Page 25 of Darling
Blindly, he reaches for the drawer, pulling it open while kissing me. I throw a leg over him and move into position, reaching under my pillow for the lube as I do.As I settle on top of his thighs, I open the bottle and pour a liberal amount onto my hand and smooth it over his thick, warm cock. My hand doesn’t actually go all the way around him, which is insane, so I use both hands as Christian smooths the tops of my thighs with his palms in a sort of calming gesture. When I glance at his face, he’s watching me intently, breathing very fast. He looks a little pale, his eyes a little blown, but the light in here isn’t the best.
“You okay?” I check.
He nods.
“Good.”
“You?” he asks with a strained smile.
“Yeah, I’m about to be.” He laughs as I reach around and smother my hole with the rest of the lube. I kneel up and grip his dick to push it against my hole. It’s a hot throbbing mass of muscle between my cheeks, and my body clenches with want. I fucking need it. I have to force it, pushing it past the ring of muscle with some effort before it slips, delicious and huge, inside. “Ah, fuck, fuck,” I gasp, breathing in and then out as I sink down. Christian’s fingers dig into my thighs as his eyes shutter closed.
“Asher, darling…” he gasps.
“I know. Fuck, you’re so big. Jesus.” A panting, nervous laugh bursts out of me as I slowly, so fucking slowly, start to open for him. I have to slide up and down his dick, circling my hips a few times to catch the lube and ease the process, but then it’s on. I’m sliding on and off his dick perfectly, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever taken before. I’ve had bigger, I’ve had dicks so long I could feel them in my stomach—truly, I don’t recommend it. But this is thick and ridged and veined, a wicked curve to it that hits just fucking right each time he’s all the way in. I’m sure I hear something lock into place the moment I sit all the way down on it.
“Holy shit that feels insane…” I pant, throwing my head back as I test out a few slow lifts of my hips and ass. Christian’s grip is still on my thighs, and his breathing still quick, his cock hard as steel inside me. So then why is he so quiet? “How is it for you?” I ask as I drop forward to kiss him again.
“It feels incredible, Asher,” he says in a strained whisper. “…you feel incredible.”
He moves to wrap his arms around me, pulling me tight to him as I use my thighs to bounce, each thrust hitting that same spot over and over again. Fuck. I never want to stop. I fucking love sex, and when it’s good, it’s like nothing else on earth, nothing. I have all sorts of crazy thoughts when it’s good: I want to fuck every minute of every day for the rest of my life. I’d let him put a fucking baby inside me. Let him do anything to me. Take everything from me as long as he gives me this. Forever. It’s unhinged.
And this, this is up there with the best I’ve ever had.
Pulling away from his mouth, I lean back as I drive my ass down onto his dick, my own slapping against my body as I do. His eyes roam over me, darkly aroused and pleasure filled.
“Christ. You’re magnificent, Asher. You’re…” His words cutoff, and a look of surprised alarm goes off in his eyes. At first, I think it’s because he’s come too soon, but it doesn’t feel like he’s coming; it doesn’t look like it either. He looks like he’s in pain. When he jerks upward and clutches at his chest, letting out a low moan of pain, I stop moving.
“What? What is it? Christian, what’s wrong?”
“I…” he manages through very laboured breathing. His skin is beginning to turn the colour of poorly cooked meat. “I think… I’m having a heart attack.”
Nine
Christian
I’d thought about my own death a lot over the years, and it was often like this. A heart attack, stroke, something taking me quick and unexpectedly. But I was always much older. I was my father’s age. In my eighties, with a well-lived life behind me and a truck full of memories and experiences. My dick no longer worked, my hips no longer moved properly, my joints creaky, and my back stooped. I’d die when I was done.
But I wasn’t done. Not yet.
And my dick, as far as I could see, still worked very well. Asher is on the phone, nodding and listening intently to what he’s being told while my entire life plays through my head at 16x speed. The first time I saw Stella. The first time she smiled at me. The first time she kissed me. The first time we made love. When Leo was born, unmoving and purple. The sound of his first perfect cry. The first time he scratched his knee. When I taught him how to hold a tennis racquet. His first tournament. His accident. Stella’s fall. Her hospital bed. Telling the doctor yes, to let her go. Felix’s proposition. Felix’s smile. Felix’s mouth and body. And then Asher. Asher…
“Ambulance is on its way,” Asher says, panicked voice sounding very small and very young. “They said you have to tryand get on the floor. And chew on this.” He’s by my side again, holding out a white tablet to me. “It’s Aspirin. You’re not allergic or anything?”
I shake my head and open my mouth to let him put it in. “You have to help me get dressed.”
“What? No, you have to get on the floor. That’s what she said.”
“And I will. I just… they can’t find me like this, Asher.” I give him a look, desperate and pleading for him to understand.
Reluctantly, he nods, moving off to grab my shirt and trousers. With some manoeuvring, he gets the trousers on. The shirt is harder because I can’t move my left arm, but he manages it. “They’re still going to know, you know,” he mumbles as I settle labouriously on the floor, with my back against the side of the bed. “Why you’re here.” I can’t tell what his tone is, if he’s angry or disappointed, or something else altogether.
“I know. But at least this way I get to keep some of my dignity.” I offer him a weak smile. “You should dress, too.”
He looks defiant for a minute and then goes to his dresser to pull on a pair of loose jogger bottoms and a T-shirt that reads ‘Dairy Queen’ on it. He then comes to crouch across from me on his haunches.
“Maybe it’s not,” he says. “A heart attack. If it was, wouldn’t you be dead by now?”
I would laugh, but I’m scared to.