Page 38

I LOVE YOU

XANDER

August

“How are things with Bella?” Drew asks on our way to the locker room.

Practice was tough, but it was exactly what we needed. We’re coming off a win, and we need to keep up the momentum.

“Same,” I mutter, wiping the sweat from my forehead. “My phone number is still blocked, and now that she knows I follow her on Instagram, she stopped posting.”

“What does Marco have to say?” he asks as we step into the locker room. The place is mostly empty, since only he and I stuck around after practice.

“He has no idea why she isn’t posting.” I open my locker and take out my duffel bag.

“I even tried calling her from a different number, and she didn’t answer.

” I hang my head and squeeze my eyes shut.

“I don’t know how to convince her to give me another chance.

She kissed me back, so I know she still has feelings for me, yet she won’t give me the time of day.

” I rough a hand through my hair. “I don’t talk to my sister, I don’t talk to Stacey.

I’ve made things right, but she still claims we have nothing to talk about, like she has the right to make that decision for the both of us. ”

Drew shucks off his pants and wraps a towel around his waist, a deep frown etched onto his face. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“What?” I yank my tee over my head and use it to wipe the residual sweat from my face.

“You still don’t see that you did the same thing to her. She left thinking it would be better for you, just like you thought it would be better to handle her problems for her. You took away her choice under the guise of ‘good intentions,’ yet when she did the same to you, you got pissed.”

The realization is a punch to the gut, one that steals the oxygen from my lungs.

“I…”

Bella’s words from the party the other night play in my mind. She scoffed when I accused her of taking away my choice. At the time, I didn’t understand it. Now? Wow .

“It’s ingrained in us to protect our loved ones.

I get it. But sometimes we need to give them the space to figure out how to take care of themselves.

” Drew sits down beside me. “If you have any chance of getting her back, you need to show her you understand. Show her with your actions that you’ve changed, that you believe in her and trust her to take care of herself. ”

“Okay, but how am I going to do that when she keeps avoiding me?” I bite out, pulling on my hoodie.

I should shower, but right now, all I want is to get the fuck out of here.

I’ll clean up at home. “Both times I spoke to her, it was like staring down the field, the clock ticking, and not finding a single opening.”

“My wife can be like that too. She doesn’t take anyone’s bullshit, and once she’s set on something, she’ll make sure everyone knows where she stands.” He crosses his arms over his chest. His gaze is heavy, pinning me to the spot.

“If your goal is to make me feel like shit, you’ve succeeded,” I grind out.

“No. My goal is to tell you you’re not doing enough. You crashed her party, showed up at her house, and you’ve been leaving flowers on her porch for a week. So what? How do you know she isn’t tossing them in the dumpster as soon as she finds them?”

“I…” I shut my mouth. That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I pull on my jeans and then toss my things into my duffel. With every second that passes, my blood pressure gets higher. I need to get the fuck out of here and let off some steam. “I gotta go.”

“Xander,” he calls, his tone dripping with disappointment. “I’m trying to help you.”

“I know. Thanks,” I mutter without turning around. “I’ll catch you later.”

I head out, set on going home and taking Milo for a walk. Then, after a long shower, I’ll fill up on carbs and turn on shit TV until I pass out.

I want this day to end.

Halfway home, Marco calls. “Hey,” he says, his voice tinny through the speakers.

“What’s up?”

“Got plans tonight?”

My frustration rises, threatening to boil over. But none of this is his fault, so I take a deep breath and slowly exhale.

“Not really. You?”

“Meg’s meeting Izzy for dinner, and then they’re headed to the club.”

My gut twists. “Which club?”

He hums. “I don’t know yet. They were on the phone when I came home from practice, so I only caught part of the conversation.”

Meg is still pissed, and this won’t help him find his way back into her good graces. And he’s doing it for me. Again. I don’t deserve friends like him and Drew.

“They’ll probably be pissed if we show up, but maybe this’ll give you a chance to talk to Izzy. Sounds like Jess will be there too. What do you think?” he asks.

From what I’ve heard, Jess and Bella have become good friends, and according to my mom, she all but ghosted Audrey. Not that I can blame her if what Mom said was true. Apparently, my sister pulled the “it’s Bella or me” card.

I wet my lips. “I know they can take care of themselves, but I’d still like to be there to keep an eye out.”

After Drew kicked my ass with his words, I want to do better. And yeah, part of me wants to protect her. I always will. But more than that, I want her to know I’m not going anywhere, that I love her.

