Page 107 of Darling
“Fuckkkk,” he says as I slide my finger inside him again and thrust a few times. “Okay, fuck this, I need you inside me.” When I stand and go immediately to the bathroom, I hear him begin to protest. I don’t have lubricant, but I do have some lotion, and I grab it quickly before returning to him. He makes an amused noise when he sees me with the bottle.
“One day you’ll believe me when I say I’m a pro at this, and I can take it.”
Back at the foot of the bed, I uncap the bottle to pour some of the scentless lotion onto my cock, smoothing it lavishly over the head. It’s cool and pleasant to the touch.
“Oh, I recall, you graduated from porn school.”
“Top of my class.”
“Summa cum laude.”
“Gonna cum where now?”
I laugh as I lean over him and kiss him soundly on the mouth. “Summa cum laude. It’s Latin. Means ‘top of the class’.”
“Really? That’s actually kinda perfect for someone who aced porn school.”
Smiling, I kiss him again, watching his eyes flutter closed as I do. Christ, I love this boy. As I start to push inside him, his eyes fly open, blood rushing visibly to his cheeks.
“Fuckkk… yeah, okay… maybe the lubricant was a good idea this time… did you get bigger?”
I bite back a laugh. “Not that I’m aware of.”
“Right, okayyyy then let’s do this…”
I take it slowly and carefully, listening for the sound of his breathing to know when to push in a little more. When I’m all the way inside, I kiss him again, groaning with pleasure as he bites gently on my lip, and he begins to move.
“Perhaps you got tighter?”
He manages a breathy laugh. “Yeah, maybe I did. Shit, I forgot how good this feels with you.” His eyes are bright blue pools as they gaze up at me, wide and trusting. I touch my nose to his and then kiss it lightly.
“You feel wonderful, sweetheart.”
“Yeah,” he whispers.
It’s not going to last long; I know this as soon as I begin to thrust in earnest. We kiss and move and touch, desperate and starved of each other, like finding shore after a shipwreck. I hold him too tightly as I fuck him, but he doesn’t complain; in fact, he grips me almost as hard as his body chases the peak. Somehow, I hold on long enough that he climaxes first, fucking his own hand as he ejaculates over his perfect body, cheeks bright as ripe apples.
“I love you,” I tell him as he comes, gorgeous with abandon.“I love you.”
I scoop up some of his pleasure with my finger and suck it into my mouth before kissing him again. And as he moans and sucks on my tongue, I can’t hold back, I come deep inside him, his body a tight, warm fist clenching around me, milking me of every drop.
After, he lies with his head on my chest, stroking the hair there, around the nipple. It’s disarmingly sensitive, but I don’t object.
“That was perfect,” I say into the satisfied silence.
“Yeah, it was.” He looks up at me, his dark hair is shorter than he used to wear it, but the top is long so that it’s settled in a middle part, curls on either side. He looks positively cherubic. “What now, then?”
“Are you hungry? We could order some room service.”
“No, I meant with us.”
I frown. “I’m not… I don’t understand. I thought…” I sit up so that I’m against the headboard. Had I misunderstood his lust for something else? My heart sinks. “Is this not… do you not want this?”
“Of course I do, I just meant…” He takes a deep breath. “What’s the arrangement this time? Can we go out in public now you’re out of politics? Or do people still not know you like guys? Am I your ‘artist friend’ or something else? I just want to know what to prepare for, so I can manage my expectations properly this time. You love me and want me in your life, which is great and I’m in, but what does that mean for us, I guess.”
I can only stare at him, stunned.Manage his expectations.The very notion that he’d take me with those conditions again. The idea that he’d take me with any conditions at all is astounding. That I’d made him think that my love, when it came, would be with conditions and rules: arrangements. Ineed to show him that I’m changed, that I’m ready to give him everything he wants and needs. I could try with words, but I think I need something more than that. Something that shows him how important he is.
The idea, when it comes, almost takes my breath away.