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WORDS HURT

BELLA

One year ago

August

The whole way to Audrey’s baby shower, I keep my focus fixed on the road ahead of me. There’s no point in trying to maintain conversation, so I settle on listening to Xander, willing his soothing voice and gentle words to ease my anxiety. But even that is pointless.

Two weeks ago, it would’ve been the best solution to any problem. To any pain, any misunderstanding. Now? It’s not enough.

He followed me into the shower and apologized, his every word genuine.

I’m no longer angry. Honestly, I probably overreacted when I stormed out of the room, but I couldn’t help it.

Xander gets me like no one else. He notices so much, at least when he’s paying attention to me. But I’ve already made so many mistakes, and I’ve let on more than I should have. I’m scared of what will happen when we’re apart.

“Bella?”

My name on his lips snaps me out of my spiral.

I shift to face him. He looks so good today.

His white shirt hugs his torso like a second skin, every defined line on full display.

His black jeans are a bit loose on his hips but still show off his muscular ass.

This man is too addictive for my own good.

He is a unique kind of drug, designed specifically for me—only for me.

“Yeah?”

“I won’t leave your side. It’ll be like I’m glued to you.” He blinks at me, his scrutiny causing disquiet to bubble up inside me once again.

I chuckle, shaking off the sensation. “Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts. I didn’t hear a word you said.”

“I noticed.” The tenderness and warmth in his expression cause butterflies to take flight in my stomach. “What’s on your mind?”

“A lot of things.” I shrug. “You can talk to Stacey, you know. I don’t have anything against it, or her. Just tell me if you suddenly decide to disappear so I know where I can find you.”

“I wasn’t going?—”

“You still text, and you still meet up for lunch, don’t you?” The restaurant where Audrey’s shower is being held comes into view. I hope I have it in me to survive this party. “And that’s completely fine with me. Spend time with her. I can keep myself occupied.”

“Why don’t you come with me next time? She’s a nice girl, very funny. I’m sure the two of you will have plenty in common.”

I barely hold myself back from laughing. Yeah, we’ve both slept with you. That’s what we have in common.

Sometimes, he’s too naive.

I hum, noncommittal. “We’ll see.”

As he parks, I run my fingers in my hair from the roots to the ends.

It helps me relax and collect myself. It won’t be easy, but I’ll put on my big-girl pants and do what I need to do.

I can do this. I can face Audrey, who told me to go fuck myself and hasn’t bothered to apologize.

She’s adamant that she’s done nothing wrong, but in my book, being disrespectful is a problem, and it seems as though she can’t help herself.

We climb out of the car, and Xander goes to the trunk to pull out the gift he purchased—the stroller Audrey listed on her registry. I lean back against the car, arms crossed over my chest, focusing on my breathing even as my anxiety spikes.

“Ready?” he asks as he lugs the giant box toward the restaurant. “Relax. I talked to Audrey, and she assured me she’ll be polite. I promise.”

When he told me about his talk with Audrey a few days after the situation with Kevin was resolved, how he “finally did the right thing” and distanced himself from her because of how she treated me, I didn’t argue with him.

I’ve given up hope that he’ll ever understand he needs to let me stand up for myself, that he should have more faith in me.

Now, it seems as though our unspoken, unaddressed problems grow bigger with each passing day.

Sometimes, even a love like ours isn’t enough, and I’m afraid the distance that’s about to be between us will be what finally breaks us.

As we step inside, I hold my head high. I chose my favorite white dress with lace details and the black Chanel heels Xander bought for me.

My hair is straight today, cascading down my shoulders, the glitter hair spray I added glimmering under the sun.

With the sharp, narrow lines on my eyelids and a touch of mascara, I feel beautiful.

“There you are.” A melodic voice rips me out of my thoughts, and the modicum of peace I’d found evaporates as Stacey strolls toward us, wearing a radiant smile.

“I’m so happy to see you.” She leans in and presses a kiss to Xander’s cheek.

“Hey, Stace.” He grins.

“Hi, Isabella.” She plants a kiss on my cheek as well.

I fake a smile and nod. “Hi. This place is beautiful,” I say, going through the motions. “You did an amazing job!”

“Thank you!” She beams, clutching her hands in front of her chest. “I met your cousin at an event he organized a few weeks ago. Did he tell you? He’s incredible.”

“He is.” My smile turns genuine. “And he loves his work.”

“He definitely does.” Stacey laughs. “I still don’t know why Audrey hired me instead of him.”

