Page 79 of Chaos has a Name (An FBI Romance/Thriller #66)

At Rayna’s Place

Later Evening

Fortunately for him, they had access to MATE, and Caspian was able to find the woman’s address. It felt invasive to him, but he’d forgotten to ask Elizabeth where she lived.

It appeared that he was going to have to do the work to locate her.

Now that he had, there was one thing he was feeling.

Nervous as fuck.

Only, he knew that he needed to be brave and face Rayna down. Hopefully, she would still be awake, and willing to talk to him.

The bottom line was that Elizabeth was right. He could use a little fun in his life.

Okay, he could use a lot of fun.

Parking the blacked-out ride that he borrowed and needed to get back in the morning, he checked out the cabin.

It looked like every other cabin on the reservation, but there were definite signs that a woman lived there.

All around it, there were flowers planted, hanging in window boxes, and off of the rails of the deck.

The path was lit up, and there were more cheery blooms lining it to the steps.

Caspian knew he needed to stop staring and actually grow a set.

So, he did.

Getting out, he grabbed the wine and takeout—the incredibly cold takeout—and headed up the path. When he got to the door, he knocked and held his breath.

What he deserved was to be told to kick rocks.

What he hoped was that she would listen and give him a moment to explain.

More or less to show her.

Just as he was about to walk away, the door opened, and she stole his breath.

The gorgeous woman was in shorts, a tank top, and her hair was all piled up on top of her head like she was getting ready to sleep.

Shit.

Now, his nerves kicked in.

His fight or flight was pointing to the latter, and Caspian wanted to bail on this mission.

Only, he owed her an explanation, and he’d give it to her, so she didn’t feel like this was on her.

It was on him.

“Yes, Uriel?” she asked, as he stood there. It wasn’t lost on her that he was carrying the same takeout bag.

He put his faith in himself, and what he believed to be true about her.

“Are you busy?”

She watched him with her gold-flecked eyes, and tried to figure out what this was all about.

Rayna had come home, disappointed. She hadn’t even wanted dinner at that point. Going to bed had been the plan until she heard him in her driveway.

Yeah, she saw his vehicle, and was curious enough to open the door.

“Not particularly.”

He went there.

“Can we talk? Dinner?” he asked, keeping his reply short and sweet.

With good reason.

A part of her wanted to say no, but the rest of her was curious to know what made this man tick. He looked nervous, and she didn’t understand why.

How could a man that sexy be nervous with her? That befuddled the fuck out of her.

“We can.”

Stepping back, she let him into her cabin, and immediately, seeing her barefoot, he toed off his sneakers. Then, he followed her into the space.

And it was exactly what he thought it would be.

While there were feminine touches, there were definite signs that she could hold her own in the woods against anything she hunted.

There was a big deer head on the wall above the fireplace, and a bow and quiver not far away mounted as if placed there to display and have easy access.

When Beau the dog headed his way, he scratched him behind the ears.

“Nice place,” he said, making sure he was particularly careful with what he said.

“Thank you. I’m sorry that you’re having to be in the company of my first kill,” she admitted.

He glanced back over at the deer.

“Did you eat it?” he asked.

She slowly nodded, not sure how this was going to go. She knew he was Vegan, and she knew he might get bitchy.

“Then, it wasn’t wasted, and it wasn’t hurt just for sport. There’s a difference to me. I don’t mind it. Really.”

Well, that went better than she thought.

“Let me heat up the food,” she said, taking the bag from him.

The whole time, he said nothing. Instead, he watched her. When he put the wine down, she went to the cabinet and grabbed two glasses.

They weren't wine glasses, but canning jars. In that moment, he appreciated that she was a genuine person, not trying to impress him.

Rayna was herself.

So now, he had to be himself.

When he used a corkscrew to open the bottle, he poured them both some as she finished heating up the food. After placing it on the table, he handed her a glass.

“Thank you,” she said. “Are you sure you’re okay with the deer watching us? I can toss a blanket or something over it, so you’re not freaked out. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Honestly, that befuddled him.

“Why do you care?” he asked, curiously.

She shrugged, but told him. As of that moment, he was giving off two vibes.

Apologetic ones.

And date ones.

The wine was throwing her for a loop.

“I like to think of myself as a good judge of character. I think you’re a decent human being, and finding someone to spend some time with isn’t easy when most men are…undesirable.”

That seemed to break the ice.

He laughed.

