Page 50 of Dirty Roulette

Chapter thirty-four

Ryder

Payton tightens her grip on the front door before glancing back at me. The feral hunger to light another joint crawls its way into my head. I don’t know how Payton is standing. I’m so heavy I could fall through the Earth. I’d do anything to numb everything racing inside me.

I wait because at any second she’ll tell me this is wrong and we should try to make things work, but I know this isn’t healthy either.

We can’t pull each other’s heartstrings while also nailing each other’s hearts to the floor.

Her bloodshot eyes burn a hole into mine, her lips tremble like she has something to say.

I’m choked up – actual tears pooling down my face, and I haven’t cried since I was a kid.

Something behind her watering eyes tells me she feels it too.

The regret pouring over us. Payton bites down on her lip, and the glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes hardens into something else.

“If that’s what you think is best. I guess... goodbye,” she says.

“Bye.”

She opens the front door and I’m blasted with frigid air and the aroma of incoming rain. She’s gone in seconds, and I feel like I’m melting into the floor. Everything sinks in all at once.

The shit show with Brittni.

And Brody.

Fucking Brody... I bite down on my tongue and stop myself from going down that black hole. But the thought I might have killed him digs my grave.

I crumble onto the couch, staring at the dark blue light trickling in through the blinds. The sun will be up in about half an hour.

The living room is trashed. Empty chip bags are crumbled on the coffee table, beer cans litter the floor, and pizza boxes pile up. There’s a condom wrapper on the carpet. I’m functioning on zero sleep, and my mistakes drills into the center of my conscience. I lay in silence, closing my eyes.

Endless thoughts race through my head, even when I try to fall asleep. When they become unbearable, it jerks me wide awake. I groan, but shift on the couch to get comfortable again. I take a deep breath, mad that I was almost asleep.

“Why can’t I fall asleep?” I open my eyes, clenching my fists together.

I roll over again. Huffing and crossing my arms. My head runs a marathon, and if I were able to, I’d jump in front of a train to get it to shut up.

My thoughts point speakers straight into my eardrums, not daring to shut off the microphone for a second.

I blacked out when I saw Brody... I can’t even think of the words... him holding her waist, and doing what he does best – ruining everyone’s life just to get off. That’s it. It’s all I remember besides snapping out of it and then the blood on my hands, Charlie sobbing, and Brody’s face all bloody.

I think I killed him. My brain convinces me I murdered him. And instead of going to the hospital like a normal human being, what did I do? I went home.

Footsteps creek down the hallway, and Jared emerges in his boxers. “Dude, where did you go? We had two girls over just going nuts on my dick...” He shuffles to the kitchen, opens the cupboards, pulling out the container of coffee.

“Congratulations...”

“You still pissy?”

“I don’t want to talk about it...”

Coffee gurgles as Jared leans on the counter, staring as it fills the pot.

“DUDE!” Nick comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his sudsy waist. The shower hammering in the background. He holds his phone up to Jared. “Brody’s in the hospital.”

“Shit...” I mutter out and sit up.

Jared snatches the phone and scrolls with a thumb. I watch as his eyebrows crash in the middle, before he fixates on me with a disturbing look. My bloody knuckles speak the truth. I don’t want to talk about it. There is no sugarcoating it. I put him in the hospital.

I’m done. No football, no future other than an aggravated assault, which I know will be a felony right on my lap with a prison cell.

“What happened, dude?” Jared asks.

“Oh shit, man...” Nick’s eyes bulge out of their sockets. I stare down at my knuckles, biting the inside of my cheeks until they bleed.

The words queued up in my throat. “He raped my sister...” I cover my face with a hand, slumping back onto the couch. Bile rolls in my stomach and I think I might vomit.

“Dude... okay... we need to go to the cops. Take Charlie down there, and they will see it as self-defense,” Jared says.

“I just went to go find Payton... I got into it with Brittni, telling her I was just done with her shit and realized...” I sob like a god-damn baby.

