Page 44

FORTY-FOUR

ELI

Becca spins, peering at me through her lashes. “What do you wanna know?”

I shake my head, irritation sparking in my gut. “Don’t do that.”

My arms cage her in, my hands pressing against the cold metal of the door behind her. I’m desperate to make her feel me, but I’m terrified that once she does, I’ll never recover. The whisper of a touch I’ve already given her is almost more than I can handle. “Stop pretending like you don’t know exactly what I’m asking you.”

She glances down and exhales a shaky breath. I grip under her chin without thinking, static running through my fingertips as I tilt her face back to mine. “I deserve to know.”

“I just—” Her hand comes up, knotting in the curls on her head. She tries to duck under one of my arms.

I slide it down so she can’t.

She huffs. “Can I get some space?”

My jaw clenches. “No.”

“I can’t breathe with you this close, Eli. I need…I need some damn space, please. ”

Funny. I haven’t been able to breathe since she stole my breath five years ago. I’m still waiting to get it back.

“No,” I repeat, my voice low.

She meets my eyes, the pull of her gaze hooking into my chest and tugging, trying to tether us together. “Why the hell not?”

Her question chafes the damaged pieces of my soul. I exhale slowly, my nostrils flaring. “Because I’m afraid you’ll leave.”

She sighs, her eyes turning glassy. I hate the way my heart pinches at the sight.

“I won’t leave,” she whispers. “I’ll tell you whatever you wanna know.” Her hands push against my chest, branding my skin through the fabric. “Please, I can’t breathe with you so close. It’s?—”

“You think I can ?” I snap, gripping her wrists and hauling her against me. “You think it’s been easy for me to be around you all this time?”

I tighten my hold and step into her, pushing her body against the door with my torso. “You think it hasn’t killed me to stand in your presence and remember the feel of having you in my arms? To realize that even after all these years…” My voice cracks and I grit my teeth, fighting the burn behind my eyes. “After all the pain you’ve inflicted, you still light my goddamn body on fire?”

A tear trails down her cheek, dripping off her chin. I watch as it falls, reveling in the show of emotion. My soul craves to dig deeper and draw out more. To prove that she actually gives a damn.

“I can’t do this,” she chokes.

My grip slackens, and she rips her wrists from my grasp, spinning around and flying through the door before I can stop her.

My heart pummels my chest.

I don’t fucking think so.

I stalk after her, following her into the closest room off the hallway.

Grabbing the door before it closes, I step into the space and glance around. Other than a desk at the front and a few chairs pushed against the wall, it’s empty.

Becca’s standing in front of the desk, gripping the edge, her shoulders hunched and her breathing heavy.

“Still running, I see.” My voice cuts through the air.

She shakes her head, her fingers flexing against the wood, making her knuckles turn white.

“Why did you leave, Rebecca?”

Silence.

Years of repressed anger rupture inside my chest and I twist, slamming the door closed. “God dammit ! Stop bein’ a selfish bitch and just tell me.”

She spins to face me. “Because I loved you!”

My lungs collapse as her words slam into my chest, cracking it open and throttling my heart. “What?” I gasp.

Her posture softens, her jade eyes glistening as they meet mine. “I loved you, all right? I still love you.”

She moves forward and I step back.

I don’t want her close.

I don’t believe a word she says.

Bitterness rolls through me and I laugh. “You don’t love me. You don’t love anyone but yourself.”

She tilts her face to the ceiling. “God, you have no idea how much I wish that were true. Do you think I like knowin’ I lost you before I ever had the chance to really have you?”

“You didn’t lose me.” The audacity of her words pumps rage through my veins and propels me toward her. “You threw me away. I was yours. ” My fist beats my chest. “Every inch of me was yours.”

“Yeah. Well…now it’s Sarah’s ,” she hisses.

My brows shoot to my hairline, a spike of satisfaction worming its way in, mixing with my anger. Her jealousy makes me feel like she actually cares. Like I’m not the only one who feels this goddamn wild.

I shrug. “Yeah, well…one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure, I guess.”

