Page 12 of Dirty Roulette

Charlie and I race one another into the record store.

It carries a nostalgic aura of different musical generations.

My soul hurts as if I missed the true era I belong to.

Devil horns consume the entire store. Peace signs, weed, millions of Bob Marley posters, and the hint of Black Sabbath. I could live here.

Old books and dust are heavy in the air. Looming tobacco residue stains the moldy carpets. The place has suffered its fair share of abuse from countless souls who died centuries ago. It’s pretty cool to scroll through the different vinyl records.

One day I’ll get a record player, but right now the necessities are underground tasty metal artists. New beats are an imperative need for my survival. I’m sure whatever I discover will be better than listening to the boring lectures I’ll soon endure.

I walk my fingers over the plastic grooves on the CD cases, scanning each album cover. Now and then, I’ll uncover a lost gem. Countless underground bands from the mid-nineties need some loving ears and mine beg for a new verse.

“Drake’s pretty good,” a guy behind me mentions. His voice is sultry. He retrieves a Drake album from where they’re hidden and pulls one out. I glance up and it’s Noah with his long hair fastened in a bun.

“It’s on sale for seven ninety-nine, plus tax, your soul, and it’ll potentially skip.” He passes the album with two fingers. I look at the rapper’s songs, then glare back at him. His hands sit in the pockets of his black skinny jeans covered in chains and bondage straps.

“Let me guess, your favorite song is Hotline Bling?” I ask with a chuckle escaping as I read the list of horror music.

“Wu-Tang Forever.”

I drop my arms to my sides and scoff.

“You’re messing with me.” I shake my head, eyeballing his angst-goth look. “You’re wearing a Black Sabbath sweatshirt,” I point and hand the CD back with no remorse.

“You’re missing out.”

“I doubt that...” I say. It’s quiet for several long seconds and it slips out. “Are you okay? Last night was a bit crazy.”

“Yeah, I had a good time until... well...” He raises his brow and pauses. I don’t press the question as I rock on my heels. Ryder plays the role of an older brother well. Everyone knows his name, and once a guy realizes he’s Charlie’s brother, they act like a cat who got jump-scared and run off.

“You could have at least suggested Fall Out Boy.”

“How about Bow Wow? Sounds like it would fit a cheerleader.”

What a prick. I might wear spandex, but I’m not a stupid girl. “Are you saying cheerleaders don’t have taste?”

He bounces up and down with the stupidest smile, pretending to have pom-poms in his hands.

“I don’t look like that. GCU gave me a four-year scholarship if I show off at football games.”

“How nice of them.” He’s snooty. Sounds like someone needs to bruise his ego a bit more.

Charlie peeks over merchandise from the other side of the display racks. “Don’t you have a Malibu beach party to go to with your band?”

His stormy, angular eyes admire Charlie. “Oh, it’s you.” His expressionless flat lips lift a moment but drop as fast as they appeared.

“Don’t act all surprised,” she says.

“I didn’t think you’d swing by. Is your brother going to come in here too?” He cocks up his eyebrows with the remark.

“Look...” Charlie’s shoulders sag with a huff. “You can’t be mad at me for him being an overprotective asshole.”

Noah swallows. “I really don’t want to talk in front of your friend.”

“I’ll just... check out another section,” I point behind me and stroll off to a rack on a different side of the store with ears wide open.

He whispers, “I only came to that party for you.” In my peripherals, Charlie stares out into space and not directly at him, but when Noah sees me eavesdropping I avert my head. “You can’t lead me on just to get back at your ex.”

“That’s not what I did,” she argues.

“That’s bullshit. I played your stupid game and when it came down to it, you don’t want more with me. I should have known better. I’m not the type of guy who’s good enough for you.”

Charlie sighs. “That’s not true... I do.”

“You’ve been hounding my phone all day and you show up here knowing I have to run the store.”

I finger through the CDs and skim the different artists. I’m not even invested in the country genre I randomly selected.

“I do like you.”

“Then actually let go of that guy and be with me. I’m not pretending. I like you... a lot.”

“I know.”

I’m tired of their emotionally damaging conversation and head to classic rock to pick out a Rolling Stones album.

Charlie has a bad habit of leading on guys and dropping them when she gets a spark of emotional attachment.

I honestly feel terribly for Noah. She’ll drag his heart through the mud.

The one guy she let sink in was Brody. But any girl would die to be with a guy in consideration of the NFL draft, plus he’s a senior.

I tip-toe back over with the album in hand, staring at the sticker price tag.

“Here, take the tickets. The band has a chance of getting scouted. You should come,” Noah says.