“Realized what?” Jared asks, brows furrow as he sits down on the lounge chair. He leans over, his arms resting on his knees.

“I love Payt, and I... fuck... I’m so stupid...”

Nick swallows hard, his tongue rolling over his top teeth, nodding his head. “Bro...”

“I went down there to tell her... they were both drugged and I... Charlie was screaming at Brody to get off, and... I lost it, I fucking lost it... I fled. I thought I killed him.”

“His face is pretty messed up, but he’s alive dude...” Nick steps over with the phone in his hand. I vaguely see the pictures of blood and stitches.

“Where is Charlie?” Jared runs both hands through his disheveled hair.

“She jumped out of the Jeep...”

“You let her leave?” Nick paces back and forth, rubbing the back of his neck. “What the hell, man!”

“Okay, dude...” Jared’s eyes dart across the floor as he wipes the edges of his lips. “I think you’d have self-defense on your side. The cops are gonna be pissed you left, but you were protecting your sister.”

“No, it will be battery. I’m heading straight to prison.”

Nick huffs. “Shut up man.” He holds his towel tightly around his waist. “We just need to go find Charlie and we’ll go to the hospital and call the cops. Tell them the truth, and everything will be fine.”

“Nick, finish your shower and chill out. We’re gonna figure this out,” Jared says with a huff. I almost believe him.

***

Jared drives. I slouch in the back seat where the windows are tinted, and I’m nothing but a silhouette to each car passing by. Every ten minutes, I call Charlie’s phone only for it to go to voicemail. The dread makes me feel like I’m drowning.

There hasn’t been any activity on her social media in the past eight hours either. She’s always scrolling and posting pictures every day. Social media is her diary for everyone to read.

Nausea froths in my mouth, sending her message after message, leaving her voicemails begging her to call me.

We checked my home first. Mom is drugged up on different antidepressants and is so out of it she didn’t realize anything had happened.

It spared me the agony of having to tell her I’ll rot in jail, and she’ll need to find her own way of paying the bills because I can’t.

A thready pulse made my blood violent in my veins.

Jared parks in front of Cheer Phi’s Sorority.

He unbuckles, gets out of the car, and walks up the porch steps.

Brittni answers the door with arms crossed and rolls her eyes within seconds.

She’s acting bitchy as usual, waving him off and slamming the door in his face.

With hands falling into his pockets, he comes back to the car plopping down in the seat. The annoying ping of the car beeps non-stop until he slams the door shut.

“She’s not there...” Jared releases a heavy breath and looks at me through the rearview mirror with a levied glare. “Do you know where her boyfriend lives?” he asks.

I pull out my cell, looking through previous locations I plugged in when delivering pizzas. It takes me a few minutes to find the correct date, scrolling through the history.

“Here...” I show him the address, and he types it into his phone before we pull out.

While he drives, I try again to call Charlie. It still does the same thing. It goes straight to voicemail. Numbness crawls all over my skin, and it’s starting to sink in that there is something seriously wrong. Fear clamps my heart, pulling it right out of my chest.

In another ten minutes we roll up to the house and the garage door is open with musical instruments hoarding every inch of the place. This time, I get out of the car and dip my hands into my pockets. Muscles in my legs burn, going rigid as I reach the front door and the doorbell stares at me.

I drown my lungs with air. The small relief it grants me when I breathe out disintegrates the minute I press an index finger on the bell. The sound echoes through the house. Shadows move in the window, getting closer as someone answers the door.

It’s not Noah, who I was also hoping to see. Or Charlie telling me to piss off, hit me, beat the living daylights out of me. No, it’s another guy with a man bun giving me a death glare through the screen door.

“I’m not interested in finding Jesus, man.”

I shake my head and wipe off the remark. “I’m looking for my sister.”

“Your sister... there aren't any chicks here buddy.”

“Charlie! You know who my sister is. She’s all over Noah’s nuts. Have you seen her?” I ask.

