Page 16 of Dirty Roulette

He throws my wrists down and wipes his bloody nose with the back of his hand. “Come on, Trash... All you gotta do is put out for me. I thought maybe you needed a little encouragement.”

“You can’t keep dangling my virginity over my head like it’s a trophy to be won!”

A hand grabs my upper arm and pulls me out of the hot shower. I’m sopping wet, dripping from head to toe. My eyes blur with tears as I look up at Ryder in a pair of gray sweatpants and dripping wet hair. His mouth sets in a grim line, jaw tense.

Brody mops his brow. “Of course Crab came to save your ass!” He steps out of the shower, snatches the towel hanging on the rusty rack, and wraps it around his waist. I claw off Ryder’s grip and shove all my strength to push Brody.

“You’re insane!” His foot slips, and he stumbles back into the towel rack. Men in the locker room tip-toe over, running towels through their hair with those side smirks I want to smack off their faces.

“Okay, we are done. Stop!” Ryder wraps his arms around my torso, pulling me back. I’m digging my claws into his hands. “Stop! It’s not worth it!” Ryder shouts.

“Let me go!” My throat tangles in a knot and I scream, spit flying out of my mouth.

Brody scoffs, and a cunning smile creeps onto his face. “I bet with how much time you spend with this prick, you’ve been fucking him all along.”

“You’re a piece of shit!” I scream.

“Jesus Christ!” Ryder lifts me up in the air, my feet kicking up and down. “Quit it!” He hauls me from the chaos into another part of the locker room.

“What the hell is going on in here?” The football coach comes storming in, yells at the boys to leave, and voices drown out.

“Shh...” Ryder pins me against one of the lockers with a finger pressed to my lips.

“Calm down.” He whispers. I lean against the cold metal with shoelaces and papers hanging out of the locker slits.

Teardrops stain my cheeks at the realization of what I’ve done.

Mascara runs off my hand when I wipe my face.

I peek over the rows of lockers and watch the coach cross his arms. “What the hell happened this time?” he asks.

Brody shakes off the coach’s grip. “Nothing.” He leaves my eyesight, and I hear a locker jimmying open. “It’s just crazy ex-girlfriend drama,” Brody says. I spot his white towel stained with blood lying on the floor and my heart picks up its pace.

“Have you been drinking again?”

Brody scoffs. “No!”

“The board specifically told you if we catch you drinking on school grounds, you will be benched. This is your last year. The fun and games are over. The NFL ain’t gonna play around.”

The coach turns his head in my direction when Brody’s eyes stray over to mine. I gasp and plant myself against the metal once more.

“Who’s over there?” Coach calls out.

I mouth shit and Ryder quickly covers my lips with his hand.

“Just me, Coach.” Ryder waves his other hand.

“Hurry your ass up and get out!”

“Yes, Coach,” Ryder replies. His hand is still covering my mouth as I stare up into his eyes. He winks and I melt further into his touch as his sly smile molds over his face again, and I catch a glimpse of his dimples. The same trademark he shares with Charlie.

“Cut the bull, Thomas, or I’m benching you on the first game.”

“It’s not like you’re doing your job anyway,” Brody interrupts. “My dad ain’t giving you money for you to sit on. I’m done with you protecting that nut-gobbling running back!”

“Watch your mouth!” Coach snaps.

“Write an incident report. I don’t give two shits.”

Coach lets out a cocky laugh that fills the locker room. “Hurry up and get out.”

“Whatever, Coach.”

I’m cemented to the locker wall, palms sticky on the cold metal. I peek over again watching Coach leave while his New Balance shoes squeak against the wet tile floor. Brody wipes his bloody nose and shuffles his bag over a shoulder after dressing.

“This ain’t over, Crab!” Footsteps echo across the empty locker room, and my heart plummets further into my stomach as he leaves.

I hate Brody. There is no way I can handle college if this is going to be my first day.

I clench my fists and make a break for it, slipping from Ryder’s hold.

He chases after me and cuts me off before I can reach the door.. “Whoa... whoa... wait.” He runs an arm over my shoulder and pulls me back into the row of lockers. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what happened.”

“I’m not your sister.” I sniffle and cross my arms around my chest. “I don’t need you to save me.” A thousand knives pierce through my skin saying it. I bang the back of my head against the lockers repeatedly until my eye sockets combust all over again.

“Talk to me!”

“I can handle myself.” I want to curl into a ball and hide. Someone spare me from Newton’s third law because there is always an equal and opposite reaction to everything you do in life.

“And the lie detector test says...” Ryder mimics Maury. Someone shoot me, please. Make him shut up for one second so I can process what happened.

“Fine...” I slap my waist with my hands. “You wanna know? I got the video he took.”

Ryder shudders his locker open and pulls a white shirt over his head. “And...”

“I’m naked and stupid, and I did that thing on your leg... and... I’m mortified, okay! I’ve never acted so... so... disgusting in my entire life,” I say and shove my feelings about him into that imaginary box where it belongs.

“I don’t think that,” he says with a smile lifting up on one side. “I kinda enjoyed it.”

I flush from hot to cold with the remark. “Great, so you’re just like every other guy!”

“Did you like it?” he asks, his head tilted with lips pressed together.

No... Okay, maybe... Scratch that. I haven’t been able to wipe my memory clean of him.

There isn’t a virus that can overthrow the motherboard of my brain.

I did like kissing him. I liked his callused hands on my hips, in my hair and touching my.

.. good lord, I think my face turned red and he’s waiting for a response. “Umm...”

Ryder chuckles.“You know you got some real balls?” He changes the subject. “It’s not every day a girl comes storming into the locker room to punch the sleaze of GCU.”

“And?” I raise my eyebrow, feeling my eyes dry up. Now I’m left with the uncomfortable sensation of my skin tightening around the stains of my tears.

“He gets away with everything and that’ll never change. His dad owns this campus.” Each word from his lips digs into my heart like razor-sharp thorns. I feel guilty for even attempting to stand up for myself.

“So it doesn’t matter. Now what? I get expelled?” A horrifying image of the dean manifests. Screaming, spitting at me, and my mother dragging me off campus grounds.

This is worse than when my pants ripped down the center of my ass.

I showed off hot pink granny underwear for hours until Ryder wrapped a hoodie around my waist. What’s more deflating, is that I can’t lean on Charlie without her making me feel crummier about myself by exposing I french kissed her brother, tongue and all.

“Hey, stop, don’t cry.” Ryder grasps onto one of my shoulders, rubbing them with rough thumbs. I glance up, the urge to kiss him makes my mouth water, and my entire body burns. “I doubt it, and if he’s gonna snitch, he would’ve told Coach.”

I suck in a deep breath. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s going to be okay.”

Ryder pulls a black shirt and basketball shorts from his locker. “They’re clean, I promise.” He tosses them to me, and I notice the red swelling on my knuckles and bits of dried blood. Each beat of my heart makes the exposed skin throb.

“Thanks.” I slump down to the wooden bench and wriggle the soaked shirt over my head. It tumbles to the floor with a plop.

I feel Ryder’s eyes on me. When I meet his line of vision he swallows, running a hand over his face and turns his head away. “You’re gorgeous.” He drops the bomb and my heart quits working. He runs a hand through his dark hair, “Sorry... I shouldn’t have said anything,” he says.