Page 105 of Darling

“How?”

He gives me a blatant look. “Your social media.”

“You check my social media?” My head feels light as a balloon: from the beer, the moment, him.

“When I miss you, it helps.” I squeeze my eyes closed tight at that because I am going to fucking lose it right here in thisFrench bistro. “Asher?” he says, sounding concerned.

“You miss me.”

“Darling, of course I do.”

When I open my eyes again, I see concern etched across his handsome face. I don’t understand what he’s doing here, and I’m shit fucking scared to ask because what if it’s not for the reason I hope it is? What if he misses me because he wants a quick fuck, and what if I want that as well because I miss him, and what if, because I always will, we just go back to us fucking and me being an arrangement? Would it really be that bad?

“I need some air,” I announce, standing.

Outside, I stride off towards the river that runs through the heart of Paris, not looking back. It takes him a few minutes to catch up with me. By the bank, I stop, staring across to the other side, to where my friends are waiting for me, to where Aksel is waiting for me—Aksel, who wants something more from me than a quick fuck.

“I’m sorry,” Christian says, which actually only pisses me off.

I turn on him. “Why are you here?”

He takes a breath and then says, seriously, “Because I miss you. Because it’s taken everything in me not to come to Paris since I learned you were here. Because I don’t know how or even want to live another day without you. Because when I think about the rest of my life, what I want it to look and feel like, it’s with you by my side.” He takes a few steps toward me until he’s in my space, body heat pressed close to mine. Like an echo of the day he said goodbye, he takes my face between his hands. “Darling, I love you.”

“Y-You love me?”

“Desperately.”

“How long?”

A quirk of his mouth as he remembers this, too. “Christ, whata stupid question… Did I truly ask you that?”

I nod. “Yeah, you did.”

“And you answered.”

“I did.”

“Then…” He thinks, all the time looking down into my eyes. “Probably since you sneaked into the hospital. Since you told me who you were, since you spoke with that fervour in your voice about how you weren’t ashamed of who you were. You’ve always been a wonder, Asher. The bravest person I’ve ever known. Will you give me another chance? If you need time to think about it, I understand, and I’ll wait. I’ll wait however long I have to.

Sweetheart, there’s no one else for me—there hasn’t been anyone else since you, and if you say no now, I’m certain there will neverbeanyone else.” Whatever look he sees on my face has him dropping his hands and taking a small step back. “I’m sorry, this is too much, too soon. I should have approached this differently, slowly, taken my time. I don’t want to rush or pressure you, and perhaps there’s someone—”

“I didn’t settle,” I cut him off. “You told me not to, and I didn’t. I waited for you, I guess.”

He blinks, looking really fucking sad. “I kept you waiting too long.”

“Yeah, you did.” I go towards him and press myself back against his body. “But there’s no one else for me either. There’s only ever been you, Ambassador.”

A beat. “Christ, that does sound quite erotic now that it isn’t my job.” He smiles, reaching out to tuck a section of hair behind my ear.

“I can make most things sound erotic - it’s a talent.” I close my eyes and lean my head against his shoulder.

“What aboutlubricant?”

I press my laugh into the warmth of his body, relief andhappiness flooding through me. I feel like I’m inside my own head, dreaming this. When I lift my head to look at him, to check this is real, he looks happy.

“Is this real?” I ask him.

He leans in and kisses me, a soft, gentle peck on the lips. “Very real.”