Page 36

THIRTY-SIX

BECCA

Jax has been back from California a little over a week. I haven’t had an opportunity to pick his brain on everything Chase and Lee, so when he asked to meet for lunch, I jumped at the chance. Besides, I’ve been in a funk ever since Eli came back to town, and Jax is the perfect person to have around when you need to feel lighter.

I dip a fry in my ketchup and pop it in my mouth, smirking when I see the group of women peeking glances from the corner booth. “Your fan club is gettin’ antsy.”

Jax turns toward them and winks, dazzling them with his perfect smile.

I scoff.

“What?” He grins, tucking a strand of his shaggy blond hair behind his ear.

“It’s just disgustin’ how easy it is for you.”

“Don’t be mad at this.” His hand floats down the length of his body. “I can’t help that the ladies like what they see. I don’t wanna be rude.”

He’s cocky, but I can’t really blame him. Jax might be the most beautiful specimen that’s ever graced my eyeballs. Similar to a Monet or Picasso, he’s a masterpiece of art you’re afraid to touch. Maybe that’s why he’s one of the only guys I didn’t hook up with when I was in high school.

He snaps the hairband on his wrist, his green eyes dimming as he smirks across the table. We’re similar souls, Jax and I, opting for meaningless hookups instead of grabbing hold of something real. The difference is I don’t want to grasp my “real” and his is out of reach.

I take a sip of my sweet tea, resting my elbows on the table. “So how are you doin’ with everything? Really?”

Sighing, he leans back, throwing his hair into a bun. His knuckles tap the tabletop. “Did you know she was back with him?”

He’s talking about Lee and Chase, of course. They’re officially back together, and I know he’s struggling with the news. Lee’s the girl he’s hopelessly in love with, and Chase is the man who broke both their hearts. I guess it’s easier for some to forgive than others because I don’t think Jax will ever let Chase back into his life.

I nod. “Not until after you did, I’m sure.”

It’s weird, but I feel closer to him in this moment than I ever have in the past. Maybe it’s because for the first time, I see the torment he hides behind his carefree gaze. Or maybe it’s my soul recognizing a kindred spirit, both of us left with nothing while the people we want give their everything to someone else.

I take one of the straws from the table and rip off the paper, putting an end to my mouth and blowing. The wrapper flies into his face.

He bats it away, chuckling, and I grin wide, some of the gloom slipping away with our laughter.

I point at him, squinting my eyes. “Chipper up, buttercup. You’ve got plenty of ladies waitin’ for you out in sunny California.”

“Naw, not too much in Cali. Too busy kissing my boss’s ass to find time to kiss any that are more to my liking.” He shakes his head. “Hollywood producers are a different breed of asshole.”

Jax works on movie sets, but even though he has movie-star looks, he’s no actor. He’s got a gift—always tinkering beneath the hood of something worn and turning it into beauty. When he first moved to Sugarlake twelve years ago with his momma, he nabbed a job at the mechanics shop on the weekends. Over the years, and California sets came calling. Now he’s the go-to guy for the cars they use in blockbusters.

“When are you headin’ back?” I ask.

“Next week. I’m staying in town until Sam’s retirement party.”

I grimace at the thought of that damn party. Sam’s the owner of Sugarlake construction and a beloved member of this community. He’s done a lot for Sugarlake, so now that he’s retiring, he’s going out with a bang.

The thought of being stuck in a building with the whole town sounds like the worst kind of hell, but I wouldn’t miss it. Sam is Chase’s dad, and Lee would kill me if I wasn’t there.

“I’m actually thinking of moving out there full-time.” Jax’s eyebrows are raised, like he surprised himself by saying it.

I gasp. “What? To California? Does Lee know?”

He slides his fork through the leftover mayonnaise on his plate, shaking his head.

My chest pulls tight. “Are you movin’ out there because of her?”

The muscle in his jaw jumps, his cheeks puffing with his breath of air. “No offense, Becs, but I’m not gonna talk about that with you when I haven’t even told her.”

