Page 80 of Chaos has a Name (An FBI Romance/Thriller #66)

Rayna didn’t understand why he affected her this way, but he did. It appeared her father was about to be incredibly disappointed when he found out she slept with the hot, white Blackhawk bodyguard.

Because that was her plan.

She was betting if they did that, he’d feel more comfortable around her.

“Can I ask a question?”

He sipped the wine, and the whole time, he was admiring her. She was definitely a decent person too. He was calming down around her, and that was a good thing.

Because he wanted her.

The fear was gone, and now, he was thinking about what Elizabeth had said.

It had been a long time since he rolled around with someone.

Should he be thinking about what would happen when they left to go home?

Yes.

Was he?

No.

“Sure. What is it?” he asked.

She pointed at his chest and arms.

“How the hell did you get your body so damn perfect eating mushrooms and lettuce? I have to work out and eat a ton of deer to get my protein in.”

That caught him off guard.

When he smiled, a little dimple appeared in his cheek, and there was amusement in his eyes.

“Yoga.”

Well, sign her up.

Whatever he was doing, it was amazing. Even if it was genetics, bring it on. She wanted him to understand that not everyone was a callous asshole who mocked and made fun of people.

That was shitty behavior.

“Thanks for coming back with the food. I’m glad we’re getting to have this moment together, Caspian.”

Honestly, he was too.

When she got up to clear his plate, he went with her, helping her. As they stood at her sink in the cabin, there was a nice view outside the window.

She caught him admiring it. Outside, she had lights strung up around the deck, and it lit up the area. There was nothing like sitting on her deck, facing the trees, and enjoying the sounds of nature.

“Want to have dessert on the deck? I happen to have ice cream.”

He wished he could.

“Ice cream, no, since it’s an animal product, but I’d love to sit on the d-d-e-c-c-k.”

When she saw him flush, maybe in frustration or embarrassment, she wanted to help him.

So, she dried her hands and went to the freezer to pull out some ice cream and the cabinet for cones.

He watched, and didn’t understand why she had two cones.

Then, she started reading the label.

“It’s dairy free. It’s made with coconut. I don’t see eggs in it. I’m lactose intolerant. Any milk, and we have some big problems.”

That one act of checking for him touched him. Yeah, he’d been right.

She was a good person.

And he liked her.

“Want some now?” she asked, holding up the container so he could doublecheck.

That’s when he nodded.

“Yes, please. I love ice cream. Elizabeth makes sure she gets Vegan ice cream for me. Then, she busts my ass. We have a thing about that. She eats more meat per capita than any person I’ve met—Marines included.”

She listened, and then glanced over.

“And you’re sure that the deer isn’t bothering you? I meant what I said, Caspian. It can be covered. My father had it mounted for me when I was fifteen. That’s my first deer.”

He didn’t look over at it.

If you’d seen one dead thing, you’d seen it all. That was the least disturbing thing he’d seen in his life.

Seriously.

He was honest.

“I’ve taken way too many lives to be squeamish about a deer head,” he admitted, without stuttering. “I’ve walked through the blood. It’s something I’m trying to make amends for in my life. You don’t have to make amends for me.”

It was clear to her that he wasn’t as worried about being around her. Maybe the dairy-free ice cream broke the ice.

“Okay,” she said, not able to imagine what he’d seen. Only, she knew it was probably a great deal of death. When she first met Elizabeth, she felt like she had a lot of death on her shoulders too.

Just for different reasons.

When she was done scooping, she handed him a cone, and led him to the back door.

“You’ve seen some shit, huh?”

He nodded.

That made her incredibly sympathetic.

“I don’t hunt often, if it matters. My father is damn good with a bow, and most of the time, he fills my freezer for me. I’ll go with him if he bitches and moans about how his only daughter is a disappointing Native.”

He couldn’t imagine how she was disappointing. Rayna was checking all the boxes for him.

When she took his free hand, and led him to a swing, his heart thumped in his chest. It was clear she was the kind of person who used touch as a way to connect people.

It wasn’t the first time she’d touched him.

And he liked it.

Together, they sat on the porch swing, and ate their ice cream.