“You’re right.” She nods. “I mean…you’re right that I didn’t treasure you. There’s nothin’ I can do to change that. But you’re asking me why and that’s the reason.” She blows out a breath. “I love you, and that terrifies me, Eli. I don’t know how to love. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be. I never have.”

My heart kicks my sternum, and I step closer. “Bullshit. It was supposed to be us.”

She stumbles at my advance, the back of her legs pressing against the desk. Her necklace jostles from under her shirt, catching my eye as it glimmers against her collarbone.

#1 Player.

My heart kicks into overdrive.

“I was scared,” she whispers. “I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

I’m on her now, her breasts heaving against my chest with every inhale. My mind screams to back away. But I can’t.

“You’re a coward,” I spit.

She nods, her eyes holding my gaze, causing heat to flare low in my gut.

Her tongue jets out to wet her lips and my eyes track the movement, my body coiling tighter with each passing second.

She sucks in a breath, her eyes dilating as she watches me war against my emotions.

I lose the battle.

My head drops, my nose skimming along the length of her throat, inhaling her scent. My tongue darts out because I can’t be this close and not taste her, so I torture myself instead and give in.

I rest my forehead in the junction of her neck, my teeth clenching against the urge to sink into her skin, my fingers coming up to tangle in the chain of the necklace I bought her when she was mine.

“If you loved me…” My voice breaks. “How could you leave?”

Her breath hitches. “I’m a fool.”

My heart stutters, aching at the memory of how she broke me.

I lift my head, synapses firing from the heat of her gaze.

The silky fabric of her blouse bunches under my palm as I glide my hand up her side. My eyes trail over every single freckle until I finally meet her stare, searching for verity in her eyes.

I cup her face. “I don’t believe you.”

And then I give in to the pull.

Fireworks burst in my chest when our lips collide. She moans, her hands gripping my shirt, dragging me into her. My cock jumps, straining against my zipper, desperate to dip into her after going so long without.

My hands leave her face, sliding back down her curves and pushing up her skirt, kneading the flesh of her ass.

I groan into her mouth. She feels so fucking good in my hands.

She nips at my bottom lip and I hoist her onto the desk, spreading her legs, and glancing at the thin scrap of lace between her thighs.

Goddamn.

My dick pulses, my mouth watering at the sight. I surge forward, trailing my tongue along her collarbone.

She leans on her elbows, her head falling back. Want spirals through my insides, making me dizzy.

Working my way back up, my tongue tangles with hers, trying to savor every moment, not knowing which one will be our last. I push her back with my body until she’s splayed on top of the desk, my lips attached to hers and my cock weeping for the same.

She moans into my mouth when I dip my fingers inside her, pumping them twice.

“So wet for me, baby girl,” I growl.

“Eli,” she breathes.

A zing of anticipation shoots through me and I push my fingers farther, curling them forward until her back bows.

Working her hard, my thumb circles her clit. My palm is drenched from her juices, and I swear to God, if I don’t get inside her soon, I think I might die.

I back away from our kiss, needing to see her come apart beneath me, needing to know if the reality is still as good as my dreams.

Her legs tremble as I finger fuck her into euphoria.

Christ, she’s beautiful.

Suddenly, it’s not enough to have her this way. I pull my fingers from her core and rip off my belt, frenzied in my need to dive deep inside her and drown in her crazy.

Becca bites her lip as she watches. “God, Eli, hurry up. ”

I quirk a brow as I pull out my cock, stroking it from base to tip. Precum drips from the head and lands on her thigh. A sick, possessive pleasure flares in my chest at the sight.

Becca groans, her hands grappling to pull me back, her eyes wild. “Eli, please.”

I smirk. “You know I love it when you beg.”

She fists my shirt and pulls me close, rising up until her mouth brushes mine. “Shut up and fuck me already.”

Her words blaze through me, capsizing my control in their fever.

My hand grips her jaw tightly. “That fuckin’ mouth.”

She grins. My fingers squeeze tighter as I bury myself inside her and steal her gasp with my tongue, my eyes rolling back at the sensation.

And then I hear another gasp.

One that isn’t from Becca.

My head snaps up and my stomach drops to the floor.