Page 26 of Chaos has a Name (An FBI Romance/Thriller #66)

The Parking Garage

Time To Roll Out

Wednesday

One P.M.

Ahhh, all the old memories were back, as she recalled rendezvousing with her people in the parking garage before heading out to take care of business with a case so many times before.

It was just like yesterday that she was doing this here in Damascus.

Only, it had been a damn long time.

How did she know?

The faces around her.

Looking at the people on this team in Damascus, the techs under Chris’ responsibility, had her feeling old.

Really.

Freaking.

Old.

They looked like children and as if they were barely old enough to graduate from college, let alone work for the FBI.

And their new head tech to her team…

Well, he was something else.

At first, she thought it was a prank. Like ‘punk the new person on their first day’, but apparently, that was anything but the case.

He reminded her of a vampire who ran into a gang of emo goths while out buying clothes. He was wearing more eyeliner than she did back when she was a rebellious teen trying to make Charlie nuts.

As she stared at him, Chris had himself a fun little chuckle. Oh, her husband thought he was funny by not warning her about this?

Well, she’d get the last laugh.

Bet.

On.

It.

As a vehicle parked nearby, the last of their group arrived, That was when out came Tony and Jaxon, and as per usual, the nut was nutting.

Why?

He had on a shirt that said ‘I’m not new here. I helped build this bitch. You can call me Daddy.’

As she read it, she sighed.

How was it that she was going to get a call from HR on the first day?

HOW?

This was exactly why she had to babysit the team. They were unpredictable on a good day.

And today was NOT a good day.

“Oh, Christopher.”

When her husband looked at what she was directing his attention to, he gasped.

“Anthony!” he said in horror. “What the bloody hell! Are you insane?” he asked.

The man just smiled.

“What? It’s true. I was the first anthropologist to work here. I’m like their mentor. I am their ancestor. I am their father.”

The two Native men just stared at him. Tony was appropriating again, and trying to give their other husband a stroke.

As per usual.

Not far away, their temporary, new, head tech rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, grandpa. Before they knew how to build a plane, I’m sure.”

That was all Tony had to hear.

Tony gasped.

“Did he just call me old? I still got swivel in my hips, whippersnapper,” he said. “Don’t let the salt and pepper in my hair confuse you. I earned this gray by working with her!” he said, pointing at Elizabeth.

Oh, lordy.

Someone was out of control.

Elizabeth pleaded with the ONLY person on this planet who had the ability to control Tony.

“Jaxon? Your man?” she asked. “Can you take him down a notch before I make sure he’s never able to walk normal again because my boot will be in his ass—permanently?”

Because her boss looked stressed to the max, she handled it.

She slapped her husband on the arm.

“You’re making the boss twitchy. Stop it, or she’ll send you back to DC and I’ll be the one here working. Do you want that?”

Oh, he didn’t like that.

Not.

At.

All.

Where she went, he was going to be right there beside her. Their kids were at the daycare, and they had business to handle.

Boney business.

Before Tony could start his normal shit, Elizabeth went there. Oh, never let it be said she didn’t know the nut well.

“Where is your spider?” she asked, going there, here and now, so the newbies could see that she wasn’t playing if they had ‘exotic pets’.

He smiled.

“At home in her cage. I have a spider sitter taking care of her.”

Oh, well, she knew when Tony was throwing shade, or lies. She’d worked with him a long damn time to know he’d NEVER leave his spider, snake, or prized bug collection at home for this long.

BULLSHIT.

Instead of taking his word for it, she was going to make sure that disgusting, hairy menace was not lurking in his pockets, or gear.

No.

Freaking.

Way.

Instead, she whistled, and Ivan appeared. He held out a box, and Elizabeth wasn’t playing.

Tony wasn’t happy.

“Come on. You killed Eve. Let Morticia live. She’s not hurting anything. She’s a good spider. She doesn’t even bite!”

Yeah, no fucking way—especially after he said that. Elizabeth wasn’t playing this game.

“Eve shouldn’t have been running on the floor of MY MORGUE!”

He pointed at Chris.

“He had a spider as a pet and you let it live. Technically, it is Chris’ morgue, not yours.”

Chris laughed.

“Uh, Anthony, it died in the fire that killed Cyra. Don’t even go there.”

She moved closer to him, and Tony stepped back a full three feet. It was like he knew that she was going to strangle him.

“Christopher, what’s the rule of marriage?” she asked, about to link it to the lab too.

Well, he knew that one.

“What’s hers is hers, and what’s mine is also hers,” he stated.

Tony sighed.

“Traitor.”

Oh, no, he wasn’t a traitor. It took him this long to get her to believe that his things were hers. What of hers did he want?

Not her boots.

All he really wanted was her love and body—both of which he got often and endlessly. The bone man was on his own.

At Tony’s words, the lightbulb went on over the goth’s head.

“Are we allowed to bring our pets to school?” he asked. “I have a python that will…”

She stopped that.

“You. Vlad. Back up from the one nut. I don’t need two nuts in the same place. Anthony, pass her off. She’ll be safe in the box. She’s not coming with us.”

He sighed, and pulled the tarantula from his pocket. The second he did, it reared up on its back legs like it hated her.

And she didn’t doubt it for one single second.

Of course, Vlad, as she was calling him, moved toward the spider like it was the greatest thing he’d ever seen.

Yeah, not her. Elizabeth moved behind Ethan because she was betting that horribleness could at least jump a few feet, and she wasn’t above using a Native bodyguard.

Momma didn’t raise no fools.

That thing had fangs because Tony didn’t want to defang her. She wasn’t sure if it had venom. He was just crazy enough to like being bit.

He had some odd kinks.

Because his wife was under an exorbitant amount of stress, Chris got them under control and the introductions over before Tony turned up on the side of a milk carton.

“Okay, team. I’m glad we can all work together.

This is Doctor Anthony Magnus, and his wife Doctor Jaxon Magnus.

They are our anthropologists. Lesson one for today is don’t do a single thing Tony suggests if it isn’t at all related to work.

Don’t plan a trip to Fiji. Don’t run in traffic.

Don’t bring spiders, pythons, or octopi to work. ”

Elizabeth stared at him like he, too, had lost his mind.

“What? You think that isn’t next? Do you want a spitting octopus in the lab?”

She did not.

Instead of saying anything, Elizabeth let her husband handle it.

Elizabeth waited while Jaxon and Tony shook hands with everyone.

When he turned his back to Elizabeth, she whistled, and Ivan grabbed Tony by the back of the jacket and yanked him backward.

Ivan liked Tony, but he warned him anyway.

“Give up the spider, or I’m going to strip search you here and then use my other boot to end Morticia’s existence. I won’t like doing it, but the boss told me to get that spider. Make your life easier, Tony. Hand it over.”

When he turned, he held out the spider, giving up.

And it had an egg sack.

“Oh, holy shit,” Elizabeth said, backing up even further so she was not only behind Ethan but Callen too. “Again, Anthony? Do we have to keep doing this? The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again as you expect a different outcome.”

He tried to look confused.

“What?”

She pointed.

“It’s having babies. That’s going back in your rental, and then to your home. It’s not coming inside,” she said, as Ivan held the box out.

Tony stared at Ivan.

“If you hurt one single egg on her…”

He actually pulled his gun off of the front of his vest and held it out like Morticia was going out via lead poisoning.

“You’ll what?”

Tony closed his mouth, fast.

Yeah, the Marines didn’t play. It took a lot to freak out Elizabeth, and she wasn’t happy—so they weren’t happy.

Chris continued so they could get the hell out of here. Even as Tony put the spider in the box, he didn’t want to know what other tricks he had up his sleeve.

Chris wasn’t taking a chance.

He continued.

“This is Benjamin Longfellow,” he said, pointing at the head tech to do the introductions.

As the box was carried back to Tony’s car, the bug man raised his hand.

“Can you crack the window? She needs to breathe too,” he stated.

Oh.

Hell.

No.

“Absolutely not. She’ll crawl out and make her way to my office. NO, ANTHONY.”

As Ivan slammed the car door, the team got acquainted.

How?

By being ridiculous.

The man being introduced stopped him.

“I don’t answer to Benjamin. I use my middle name,” he offered.

Chris understood that.

He did the same thing, so he humored him.

“Okay, what do you want me to call you, Vlad?” she asked, being sarcastic because she was accustomed to jackassery going on all around her.

He grinned.

“I kinda like that shit. Maybe we should just…”

She was staring at him as she waited for him to just tell her his middle name so they could get their asses going. Rayna was waiting in the parking lot.

Benjamin got the hint.

“It’s Lucifer.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes, and sighed.

It was crystal clear that these people were going to make her work for it or there was an FBI-wide memo that wanted everyone to drive her batshit insane.

As she was trying to rein in the crazy, he explained—not that she was interested.

“You can call me Luce. My parents are Satanists. They liked the name, and I do too.”

Oh, holy hell’s bells.

She looked at Chris.

“Now is where you tell me he’s kidding, and that this is all for April Fools.”

He wished.

“Elizabeth, it’s June. Wrong month.”

“Hazing?”

He shook his head.

Yeah, she was afraid of that.