“Fair enough.” I sigh, imagining what her reaction will be. She’ll blame herself, I’m sure. “Lee’s gonna lose her shit.”

He shrugs. “She has Chase now. And you.”

My lips purse. I’ve been friends with Jax for a decade, and this is the first time he’s seemed so beaten down. Moving away from this place will be good for him. My heart aches when I think of him leaving, but I can’t ignore the gusts of jealousy that whip across my insides knowing he’s freeing himself from his chains.

I stick out my bottom lip. “Wanna take me with you?”

He smiles. “You can always come with, Becs.”

I huff. “I was jokin’. What would I do out in Cali? Cater to your every wish? Pass.”

“You’re right.” He nods, rocking on the back two legs of his chair. “Better to stay here and cater to your father’s.”

I’ve never spoken about my family issues with Jax. That’s not the type of friendship we have. The fact that it’s so obvious—even to him—slams into me with the force of a battering ram.

I deflect his statement, throwing my balled-up napkin at him and scowling.

He bats it away, dropping the legs of his chair and leaning forward on the table. “Seriously, if you want to get away, Cali’s always waiting for you. If you’re ever like me and just…need to get some space from this place.”

His swallow is thick, and he’s fingering the chain around his neck.

My heart hurts for what I know he’s feeling. Hell, I’ve only had to endure Eli being with someone else for five seconds, and I’m fixing to lose my mind. I can’t imagine the wear and tear that’s been taking place on Jax’s soul for years.

He’s never faltered in his love for Lee. Never pushed her for more or weakened in his support. He’s just been there, molding himself into whatever she needs, allowing her to lean on him even when the weight is hard to bear.

“Jackson Rhoades, I think you’re a much better human than me.”

He cocks his head, the left side of his mouth quirking. “You just now figuring that out?”

I groan, throwing my head back. “God, your ego knows no bounds.”

He laughs. “Becs, you’re one of the best humans I know.” He covers my hand with his. “And trust me, I know a lot.”

“Yeah.” I shrug.

“Okay, that’s it. What’s got you all twisted up? Is it Braxton, ‘The Becca Tamer?’”

I roll my eyes at the stupid nickname. I made the mistake of telling him and Lee during brunch that I was going on a date, and neither one of them have let the idea go since. Probably because he’s the first man they’ve seen me date. Ever.

“Honey, you should know by now I can’t be tamed.” I force a grin.

“That’s right, baby. Don’t you forget it.” He taps the top of my hand with his finger. “I don’t like seeing the Queen of Bringing Men to Their Knees being kept in a cage.”

My heart thunks at his words.

“I’m serious, Becs. If you want to come to Cali for a while, you’re more than welcome to stay. You could take over babysitting duties for me.” His hands come together in prayer.

I snort. “Is that what you’ve been doin’ out there all this time? Here I was, thinkin’ you were makin’ it big.”

“I’m a man of many traits.” He smirks. “Really, it’s just my boss’s daughter. The girl never leaves me the hell alone. She’s annoying as hell…bratty. Kind of like someone else I know.” His eyes sparkle.

My eyes grow wide and I throw a hand to my heart. “Wow. She sounds terrible. Bratty and annoyin’? How will you survive?”

He doesn’t smile, just shakes his head, running a hand over the top of his head. “That’s the million-dollar question.”

“I don’t have the kind of money to come out there.”

It’s a weak excuse, one I’m using so I don’t have to face the truth.

Just like Momma.

His brows jerk up. “There was a time you wouldn’t have cared.”

“Well, things change.”

He hums, rubbing the scruff on his jaw. “And some things never do.”

* * *

Pulling into the church parking lot, I take a deep breath. It’s time to face what I’ve been dreading all weekend.

My meeting with Eli and his fiancée.

I have no idea what to expect. I know next to nothing about weddings and even less about helping to plan one in our church. I’m not sure why Papa decided I’d be the best choice for this, but regardless, I’m going to put my personal feelings aside and try to give Eli the best damn wedding he can dream of.