She’s mine .

“Yeah, I’m in.”

Marco barks out a laugh. “Meg’s going to rip me a new one, but…let’s go clubbing.” The line crackles as he blows out a breath. “Would it be okay if Josh joined us? I promised to invite him next time I went out.”

I poke my tongue in my cheek, rapping my fingers over the steering wheel. “As long as he stays away from Bella, I’m fine.”

“Ha. I’ll let you be the one to tell him that.”

“What time are you thinking? I need to walk Milo and take a shower.”

“They’re meeting for dinner at seven,” he says, his voice quieter. “Then going to the club from there.”

“So ten, maybe? When you know for sure which club, text me, and I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay. See ya.”

“Marco?” I say before he can hang up.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“No big deal, man. What are friends for?” With that, he ends the call.

I feel like a fucking teenager getting ready for his first date—the jittery feeling in my hands, the way my knee bounced as I drove to the club. I chose my lucky white shirt, black jeans, and white sneakers. It’s simple, but I know she likes the way these jeans hug my ass.

Outside the club, I pull Josh aside.

“I want to be honest, because I don’t like beating around the bush. I love Bella, and I’m not planning to watch from the sidelines while you go after my girl.” I shove my hands into my pockets, holding his gaze.

Josh chuckles. “She’s a stunner, and I had a good time talking to her at the party.

” The smile he gives me is an earnest one, not at all what I expected.

“But she turned me down—very respectfully, by the way. I don’t have any intention of pursuing her.

She made it clear she’s not interested. I respect that. ”

My face splits into a grin, unbidden. “Good to know.” I hold out a hand.

Just as he takes it, Marco sidles up to us. “Are we good?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

“Then let’s go.”

There aren’t many places in Boston we can go and not be recognized, and this club is no exception. Though it’s packed, the bouncer lets us right in.

We start at the bar, figuring we can scan the place while we wait for drinks.

“Any sign of them?” I survey one side of the bar, inadvertently locking eyes with a blonde.

She arches a brow and blatantly checks me out.

A shudder works its way through me. No, thank you. Not interested.

“Nope,” Marco mutters, gaze lingering on the crowded dance floor. “You?”

“Unfortunately, no. Should we go?—”

“Hello, boys .”

Marco and I scowl at the same time as we zero in on the blonde I locked eyes with earlier. She’s flanked by a redhead and a brunette.

“Bye, girls .” I set my glass on the bar and take a step back. “Let’s go?” I ask Marco and Josh.

“Yeah.” Josh places his empty glass near mine.

Marco does the same, then leads the way through the crowd. At the edge of the dance floor, he stops and cranes his neck. “I think I saw Meg,” he says, turning to the right. “This way.”

It’s impossible to move without bumping into someone. Fuck . Just brushing up against a random woman as I pass makes me shudder.

A little more than two years ago, I spent my Saturday nights in clubs like this, drinking, dancing, partying my life away. Now? All I want is my girl.

Marco stops abruptly, and so do I. I skirt around him, and there she is.

Holy shit . She’s beautiful no matter what she wears.

In pajamas, in my T-shirt, the modest dress she wore the other night.

But right now? She’s absolutely stunning.

Her dark blue dress sparkles as she moves, the fabric hugging her body like a glove.

Her shiny dark brown hair, her sapphire eyes, her slightly upturned nose, her full red lips, her fit body, those long fucking legs?—

Focus, Xander. Focus.

“Wow.” Josh whistles, stopping beside me.

I squint at him, hands clenched into fists.

Grinning, he shakes his head. “Like I said, Isabella is beautiful, but I was talking about the girl dancing with her. Do you know her?”

Relief washes over me. “That’s Jess,” I say. “I’ve known her forever. We were neighbors when we were kids.”

Jess and Bella are dancing while Meg sits on a nearby couch, sipping her drink. She’s scanning the crowd with her legs crossed, the top one bobbing to the beat. When her eyes meet mine, she spits her drink back into the glass. When her gaze shifts to Marco, her eyes narrow to slits.

Shit .

“Hey, babe.” As if Marco has no idea she’s seething, he saunters over and plops himself down on the couch beside her, draping an arm over her shoulders. “Thought we’d join you for a fun night out.”

“Hi.” Josh greets her with a polite nod and sits on the couch that’s perpendicular to theirs.

I dip my chin. “Hey, Meg. You look great.”

“Thanks.” She pushes Marco’s arm away. “Why are you here? It’s supposed to be a girls’ night.”