Page 47 of Darling

“No, I didn’t. Though there wouldn’t be anything wrong with it if I had. I do most things by myself.” Like most widowers do. “I went with a friend.” It doesn’t feel too incongruous to call Asher that. He is, on some level, the only friend I have in the city.

“A friend?” Leo says.

There are a few baby cucumbers in the veg box and so I grab a handful and a small pot of yoghurt, then move around him to get a spoon from the drawer.

“Yes. A friend.”

“Okayyyyy.” His eyes are sparkling with delight. “Well, I think that’s great, Dad. That you’ve got a friend, that is.”

“Well, thanks, son, your support means the world,” I quip. “Gael, is there anything I missed today?”

“No, sir. Though Ms Tevani called to confirm her meeting with you tomorrow. 10am.” Seema had taken it upon herself to come to the house every few days to make sure I was still breathing and to keep me abreast of anything important I ought to know. I’d taken a week off from the foreign office once with a terrible bout of gastroenteritis, and the only difference I’d noticed between being at work and at home ill was the length of the commute. This time it seems the embassy can actually function without me, and well. And I’m grateful for it. I hadn’t had to review a trade export contract in over a week. That would have left me feeling expendable and superfluous before, whereas now it feels like a perk.

“And there were a few calls from the UK. I left a note of them on your desk.”

“Perfect, thanks, Gael.” As I turn to leave the kitchen, I see Gael cast a long look from under thick eyelashes at Leo. Though when I look at my son, he’s scrolling his phone and nibbling ferociously on his lower lip, his usual habit. “Well, I’ll see you boys in the morning. Are you running?” They’d been for a few runs together and had hung out last week; maybe there was something more I didn’t know? If so, it would have to be Gael harbouring a one-sided crush on Leo, because Leo is straight as far as I know. He’shadgirlfriends. A lot of them. He has one now, the last time I checked.

“Uh, dunno.” Leo shrugs, casting a casual look at Gael.

“I am,” Gael says.

“Well, I’m going to be doing some very low-level stuff downstairs if any of you want to join me there. Night.”

“Night, Dad.”

“Night, Mr Ambassador.”

I take a quick detour past my office to grab my messages. One from my accountant in London, another from Steve, an old friend from university, and a third, surprisingly, from Adrian Brooke. I can’t imagine he’s calling to see how I’m doing. Especially since the last time we spoke, I had the distinct impression he’d kill me himself if he thought he could get away with it. I scrunch up the note with Adrian’s name and number on it and toss it in the bin beneath my desk. I’m upstairs and undressing for bed when I receive a text message from Asher.

Z:

I had a really nice birthday, thank you x

Me:

I’m glad. Though you never got any cake.

Z:

Uh, have you seen your ass? *birthday cake emoji*

Me:

Well my 43-year-old arse thanks you for the compliment.

Z:

Your 43-year-old ass is welcome.

Me:

So, you’re in New Jersey on Friday?

Z:

Yeah, back Sunday.

Me: