Page 103 of Chaos has a Name (An FBI Romance/Thriller #66)

The Blackhawk Cabin

Noon

Thursday

When he showed up, he found himself stopped by security there. Lance Running Wolf had wanted to come here to have that showdown with Wyler Blackhawk. It was a long time coming.

That need was huge, and he wasn’t going to be turned away.

When the two security guards stopped him, he shouted for Wyler to come out.

He knew he was in there.

Elizabeth had said as much.

When the door opened to the very large cabin, the man stepped out.

And that’s when it began.

“We need to talk!” Lance said.

Wyler fully expected this. Security had been warned, and he was actually grateful to talk to Lance.

It was time to bury the hatchet.

As he approached, he nodded toward Muriel and Michael.

“I have this. He’s not a violent person, normally. I can hold my own.”

They both backed off, but stayed close enough to be there in case they needed it.

Lance faced him down.

“Well, you came back. Nice Cabin. It’s a bit much, but then again, so are you.”

Wyler said nothing.

At first.

He knew this wasn’t going to be a friendly conversation, and he’d pay the price for his jackassery all of those years ago.

“Just say what you need to say, Lance. I know it’s been a long time coming.”

Oh, it had.

Whenever he got word that Wyler was back, the man always seemed to leave before they could have this talk. That was why he requested a meeting with him.

And that hadn’t happened, so he’d handle this himself.

“You never knew what you had and how precious it was! I would have loved and saved her. I would have noticed she was sick! You did nothing but hurt Catherine! You didn’t deserve her!”

Oh, well, Wyler was well aware.

It wasn’t like he was telling him anything new.

Lance couldn’t hurt him by saying that to him. It was something Wyler carried deep in his soul since the day she died, and he read that note.

“You’re right. I never deserved her. I wish she had picked you over me, Lance. Deep down, I have nothing but shame at how I treated her. I’ve been living with this for a very long time.”

The man pointed.

“You just wanted to break her. You had to have hated her.”

That was anything but the case. He loved Cathie more than anyone in the world. Only, at the time, he hated himself, and that undid that love.

“I didn’t know how to be a husband. It took me MANY years and three tries to figure it out. I like to believe that the Great Spirit will handle me when I pass. You don’t need to worry about that.”

At his words, Lance was appalled.

“Great. Whose life are you ruining now?”

Oh, there was so much anger there. It poured off of his once friend, and it was toxic. Whether Lance knew it or not, it was incredibly dangerous.

It fed rage, and that rage made a person do insane things.

“Hopefully, no one’s. I’m dying Lance. I won’t make it much longer. Deep down, I know that the cancer will win. The only life being decimated is my own, and we both know that I had it coming.”

The man paused.

He hadn’t been expecting that.

Not.

At.

All.

“I came back here to make amends, and that means with you too. My whole life, I’ve been making amends to only some people. I need to do this with you.”

Lance was caught off guard.

Yeah, he never expected this.

“I’m sorry that we fought over a woman. I’m sorry that I won. When I’m gone, I hope you can have peace and forgive me.”

Yeah, he hadn’t been expecting a contrite Wyler.

A drunk one.

An angry one.

An ambivalent one…

Just never this.

When the door opened behind him, Caryn came out to see if Wyler was okay. It was hard to ignore the shouting from the front yard.

When Wyler saw her, he introduced her.

“Caryn, this is Lance Running Wolf. We were friends when we were younger. He’s on the council, and he genuinely loves this reservation. Lance, this is my wife, Caryn.”

He stared at her.

Lance was befuddled.

How did Wyler keep getting the beautiful women to fall for him?

He was an asshole to them all of the time. His current wife was just as lovely as Catherine had been.

It was so damn confusing.

Caryn held out her hand, and moved toward the other Native man.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Running Wolf. Wyler was just telling me about the time you both ran away as boys, and thought you’d start your next tribe. Given some more time, I’m sure you both could have done it,” she said, laughing.

Damn it.

He was charmed.

“Wyler was always the ringleader,” Lance said, calming down.

Wyler sighed.

“And Elizabeth thinks she got into trouble in her youth. No one can share these stories with her, or the secret is out,” he admitted. “She’ll know that CJ and EJ take after me.”

Caryn moved back toward her husband, and he held her hand in his.

When Lance came here, it was to finally get all of his anger off of his chest. He hadn’t been expecting the man to be dying, or to have a wife who was losing her husband to the same thing that took Catherine.