“Oh...” He hisses out a breath. “The chick who broke up with him before we went on stage. No, I haven’t seen her.”

My mouth waters and everything sinks in my stomach. “Can you call Noah and ask if he’s seen her?”

He licks his lips with an annoyed eye roll. “Look, man...”

“Please... I don’t know where she is.”

“Okay, hold on.” He disappears into the dim house. Cool air floods out of the door as I stand there with pain hurting like hell traveling in all directions in my body.

The guy comes back, his phone in his hand. He unlocks the screen door, stepping out. Noah’s name is on the cellphone. “Here...” The guy hands it over and leans against the brick wall with arms crossed.

“Hey...” I swallow hard.

“What’s going on?” Noah asks on the other end.

“I dunno where Charlie is.”

He is quiet on the other end, the sound of his breath inhales in the speaker. “I haven’t heard from her since last night. She dumped me, something about me not being the right fit for her. She called me half a dozen times last night, but right now I don’t want to talk to her. I need some space.”

“Did you see her after the concert? Anything?”

“No, she came with her asshole ex-boyfriend. Why would she come see me?”

At this point, I think my stomach is bleeding. It hurts so bad. “Brody... umm.” My tongue is an unnecessary accessory that can’t do its damn job.

“What?”

“He raped her last night. She screamed she wanted you and she jumped out of my Jeep. I should have just gone after her, but...”

“You’re a shitty brother?” He snaps, and I go limp, and it’s like he hammered nails into my wrists.

“Fuck you, man. Clearly, you were a shitty-ass boyfriend.”

“I haven’t seen her... I dunno what you want me to say. I gotta go...”

“If you hear from her, can you please let me know?” I ask, regret eating at my flesh like I’m a dead carcass and maggots are burrowing holes through every inch of me.

“Yeah... I’ll let her know to reach out.” The phone call ends. His friend presses his lips into a fine line of bitterness, and it rubs off on me the wrong way. I hand over the phone, and he slips it into the back pocket of his skinny jeans.

“Sorry about your sister, dude,” he says, his eyes staring down at the gravel and weeds decorating the front yard. “I’m sure she’ll turn up. Have you tried calling the hospital? There were paramedics at the concert. Quite a few people passed out and that one dude got the shit beat out of him.”

I throw up my palms showcasing my knuckles. “I know.”

“Whoa...” he says, blinking at the bruises like it’s some sort of surprise. “Man...”

“That’s the dude who raped her...”

“Yeah... call the hospital... she’s probably there.” He steps back into the house.

“Thanks,” I say as he closes the door and I walk down the concrete, staring at the weeds peeking out of the cracks.

I slip back into the car. Jared’s hands on the wheel.

“Any luck?” he asks.

“No. I’m gonna call the hospital.” I scroll through my phone, looking at the numbers until I find the correct one.

They put me on hold for several long minutes to speak to a representative.

The worst type of music plays on the line as I wait.

The time on the screen turns from three minutes to fifteen easily.

“Sorry for the wait. Can I help you?” A lady finally answers.

“I’m looking for my sister. I dunno if she checked in there.”

A keyboard clicks in the background. “What’s her name?” The phone shuffles.

“Charlotte Henderson.” Typing continues, and she breathes on the phone, huffing. She’s reading names in a whisper. The dread plummets to the pit of my stomach. The voice in my head telling me she wasn’t there.

“Yeah, no one has checked in with that name, sir.”

“Okay...”

“I’m sorry. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Are there any other hospitals or any other medical facilities she might have gone to for an emergency?”

“We are the only hospital in a fifty-mile radius.”

“Right... yeah.”

“Is everything okay? Would you like me to connect you to law enforcement?”

Jared gives me the look, nodding his head, but I dismiss him. “No... It’s fine. Thanks...” I hang up the phone.

“FUCK!” I bellow out, slamming my head into the back seat. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”