I ever wanted.

Winning the national championship put eyes on everyone on our team.

Coaches from across the country liked hearing my story – how our team was continuously hazed, how I stood up for my sister and Payton, and finally standing my ground against Brody’s Roulette.

I rebuilt my faith, and after every touchdown, I thanked the man up above.

The media ate me up, displaying dozens of video clips of me showing off my cross, and the black eye quotes I painted on my face.

Never once did I really think I would be selected out of the handful of players, but someone thought highly of me.

“I never really got a chance to thank you.” Charlie turns to me. “What you two did for me on that field, I don’t know how you guys did it, but thank you.”

I wipe my nose. The damn flowers blooming on every tree are flaring up allergies I didn’t ask for. “No one fucks with my baby sister.”

“Wanna know something weird?” she asks and shakes her head with a brittle laugh.

“What’s that?”

“When I was a kid, we’d go to church and everyone would bend a knee. I prayed for Payton to one day be my sister. Stupid right?”

“Seriously?” I laugh, and lean over with my elbows resting on my knees.

“God couldn’t really make her into my sister, but I knew she liked you a lot, and I mean a lot since eighth grade.

She didn’t date anyone, and trust me, the opportunities were there, but she’d always say no.

I just don’t think she understood her feelings toward you, and when you started dating Brittni, it was really hard to get her out of her slump.

The second she knew you were coming down to visit, she’d be the happiest camper.

” Charlie tilts her head, her cheeks perking up as she admires the flowers.

“I’m not sure if I can believe it was preordained.

It was kinda out of this world for me to walk in the second the bottle stopped.

I almost took Brittni back that night too.

..” The wind picks up, the leaves rustle in the trees above, and the flapping of the American flag fights against the wind in the distance.

“It took every ounce of strength in me not to take her back that night and fall into being miserable with her. I walked away from her at the perfect time.”

“If you took her back, you’d be lying in a casket. She’s fucking insane.”

“I’m sorry for what she did to you.”

“Better me than Payton. If the roles were reversed, she would be dead. Last night I had a memory pop up from the concert.”

“You finally remember something?”

"Yeah…" Charlie picks up the one red rose in the bouquet. The petals are vibrant, like the blood running through my veins. “I was playing roulette too, and I finally told Brody no. But umm… I’m just glad that it was you Payton landed on. She loves you.”

I exhale the pressure lodged in my lungs, my eyes watering, and I suck it back in and wipe my face. “Sometimes I think landing on her was God’s way of humoring me.”

“He’s got a weird sense of humor...” She hands over the single rose to me.

I grasp it as Charlie dips a hand into her front jean pocket, digging around.

“Here, I have something else for you.” When she pulls it out, it’s a little red velvet ring box, and I recognize it.

“Stop hiding grandma’s ring in your sock drawer. ”

A harsh gust of wind meets my back, blowing the hundreds of dandelions from the grass. The seeds float in the air dancing in the sky. Payton is sweetly invasive like the dandelions, and there is no way I’ll ever get rid of her.

“You better hurry up, heifer!”