It seemed like the perfect way to spend an evening. In front of them, fireflies flickered, and the smell of trees after a rainstorm was in the air.

That gave him a rush.

But then, it was gone.

Why?

They were leaving.

Caspian knew that if he started something, it would end the day he walked away. No woman wanted a long-distance relationship after a single date night dinner.

That killed the mood for him.

Which sucked because he really liked her company, how she smelled, and how she tried to help him navigate his self-doubts.

Now, he knew he had to be honest. There were condoms in his pocket, and he wouldn’t use them if it meant hurting her.

Sex was amazing, but hurting a person with dishonesty wasn’t worth it to him.

“We aren’t staying,” he said, out of the blue. “At first, we were going to be here a while. Elizabeth’s father-in-law has cancer. He came here to die.”

She glanced over, and she recalled from the call that Elizabeth had taken.

“I’m sorry to hear that. That sucks. I’ll have to ask her if there is anything I can do. As for you leaving, that also sucks.”

It really did.

“He wasn’t going to do chemo again. She talked him into it.”

Neither spoke, at first, and then, Rayna understood why he’d brought it up. He was trying to tell her something.

That this could be their one and only date.

“How long will you be here?” she asked. “Will you be leaving immediately after she finds the killer—if she does?”

In her head, she wanted to believe that Elizabeth wouldn’t bail and switch out teams to work this case. They needed someone good to handle it.

She knew it would be Elizabeth. When she got back to her cabin, after being turned away by Caspian, she’d done some research.

The woman handled the wildest of cases. There was no doubt that she’d be one hell of an adversary to The Hollow.

When she asked that, there was no doubt that the date was coming to an end.

Caspian was sure of it.

“We’ll stay until the case is over.”

She hated that she’d found a sexy man that believed in honesty and integrity, and he was going to be leaving.

Oh, it sucked big time.

“I see.”

The disappointment was evident in her voice, and he suddenly knew he needed to go. She didn’t want a bed hop, and he couldn’t blame her.

It just wasn’t the time.

The universe wasn’t having it.

So, he got up when he finished his cone.

“Thanks for dinner,” he said, that chilliness back.

Only, this time, she understood.

Caspian was an easy person to read now that she knew what he was dealing with in his head.

She must have given him the impression that the date was over.

Instead, she grabbed his arm, and he looked over at her in surprise.

“Why are you leaving?” she asked.

He was confused.

“I just told you that we won’t be here. I’m likely gone in three days.”

Standing up, she stared up at him, and ran her fingers down his cheek.

“Will you ever be back?” she asked.

He didn’t have to think about it.

The Blackhawks came and went often. He knew if Wyler didn’t beat cancer, they’d be back for his funeral. He knew that they brought one of the family members here regularly to check on the community center, or stopped here on layovers when Callen was in California for a movie.

“Yes.”

“Then, I’ll get to see you again. Maybe we can be friends, and enjoy each other’s time, because I don’t want to not see you again,” she admitted, taking a chance.

If he was willing to put it all out there, she was too. It was only fair.

His heart skipped in his chest.

“With me?” he asked, almost wanting to look around to see if she was speaking to him or not.

That’s when she took a chance.

“Yes, with you.”

Going up on her toes, she tried to reach his mouth. It wasn’t easy since he was a full foot taller than her. So, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his hips.

His body reacted but he didn’t even flinch. The walking wall of muscle was able to hold her up with ease.

“It’s like climbing a mountain,” she admitted, finding his mouth with hers to kiss him.

Yeah, he hadn’t been expecting that at all. It was clear that honesty was the best policy with her.

And he liked that.

Because the assault on his mouth was something he’d never forget, and because it made him grateful that she was the kind of woman she was, he wrapped his arms around her to keep her pressed to him.

Go figure.

He liked a very forward woman.

For Caspian, that well-controlled need that he kept on a very short leash reared up, and he let himself enjoy the kiss. When he was able to think again, after they tangle of minty ice cream tongues happened, he blinked.

She was grinning at him.

“You still want me?” he asked, stupefied that this was happening to him.

Jesus.

Did she ever?

“Stay with me tonight.”

As he stared into her eyes, he knew he had to make a decision.

What he didn’t know was that it was going to change his life.

Forever.