“I found something,” I cut into their conversation and wave the album around. My awkward smile and weird giggle slip out.

“Yeah...” Noah nodded.

“I was meaning to ask... where did you guys meet?” I ask.

Noah’s face went flat, and he raised a brow. “I caught her red-handed drawing Jesus holding a penis in the bathroom...at church...”

“You crashed the girl’s bathroom, and I’m the sinner.” Charlie puckers her lips. “Please, you need confession more than me.” She teases, folds up the tickets, and places them in a pocket of her purse.

“You still go to church?” I ask.

“Sunday nights. You’ve missed out.”

“Huh... I didn’t know.”

“Mom’s been dragging me all summer. She’s honestly trying to get over Dad.”

“I get that.”

Noah rubs the tip of his nose with a hand. “I help the band at church services. Gramps over there makes me.” He dips his head at the old man, shuffling behind a glass display case.

I notice some gnarly bruises on the old man’s arms. His skin is overstretched like an abused rubber band and he wheezes. My heart sinks further. I don’t think it is even in my chest anymore.

“Your grandad works?” I ask.

“Yeah, I help him run the store,” Noah says. I tilt my head as the sweet man is checking out a customer. His hands shake, handling the money given to him.

“We live in the apartment upstairs, so I’m always here,” Noah says.

“Where are your parents?”

Noah shrugs, and I think I hit a sensitive topic with the sadness laced in his eyes. “Fuck if I know. He’s all I got.”

“Oh...” I say.

“We all got Daddy issues.” He lifts his eyebrows and his lips are flat. “Well, I’m going to help my grandpa. I’ll ring you up.”

“Yeah... yeah, thanks.” I say and head to the register, unfolding some crumpled bills to pay.

Charlie flips her hair across a shoulder, and we walk down the rows of records to the front door covered in layers of tape and flyers. I glance back one more time, and Noah flashes a peace sign. He strolls to his Gramps and helps him sit in a comfy chair.

We leave and head down the sidewalk to her mom’s beaten-up Honda. She’s supposed to release the title to Charlie, but can’t find the time of day to ever take her to the DMV.

“He’s a nice guy...” I open the passenger door and slide into the stench of cigarettes and musk of old man cologne.

“Well, he’s like every other dude out there. He wants to shove his dick in me.”

“He’s taking care of his grandad. That doesn’t scream, I wanna bang every chick in sight.” I scoff at her pure blindness. The guy is actually human with some sensibility and isn’t self-absorbed.

“Maybe... I dunno.”

I blink in astonished silence. “Seriously?”

“I dunno how I feel about him, okay? Out of all the things I did with Brody, Noah...”

“Noah what?”

“Okay, do you promise not to laugh?”

“Oh my god, what?”

She runs her fingers over her face and then places her hands on the steering wheel.

“Every time Brody and I would do something... I really don’t think he knows what he’s doing.

It’s always yeah baby, you like that, yeah you like that.

” She mimics a deep voice with a stupid laugh.

I grin at the irony. He isn’t amazing after all.

“So, it was a fake-it-until-you-make-it?” I wiggle my brows.

“Yeah, and I’d give him a hand job and be done with it.”

“Go on... Spill the tea.”

“But Noah… we’ve been messing around and he gave me my first orgasm ever. Holy hell, I was legit in heaven. I can’t even describe it.” She leans into the headrest and groans.

“Oh yeah...” I cover my face with a hand to hide my giggles.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh.” She pushes me on the shoulder.

I hold up my hands in innocence. “I’m not. Just don’t hurt him like all the other guys you dump through a text.”

“Well, I’m not ready to jump the gun with him. I’d sleep with him. I’m just not into any commitment and doing the whole jealous bull again. I watched that crap all the time with Brittni and Ryder. Oh my god! I didn’t tell you. She came over after you left.”

My heart drops at the syllables that spell out her name. “Brittni came over?” My mouth burns dry and then is saturated with saliva. I’m suddenly sick to my stomach, wanting to open the car door and vomit.

“They went into his bedroom together. I’m praying to God they aren’t patching things up because they were in there a long time,” she babbles on.

I’m silent and swallow hard. I’m well aware the smile on my face melted off.

My soul leaves my body, and I’m looking down at it from above.

“I dunno why he would, anyway. If he does, he’s an idiot.

You saw him this summer. He went on some Madden binge for a week straight,” she says.

“Yeah...”

“What’s wrong?” She asks. I pull the seat belt over my chest and click it into place. My palms get sweaty holding the album I bought, and I stare at it long and hard. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No...”

“You’re acting weird.”