Fate was crazy.

Maybe it was Karma.

“I’m sorry,” Wyler said. “If I listed all of my regrets in life, it was that I lost my best friend all of those years ago. You’re absolutely right about how I treated Catherine.

I hope one day, when I cross, she forgives me.

Until then, I want to tell you that I’m also sorry I hurt you.

That I’m sorry a woman destroyed a friendship we had for years before it happened. ”

Lance just stood there.

He was dumbfounded.

This didn’t sound like the Wyler he remembered.

“I know there is nothing I can do that will make it better,” he stated. “And I know you feel slighted, but I want you to know that I am deeply apologetic about all of it.”

The man was calm.

The man had definitely changed.

“I don’t drink anymore, and I don’t carry that self-loathing. In order to be the man my wife deserves, I need to be a better person. I hope that you can forgive me, but if you can’t, that’s my burden, not yours.”

That hung there.

“It hurt, Wyler. It really hurt.”

Oh, he imagined it did. In his youth, he seldom thought of anyone but himself.

Now, he would.

“I know you might never forgive me, Lance, but I want to ask a favor.”

He lifted a brow.

Oh, here it came.

What the hell?

“Seriously? That’s ballsy, Wyler. I haven’t even forgiven you yet.”

He was aware.

Only, he tried anyway. It wasn’t for him, per se, but for his wife.

“When I’m gone, Lance, I want you to take care of Caryn for me. She is stubborn, and wants to stay here for some time to heal. I hope you can make sure she’s okay, and if she needs anything, you’ll step up for me—like you wanted to do with Catherine.”

As Wyler spoke, Caryn wiped her eyes, because once more, she was crying.

That made Lance melt.

A crying woman always did.

“I know I have no right to ask this, but after I’m buried, and the family goes home, can you please check in on her, and make sure she is okay? Can you make sure Abe and Tom let her stay. I know she’s not Native, but this is her home too as my wife, and as the mother of my sons.”

Lance said nothing still.

So, Wyler continued.

“I know I have no right to ask. But I need to anyway. We were once best friends. We did everything together until I got lost, and made my life hell. I have to hope that you will forgive me, and not take it out on Caryn. She’ll need a friend, and I know you were always a master at friendship.”

Lance couldn’t believe this.

Not.

At.

All.

Wyler stole a woman, only to come back and give him one? Well, not give, but to show him how much he trusted him by allowing him to help his wife mourn?

In their culture, the brother did that for his fallen siblings.

That was a lot of trust and love.

That helped a lot of the anger dissipate.

“I wouldn’t have trusted you around Catherine, but I will trust you around my Caryn. She’s a lot like her,” he admitted, kissing the tears away. “She’s going to need someone.”

Jesus.

This was…deep. When Lance came here today, it was to have it out, and now, that was the last thing he wanted to do. He felt sympathy for Caryn, and he felt sadness that Wyler was dying.

He didn’t have many ‘friends’ left. They were aging, and because of that, they were losing people left and right to time.

Wyler continued.

He’d warned Caryn about this. While they’d been in their bedroom, he told her about it. This was a step to healing not just himself, but Lance too.

Luckily, she understood.

He wasn’t giving her away, per se, but he was giving her someone to help her bear the grief so she knew that it would be okay.

The kids would go home, but she wouldn’t.

She’ll need an ally here on the reservation.

“The chemo will fail, and at some point, I’ll be buried in the grave beside Catherine and my mother. I’m going to fight, but we all know when the Great Spirit calls, we have to go home.”

Lance was so caught off guard.

Then, more so when Caryn spoke to him.

“Please, Mr. Running Wolf? Can you possibly see it in your heart to maybe show me where you and Wyler played, and where you ran wild? So I can keep that connection to him?” she asked. “I’m heartbroken that I’m losing him so soon. His young son will be too.”

How could he say no?

He did the right thing and took the olive branch. Maybe not for Wyler, but for himself. The last thing he wanted was to spend the few years he had left on Earth being angry over the past.

“Yes, Mrs. Blackhawk. I can do that for you. In your time of grief, I’ll be more than happy to show you the places Wyler spent his youth.”

She smiled at him.

Oh, this was a bad idea, and Lance knew it.

Only, how did he say no?

As Wyler held out his hand, he waited for Lance to take it. He really needed to make amends with this man before he died.

Instead of taking it, Lance stared into his eyes.