Even if it is to the girl I’ve always known would come between us.

The moment I saw them on Sunday, embracing outside of the church, it clicked. I’ve seen the back of that head before—on national television while she hugged on my man.

Just friends my ass.

A lick of anger flickers, but I tamp it down, knowing it has no right to exist.

Walking into my old man’s office, I’m surprised to see Papa sitting behind his desk, Eli and Sarah on the other side.

“Rebecca, you’re late,” Papa says.

Irritation grips my insides, making my jaw tense.

“Actually, Papa, I’m five minutes early.” I smile wide.

Eli scoffs.

I spin toward him, my annoyance lasering in on a target. “Somethin’ funny, Big Head?”

The nickname hurls out of me before I can catch it, my stomach jumping to my throat.

Eli stiffens, his eyes narrowing as they burn a hole through me. “You’ve never understood the importance of being punctual.”

That tamped down anger flares, sizzling off my skin. “And you never understood the importance of not bein’ a dick.”

His eyes flash, sparking a fire in my stomach as I hold his gaze.

“Rebecca. That’s enough,” Papa chastises.

My cheeks heat as I snap back to myself. I had forgotten where we were. Who we were with. Why we’re here.

Papa smiles. “I apologize for my daughter’s behavior. Seems her momma didn’t make those manners stick.”

Sarah giggles, and my head snaps to her at the same time that Eli’s does. I’m sure I imagine the way his eyes narrow. Papa preens at her attention, his grin growing, and I brace myself for the hits I know he’s about to rain down.

He holds eye contact with Sarah but throws his jabs my way. “Must be all those high schoolers she’s around all day long.”

I roll my eyes. “Papa, you make it sound like I’m still a student and not the faculty.”

“Oh, believe me, Rebecca Jean. I’m all too aware of your standin’ in this town.”

His words drill into the pit of my stomach, the shame of how this town sees me—how my family sees me—careening off my insides and blossoming on my cheeks.

My gaze drops, curls shadowing my face.

“Preacher Sanger.” Eli’s gripping his chair so tight his knuckles are white. My spirit soars, thinking he’s about to put Papa in his place, that someone’s going to defend me for once. “I don’t think this is a conversation to have in polite company. Do you need us to give you a few minutes?”

And just like that, my heart crashes, landing on its other broken pieces.

Of course he isn’t defending me. Why would he?

I’m a stupid girl with stupid expectations.

“No, no.” Papa waves him off. “I’m actually headin’ out. I have a meetin’ to get to.”

On cue, there’s a knock at the door.

Sally fucking Sanderson pops her head in. “Don, are you… Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt.”

The irritation in my veins ratchets higher, threatening to explode out of me at any second.

A brash laugh bubbles out before I can stop it. “Have fun in your ‘meetin’.’ Hope it doesn’t run late, so you can still make it home to your wife. ”

Something dark glimmers in Papa’s eyes, but he simply jerks his head and waltzes out of the room, his hand resting on the small of Sally’s back.

The sound of the door clicking shut echoes off the tension in the air.

So much for professionalism.

I inhale a deep breath, trying to find my center, but it’s too late. The scabs from my past have been picked open and left to bleed, and now they’re impossible to ignore.

“So.” I clap my hands, pasting a smile on my face. “Let’s talk weddin’s. As you can see”—I wave my hand toward the door Papa just left—“marriage is somethin’ to celebrate. Relationships last forever, even when you don’t want them to. Let’s get y’all hitched, shall we?”

I’m bitter and I know it, but screw this whole thing. This entire situation is a gigantic flashing sign, reminding me that this is the reason I left Eli all those years ago.

Because one day, he’d be having meetings with his mistress while I pine away, living in our memories. That fact is staring me directly in the face, in the form of a strawberry-blond, prim and proper angel, wearing his ring and sitting by his side.

The one he works with.

Just like Papa.

I stand up straighter, a renewed determination spreading through my chest. I did the right thing.

Small moments of happiness aren’t worth a lifetime of misery. I won’t forget that again.