Page 59 of Chaos has a Name (An FBI Romance/Thriller #66)

As for her loving him, well, honestly, Gene was well aware.

Yeah, he knew.

Love was sharing what was precious and sacred, and she’d done just that.

“Want to talk it out?” he asked. “I’m an excellent listener and problem solver. I navigated Ethan, the early years. They were a nonstop adventure.”

She wasn’t going to say anything at first, but then, she knew this moment was important to both of them. It was a symbol of their relationship and trust.

It was a way they would bond, since they didn’t have sex to build that bridge. They had to build it a completely different way.

“I was so scared.”

He did what he promised and listened.

“I was afraid I wouldn’t get back. It was so dark and so scary. I couldn’t call for help…”

More tears came, and he wiped them away with the edge of her towel. It had come undone, and she was leaning against him naked.

And the tits didn’t bother him at all.

Well, that was a first.

“Get it out. You’ll feel better,” he promised. “I’ll not judge you.”

She cried more, and while she broke down, he just supported her. As he was, the whole time, he was soothing her with gentle kisses to her temple, or his hands on her arm.

When that wave of pain dissipated, she said four words.

“I hate it here.”

What did he say to that?

Yeah, he was not a big fan himself.

Not now.

This place was marred for him too. Gene remembered being invited to Ethan’s wedding to Elizabeth, and actually coming.

He sat with all of the people as they exchanged vows, and he’d been forced to see his worst nightmare come true. He left, and Ethan found someone else.

A woman.

He carried that wound for a damn long time, and this place was a reminder of it, even though things had worked out.

He’d lost years with him.

“I feel like I’m out of control. Like I have so many sharp objects juggling above my head, and I’m about to start dropping the ball.”

Oh, been there.

Done that.

“It’s terrifying waking up in the dark and bound. I don’t know why it’s scaring me this badly since it ended well. I just can’t manage my emotions right now.”

Oh, he knew why.

“Honey, it’s because our lives are complicated.

You have a family who needs you, and now this is dumped in your lap.

You’re at your overload point. You’re dealing with too much.

You’re worried about Ethan’s sanity, Wyler’s choices, and everyone you uprooted to come here.

This is the most normal thing for a person. You’ve reached your breaking point.”

Oh, she had.

And she didn’t even know if they were staying or not. A lot of it depended on Wyler.

Deep down, she hoped he’d go back with them so they could leave.

They’d finish this case, and bail.

Did that make her a pussy?

Maybe.

Then again, maybe it was the smartest thing she could do.

Honestly, she wasn’t so sure anymore if she could handle things like this. Something felt broken in her, and she wasn’t sure what it was.

“Tell me what has you this rattled. I can help you problem solve it.”

She was to the point.

“I don’t want to go back in the cave. I don’t have it in me to relive it. I normally don’t scare easily, but the thought of going back in there…”

Gene did what he needed.

He listened.

Without.

Judgment.

“I’m being a pussy, but I can’t do it, Gene. It was that scary, Then, MATE was cutting out, and I was alone. I was terrified that whoever put me there would get me. I couldn’t see behind me, but I felt hunted. When MATE started losing power, I was ready to sit in a corner and rock back and forth.”

He kissed her on the stitches and bandage.

“Stay in,” he said. “You’re safe here. Let us go do the hard part, and you stay at the cabin and recover from this. If your head is telling you not to do it, don’t do it. This might be your sense of self-preservation that is kicking in.”

That was easier said than done.

Well, for her, anyway.

If she had to admit she was at her breaking point, it would just cause more trouble, and she knew it.

Ethan would worry nonstop.

Callen would hover, and then she’d feel like she was burdening them.

God.

It was all that Catholic guilt.

“I can’t they need me.”

Yeah, what she needed was to stay in and take some time to regroup. Walking back onto that scene wasn’t going to be easy for her.

There were no heroes made from martyrdom. Gene learned that a long time ago.

“I wish there was a way to not have to go but not make everyone worry that I’m losing my edge. I’m just really tired, Gene. I’m tired of leading, and for once, I want to just sit down and not do it.”

Oh, there was a way to make it happen, and he was going to take care of it for her.

Watch.

And.

See.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he one-handed texted Chris. He told her he needed her in the bedroom as quickly as possible.

Why?

Well, that was easy.

Gene was going to help her hide, and he was going to do what she needed. He was going to buy Elizabeth some much needed time.

