Page 77 of Darling

“Millions, he said.”

“Were you tempted?”

“I told him to get fucked.”

“Oh, he should be so lucky.” Christian laughs.

I eat a few more deliciously sodden slices of toast, a strip of bacon, some scrambled egg, and wash it all down with my lukewarm coffee.

“Stephen works for a man called Adrian Brooke,” Christian says at last. “Adrian is quite an important man back in London—he works for the Conservative Party.”

“The guy you told me about before. The guy who wanted you gone.” Christian confirms with a nod. “So, what, he’s still not over you fucking his son? Hestillwants to ruin you?” I want to cut this guy’s balls off with the plastic knife I’m gripping in my hand. Better yet, I’ll have Amata do it.

“That’s what I thought, too, but no. Adrian has been trying to get in touch with me for a while because he wants me to come back to London and essentially work for him. His best laid plans did not go the way he hoped after my departure, and he’s found himself in a spot of bother. I suppose he thinks I’m theonly person who can help him, but instead of asking nicely, he’s planning to use blackmail instead.”

“He’s gonna use me,” I say, feeling really fucking sick all of a sudden.

“Yes, darling,he is.”

I set down my fork and sit back in my chair, unable to look at him. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“What on earth for?”

I shrug. “Because he only has something to blackmail you with because I’m me.”

“No, he only has something to blackmail me with because he’s a terrible human being. And because Icouldn’t stay away from you. This isn’t your fault, Asher.”

“Yeah, well, it would still be easier for you if I was someone else.” Someone more like his wife.

“Easier? Oh, I don’t know about that. Do you know what I was thinking on the flight, though? I was thinking about how, without Adrian Brooke and his machinations, I might never have met you.” His eyes turn very warm and soft as he stares at me. “I’d never have seen your smile, heard your voice, looked into those bloody eyes. I almost feel like I should thank him.” My cheeks feel hot, and I’m about to melt into a gooey fucking puddle on the floor. “Felix said I was smitten with you, and I think he was spot on.”

“Felix. You told him about me?”

Christian nods. “I did.”

I’m not sure what to make of that. His telling anyone at all about me feels significant, but Felix? The guy he used to secretly fuck before he started secretly not fucking me. I don’t love it.

“Did you fuck him in London?” I swear it’s not even a fully formed thought in my head before it just vomits out onto the remainder of my breakfast. I don’t even care if he did, I don’t, it’sjust—okay, that’s a lie, I do fucking care. I care a lot. Because I love him.

I love you.Please don’t fuck other people even though I consistently fuck other people.

“No, Asher,” he says firmly. “I didn’t. Felix and I have not been together like that for a long time. We’re just friends.”

I nod, but I’m so fucking relieved. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I asked that. It’s none of my business; I fuck people for a fucking living.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” He looks genuinely perplexed.

“Dunno. Just seems weird that you literally watched me get fucked by someone else last weekend, and now I’m getting fucking jealous of you spending time with your ex. It’s ridiculous.” I laugh, emptily. His eyes are serious and considering, but there’s a small hint of a smile on his mouth. He shifts in his chair, turning so his legs are out from under the table.

“Come here,” he says.

I stand and go toward him, where he gestures at his lap for me to straddle him. I do, settling my ass over his thighs so that our cocks are pressed flush together. The chair, old and plastic, protests under our weight.

He reaches a hand up to stroke my cheek. “You were jealous?”

I shrug, avoiding his eye.

“I want to hear you say it.”