Page 63 of Chaos has a Name (An FBI Romance/Thriller #66)

“We got home from Philadelphia, and were hit hard. Did you know that your eldest, Ethan, was raped by some serial nutbag when he worked out of Philadelphia years ago? No? Well, neither did any of us. We were putting him back together, only to have Caryn tell us that YOU opted to come here to live out the rest of your life.”

Hearing what happened to Ethan broke his heart. It took years to get over what he found out about Callen, and once more, he hadn’t protected his children.

He deserved hearing the anger.

Really.

Tears slipped down Wyler’s cheeks.

“So what did Ethan have to do? He had to leave his therapist behind and come back here to navigate this alone. He had to put his trauma on the back burner for your selfishness as per usual. We know how scared you have to be finding out that you’re sick again, and how difficult the choice you made had to be too.

Only, when are your ‘children’ going to be the children for once, and you’re going to do your goddamn job and protect them! ”

He said only one thing.

“I’m sorry.”

She didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s too late to be sorry. This is the history of Wyler.

You fuck it up, and you run. In the meantime, you leave all of the people behind to clean it up.

Your choices are a ripple in the pond of life.

You dropped one fucking large rock into the pond this time, Wyler, and now, we’re all drowning in the tidal wave! ”

She had been clenching her fists so hard, she left halfmoon prints in her palms.

“Not to mention you made me this angry. We won’t get to mourn you.

We’ll be recovering from the anger for years to come.

I was abducted today and nearly killed. I’m not out working the scenes.

I’m too rattled and broken. You did me in, Wyler, and I’m so angry at you for making me clean up after one more man. ”

He stood up.

She wasn’t done.

“So, don’t come back. You want to die here, fine.

You don’t want to fight for us, and instead go gently into the night on YOUR terms, okay.

We’ll stay and clean up. We’ll give you what you want.

Only, when in your life are you going to give your children what they NEED?

Because for just once, I wish you would have put the children before the parent.

I’m goddamn tired of parenting grown-ass adults who keep making shitty choices! ”

With that, she headed toward the hole in the floor, and Muriel was putting the ladder up for her to use.

“Please don’t go,” Wyler said.

When she turned, she crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at him.

She dumped it all out, and she still didn’t feel good about it. If anything, she felt worse.

Wyler shared.

“You’re right. I was shellshocked that I’m going to die.

I was caught off guard, and I forgot that I can’t be the man I was.

I don’t want to die, Elizabeth. I don’t want to never wake up one morning, and not see my family.

It felt easier to cower in a corner by myself.

How am I supposed to say goodbye?” he asked.

“How am I going to look at all of you one last time and then never be able to see how our story ends?”

She hated all of this, but she especially hated cancer. It made her so angry and then compound it with all of the death she had to wade through in her life, and it became overwhelming.

She was at her max.

This was Elizabeth’s breaking point. The universe couldn’t kick her in the balls any harder.

She was already on her knees.

“How am I going to kiss each one of my grandchildren that last time? I spent their whole lives with them. I’ve been with CJ since that day I found you in the woods, and Ethan let me back in.

I held EJ on the day he was born. I watched them grow, and losing them is worse than losing me.

For the first time in my life, I got to be the father I wished I was.

Now, I’m going to punish them by making them watch me lose this battle. I won’t win, Elizabeth.”

She stood her ground.

“No, you won’t because you already quit on winning and them.

I’m going to tell them, and the first thing Cat will ask is why you’re not getting treatment.

We don’t have dumb as stump kids. They are going to figure it out.

You have two grandsons who are almost ready to drive.

You have Takoda, who gave you a great-grandson, and your name, and he knows that you’re not going to fight for any of them! ”

He wiped his eyes.

“You didn’t fight for yourself and instead quit, Wyler.

Would you win? We don’t know, but on the day you take your last breath, we won’t think about how you didn’t try.

We’ll be able to say goodbye with no moments of wondering if you could have lived longer.

We’ll know you chose to give up and steal those last few moments with us out of cowardice.

If you think we wouldn’t want you to fight… you’d be wrong.”

She was crying now.

Because she had enough.

She uprooted everyone, and she was tired.

God.

She was so tired.

Every single death, every single loss…it had taken a lot out of her. There were days she felt like a shit human being because she couldn’t give any more.

That day was today.

“Timothy pulled this shit too. He kept quiet and let it blindside us. Sometimes, Wyler, you have to do what’s best for others.

While this is your choice, just once, it would have been nice for your children to know you put them first. Every single day of the last fifteen years, I have gotten up and fought for this family.

It has been beyond exhausting, but I still did it because when you’re a parent, and an adult, you do the hard things, Wyler.

You do the things that cause the most pain and you shoulder that so everyone else can have a break.

All we wanted was for you to fight and carry that burden for us.

You think it’s easy for us to know that you’re going to die?

It’s not. At least with chemo, we’d all have hope, and see that you did too.

Running…there’s no goddamn hope left for us now, Wyler. None.”

Wyler stood there.

Elizabeth felt her heart breaking in her chest, but she softened that anger as much as she could.

“I’ve only ever had one father. It was always Charlie, until there was you.

I’ve had more moms than I needed, but you became my father when I married your sons.

Cancer sucks, but we have enough money to get you into trials.

We have the resources to fight, but not the man who wants to live to see CJ graduate in four years or EJ in five.

I know what it feels like to be tired. But I also know what’s on the line. I wish you did.”

With that, she turned, and started going down the ladder rungs to leave him up there. As she started walking back to the house, she didn’t want to deal with it anymore tonight.

Wyler had made his choice.

And she made hers.

Oh, she’d carry the burden, but she’d protect anyone she could in the process—meaning the children who were going to hurt.

When this case was over, they were going home.

Period.

Elizabeth wouldn’t put her children through the pain of watching Wyler give up. There was no way she could do that to them. They were innocent in all of this, and she would shield them, and Callen and Ethan.

The.

Best.

She.

Could.

Wyler could make them do this, but she had control of their life for now. They wouldn’t eat, breathe, and live it twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

Instead, she’d give him what he wanted.

His choice to die.

And their choice to live.