Page 6 of Darling

“As long as you keep avoiding telling me what you do, I don’t see how I can.”

“Okay, fine, but you won’t like it.”

I blink at this. “I won’t? How do you know?”

“Like I said, I’m good at reading people.” He has this really playful look on his face now, and I like that he’s relaxed enough to show me that side of him. He’d been nervy as shit before, like a deer in the headlights.

“Try me.”

“I’m in politics,” Christian says and takes a sip of tea as he watches for my reaction.

My eyes widen, and my mouth forms into a pout–come–grimace all of its own accord.

“Shit, that’s disappointing. Oh, wow, you are good at reading people.”

“Told you.”

“Well, it’s been nice, catch you around, I guess.” I move to stand, and a momentary flicker of panic washes over his face. It lights me all the way up as I sit back down.

“Joke. I believe everyone gets a shot at redemption,” I say. “Anyway, for all you know, I kill puppies for sport.”

“Do you?”

“No. Kittens, actually, but no one likes those cute, defenceless little fuckers anyway.”

Christian chuckles again and lifts his tea. Then, conversationally, “Ah, so, I read the book.”

“Boy Slut? You did? And?”

“I thought it was very… sex positive, if a little troubling in parts.”

“Which parts troubled you?”

“Well, he seemed to be talking about STIs like a badge of honour for most of the book, and about how we shouldn’t worryabout them because they’re treatable.”

“I get that. I mean, I don’t agree with everything he says—I don’t agree with everything most people say, honestly, except Gaga—but I think it’s the first time someone has really taken bisexuality by the throat and shaken it out, you know?” He stares at me as though no, he doesn’t know. “You’re bi, right?” I ask. He blinks, eyes going round and wide for a second. “I mean, you’re here with me—a little gay boy from the Midwest—and you had a wife, so Imightbe jumping to conclusions.”

He thinks about this. Then, sounding almost embarrassed, he says, “I’m honestly not sure what I am. Bit of a joke at my age, right?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I think you can have a sexual awakening at any age. Or, if you don’t want to call it that, then you can find a part of yourself at any age. You realise at forty you like olives after a lifetime of finding them entirely not your thing. I’m trivialising, but my point is in there somewhere. Sometimes an experience, a person, a fucking book can make you wake up and realise something about yourself you didn’t know before. It’s part of the human experience: there’s no age where you just, like, stop growing and learning about yourself. About the world.”

He stares at me, mouth open slightly.

“You’re very wise for someone so young.”

“I’m not that young. Anyway, I’ve lived like three whole lives already. I’m like a really old man in a young hot demon twink body.”

He throws his head back and laughs fully at this. His throat is pale, his complexion generally, actually, and I wonder what he’d look like golden from the sun. He needs a vacation. Somewhere warm with palm trees, turquoise waters, and bone-white sand. Fuck, so do I.

“Well, this was very enjoyable, Asher.” He lifts up his empty cup. “Thank you.”

“The tea? I didn’t make it.”

“The tea which you paid for, and the company, which I enjoyed. Very much.”

I nod, then give him my most innocent smile. “You’re welcome. Now, how about helping me with those antiques I mentioned earlier? Blow job offer still stands.”

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