Numbness takes over, creeping through my extremities. I shrug. “She likes you more than she likes me.”

Stacey’s eyes widen.

“Bella,” Xander says softly, his fingers brushing my hand.

I take a step away from him and scan the venue. “Is everyone already here?”

“Erm…yeah… No, actually, no,” she mumbles. “There are only a few others so far.”

“Okay.” With a nod, I head deeper into the restaurant.

Behind me, Xander asks her where he should put the stroller, and she says she’ll show him. It’ll give her a chance to ask him about my comment, I’m sure.

Though I continue looking around, I don’t actually see any of the details. The music is indistinct to my ears. I’m here and not here at the same time, lost in my head. I wander further into the restaurant, and just as I’m skirting around a column, a voice catches my attention.

“How are things with Alex?”

I stop in my tracks, my heart leaping into my throat. A few feet away, Audrey and her friend Jess sit on the couch, though from my vantage point, I don’t think they can see me.

“I haven’t seen any news about charges. Have they been dropped?” Jess asks.

Audrey lets out a humorless laugh. “That man decided not to press charges, thank God,” she says. “Apparently, it was all her mother’s doing. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s extorting him by promising to keep her mouth shut if he pays her. Like mother, like daughter. I wasn’t even surprised.”

My knees wobble so violently, I have to press a hand to the column to remain upright.

“Are you talking about Isabella?”

“ Her .” Audrey huffs. “I can’t wait for my brother to see the light and finally dump her. She’s nothing but bad news.”

“He loves her.”

Tears spring to my eyes. Jess’s kindness is surprising, and so appreciated.

“He thinks he loves her,” Audrey grinds out. “He’s only with her because he was obsessed with avenging Stacey. He wanted to punish Miller. So, when the opportunity arose, he seized it. He wanted to make Miller suffer by taking away the person he loved, the way Miller took Stacey from him.”

“You don’t know that for sure, and it’s obvious that Alex loves Bella. The way he looks at her, how he behaves when she’s around…it’s love, Audrey, in its purest form.”

Warmth starts rekindling in my lower abdomen, and the tiniest smile tries to grow on my lips.

“It’s not love. It’s an obsession,” Audrey snaps.

My smile falls, along with my shoulders.

“Alex loves sex, that’s all. And that girl…turned his head. They are so hot for each other, it’s disgusting. He can’t keep his hands to himself when she’s around. But I guarantee, as soon as he stops thinking with his small head, he’ll see how much better Stacey is for him.”

“Audrey…” Jess hedges. “You shouldn’t be meddling in their business.”

Audrey scoffs. “No meddling needed. He hangs out with Stacey all the time. They text a lot. He’s so, so close to finally seeing things for what they are. He’ll figure out soon enough that his first love never died. If not for Miller, they never would’ve broken up.”

“Wait.” Jess pauses. “Is that why you hired Stacey to plan the shower?”

Audrey’s responding laugh is cocky as hell.

“It was like fate intervened. I was looking for an event company, and then there she was. Once I hired her, all I had to do was step back and watch. They’re already finding their way back to each other.

I just arranged for them to run into one another.

Everything else is happening on its own. ”

“It’s manipulation.”

My vision blurs, my eyes full of tears. I was right all this time. I was right.

“What you’re doing is wrong,” Jess hisses. “Having Miller in his life again may be a little disorienting for Xander, and the situation with Bella’s stepfather was a challenge, I’m sure, but he loves her. Don’t expect him to be thanking you if she leaves him because of this.”

“ He will be the one to dump her , mark my words. I can guarantee he’ll leave her for Stacey.” Audrey’s voice pitches higher, piercing my ears.

Still steadying myself against the column, I risk a look at them. Jess sits with her arms crossed, her eyebrows pinched together, while Audrey is relaxed, her hands on her belly.

“Stacey is a genuinely nice person. She’s respectful, smart, and successful. She stands on her own two feet rather than playing the victim like Isabella always does. Alex loves to be the hero, her knight in shining armor. That’s all there is to it.”

Jess shakes her head. “Ugh. I feel dirty just hearing all this. How can you be so disrespectful to Bella? And to your brother?” Jess looks away, shuddering, and that’s when our eyes lock. Her mouth falls open, and all the color drains from her face.

I shake my head, silently pleading for her to keep quiet.

“You’re angry because I forbade you from crushing on my brother when we were younger.” Audrey waves her hand dismissively. “Just watch how Alex acts with Stacey. You’ll see what I mean.”

“I doubt it.” Jess continues to hold my gaze, her expression one of pity.