“You don’t know about me. What if I’m one of those undesirable types?” he asked, genuinely curious.

Honestly, she was more than willing to risk it. Just looking at him made her heart flutter.

Caspian had beautiful eyes, and they were the windows to the soul. Deep in them, she didn’t see a bad guy. She saw an honorable Marine who likely had his own wounds.

Everyone did.

She was to the point.

“I’ll take my chances.”

Sitting down, they began eating.

“I was surprised you were a Vegan,” she admitted. “And definitely not disappointed. I love Indian food.”

He let her talk.

“Is that what you didn’t want me to know? That you dislike eating animals, and because I’m Native, you thought that would insult me?”

That was her stab at it, and a way of opening up the dialog. Rayna had thought Elizabeth had been BS’ing her, but when he showed up…

Maybe she was right.

Maybe he was interested.

“Partially,” he stated.

She put her fork down.

“Caspian, just tell me what’s going on because I’m confused. You act like I’m trying to waterboard you to get information, then you basically put out the ‘no trespassing’ sign when I bring dinner, and now you’re here. What is it that I’m missing? I’m smart enough to know I’m missing something.”

He chose his words carefully.

“I’d like to get to know you. I come across…cold,” he admitted.

She ate some rice with the deliciously fragrant dish she’d chosen for dinner for them.

“Cold wasn’t what I picked up.”

Oh, well, he wasn’t. Everything about him ran hot, especially what he wanted when he was with her. No one had made him feel this tied up in knots like she did.

“Really. Just say it.”

Caspian wanted to. He just didn’t want her to mock him.

“I suffer from a severe speech impediment. I work very hard at not stuttering.”

She stared at him.

Was that it?

Really?

Was he protecting himself because he thought she’d be cruel and laugh at him?

Christ.

That said a lot about him, and it broke her heart.

“Okay, and?” she asked, wanting him to know it was no big deal. Honestly, she didn’t give a shit about him stuttering.

Clearly, he could control it.

Caspian was honest, and slow to answer so he could rehearse what he wanted to say so the words were chosen carefully.

And calculated.

“My whole life, even by my father, I was told I needed to hide me, because I was broken. Faulty. I don’t want people to keep thinking that about me.”

Rayna sipped her wine.

“Okay.”

He lifted a brow.

“That’s it?” he asked.

She was honest.

“It’s a speech impediment. It’s not the end of the world. I don’t care that you have one, but clearly, you do. Does it come out when you’re nervous?”

He nodded and answered without hesitation.

Oh, and there it was.

“Y-y-yes.”

Leaning back in her chair, she watched him, and she could see the wheels turning. Rayna could also see that he was holding his breath as if she was going to laugh.

She wasn’t.

Instead, she tried to learn more about him because she did genuinely like him.

Oh, and was attracted to him.

“So you practice what you say in your head before speaking out loud? And that’s why you come across cold?”

He nodded.

“I-i-it’s. N-n-ot. E-e-asy.”

She imagined it wasn’t.

But it explained a lot.

It rationalized the one-word answers that sounded clipped and made it seem as if he was bored with the person. It also explained how he thought before he spoke, protecting himself.

That made her want to protect him, not mock him. She imagined a lot of people did because, well, people, as a rule of thumb, were assholes.

“And this only happens when you’re nervous around a person you like?”

He nodded but said nothing as he continued to eat.

She smiled at him.

“Well, then, I’ll take that as a compliment,” she said. “What doesn’t make you nervous?”

Caspian was honest, but once more, he thought out his answer to show her that he could control it.

The whole time he was silent, she was watching for different tells this time. The effort seemed monumental for him.

The poor dude was struggling to speak without it. Finally, he answered.

“Nature and yoga. My family, meaning the Blackhawks.”

She could see that. What she wanted to do was make him feel at ease so that he could be calm with her. Rayna wanted to get to know him, and now that she understood, she was more patient and less doubting.

She could see Caspian trying his best.

“So, yoga?”

Caspian nodded.

Then, he tried to answer quicker, so she didn’t get impatient with him.

“Y-y-e-e-s. It is good for the body, and it clears the mind. I start and my day w-w-w-ith it.”

She understood.

“I start my day and end it with chocolate. I get it. Whatever makes a person less likely to slap the taste out of someone’s mouth at work.”

That made him laugh.

Oh, and it washed over Rayna like the deliciousness of skinny dipping in a reservation stream in the summer. It gave her goosebumps.

Damn it, but he was hot and his voice…