To regroup.

He was doing what she would do for all of them, and now, she would get the same treatment. The boss needed a mental health moment.

“Let me lead,” he said, when he heard the footsteps approach the door.

She wasn’t sure what he was planning, but she put her faith and trust in him.

He was, after all, her partner in the field. She trusted Gene.

When Chris came in, he looked worried. As he approached the bed, he assessed the situation.

“What happened?” he asked.

Now, he was worried.

He’d just left a few minutes ago, and now that he was back, Elizabeth looked worse for the wear. Something happened.

Gene went there.

“She has a headache, and is a little dizzy. I honestly think that she shouldn’t go back to the scene. She’s going to stay in tonight. Can you watch her while we handle the two scenes?”

At his words, Chris blinked.

That made him nervous.

Oh, it had to be bad if Gene was pulling his partner from doing the job.

“Are you okay?” he asked Elizabeth, staring into her eyes.

No, she wasn’t.

Honestly, she didn’t have it in her.

“I was out for a while,” she admitted, following Gene’s lead. He was clearing the way to get her free from this burden without making her lose face. “I don’t think I can do this, Christopher. I’m dizzy.”

Oh, boy.

“That is alarming,” Chris admitted, moving even closer to her.

That’s when he pulled a penlight from his pocket, and lifted her chin. With gentleness, he stared into her eyes. The whole time, he was looking for any sign of concussion.

And he didn’t see one.

At.

All.

What befuddled him at first, was why the show? Clearly, she was not too injured.

As Elizabeth waited, in that moment, it was clear to her that Gene definitely knew how to play the game.

Yeah, he’d been a Fed so why was she surprised? There was no doubt in her mind, since he worked for Gabe, that he’d learned how to evade situations for him and Ethan.

Good for him.

Elizabeth knew that Gabe was difficult to fool. Know who was even more difficult?

Christopher Leonard.

Gene laid it on thick, maybe too thick. She hoped this didn’t bite her in the ass.

“She might be angry with me later for having you come in here,” Gene admitted, “but it’s my personal assessment that she should stay in for a few hours. Tomorrow is a new day. I think she should rest, but it’s your call. You’re the doctor.”

Uh-huh.

His eyebrow went up.

Yeah, something was definitely up on this one. Elizabeth bitched and moaned at ANYONE who tried to get her to chill after being hurt.

And now she wasn’t?

Gene was good, but no one was that good. He should know. Chris had done battle with Elizabeth for MANY years when she’d been injured.

As for this dog and pony show that was currently going on in front of him, he wasn’t exactly sad she was staying in.

Chris would always err on the side of caution with head injuries. After all, he’d seen the aftermath of Elizabeth being blown up. One more bad concussion, and they might not get the woman she was back again.

They got lucky last time.

After saying that, Gene held his breath, as they tried to keep this between him and Elizabeth.

Then, Chris went there.

“You know what? That might be a good plan,” he admitted. “If you stay in willingly until morning, I won’t have to pull your creds and make you requalify.”

And there it was.

The solution.

When Elizabeth said nothing Chris knew for a fact, she was hiding something by way of Gene.

Was he angry about it?

No.

Why?

Because she deserved an out every now and again. If she needed to hide behind Gene and take a break, who was he to bust balls?

How many times had he hidden behind Callen, Ethan, and Elizabeth when he was beyond exhaustion and needed a break?

He, of all people, knew how important that was.

So, he played along.

“You have things you can do here. One of us will stay with you. Earlier, Rayna gave Ethan the journal that the council told you about. Oh, and Wyler’s still in the tree waiting for punishment. We can’t leave him up there indefinitely.”

Gene went there.

“Say that you’ll stay in tonight, Elizabeth, or he’ll get mean and then you’ll get spicy when you have to requalify. It’s just easier this way, and you can be angry with me later for ratting you out.”

Without saying a word, she just nodded.

Yep.

That alone told Chris all he needed to know.

She needed this.

His strong, independent woman was reaching out, and hoping the men in her life would give her a break on this one. Chris knew for sure that there was no way Gene ratted her out.

He was covering for Elizabeth. Chris would bet big money on it. So, he backed off.

If this was about saving face, she deserved it. It was far and few between that she took the easier way out on something.

A little rest was well deserved. It had been a shit week for all of them.

Leaning over her, he gave her a kiss on the forehead.