Page 18

EIGHTEEN

BECCA

Time moves differently after a few glasses of wine.

Truthfully, I thought we were just grabbing a quick meal. I had convinced myself I would leave right after eating, not wanting to torture myself by staying next to Eli for long periods. I hate how much I like him. I feel like my loyalty to Lee is slipping away with every second in his presence.

But I can’t help it.

So here I am a few hours later. Still here.

The sun has long since dipped behind the sea—which you can see from his million-dollar deck. Holy crap, how did I not know Eli was loaded? Talk about a smack in the face when I pulled up to his mansion with a view.

“How many bedrooms does this place have, anyway?” I sip my glass of wine, relaxing on a lounge chair.

“Six.”

“ Six? For what? Who’s gonna be takin’ up the space? Not like your family’s gonna visit anytime soon.” My hand slaps over my mouth immediately, the wine loosening my tongue beyond what I meant to say.

Eli sighs. “No shit, right? They wouldn’t come out even if I asked.” He hangs his head, peering into the liquid swirling in his glass.

“Have you? Asked, that is.”

“Naw, why set myself up for the letdown, you know?”

My heart pinches at his words, but I’m not sure why he thinks that way. There’s nothing that Lee would want more than to see him.

“Eli, Lee wants to see you. You know that, right? She misses you. She loves you. She needs you.”

He scoffs, setting his glass on the wicker table and facing me, his elbows on his knees. “Please, spare me the theatrics, Becca. Lee doesn’t miss me. Lee doesn’t even know me. All she wants is someone there to help carry the weight of her life.”

I sit forward, anger piercing my chest for my best friend. How dare he act like she doesn’t care. “And that’s a bad thing because…?”

“Because nobody was there to help me carry mine!” he explodes, his hands flying out to his sides.

“You wouldn’t let them be!” I yell back. “Lee tells me how she tries with you. How she begs every time y’all talk for you to come home, and you just ignore her pleas. They fall on deaf ears…just like they always have.”

Now that the words are flowing, I can’t make them stop. It burns me up from the inside out knowing that he’s just left her there and clearly has no clue what she’s been going through. How dare he?

Eli’s spine stiffens, his eyes narrowing. “This comin’ from the girl who says she ‘gets it.’ You’re runnin’ so fast from your family, you can’t even catch your breath. You have no clue what you’re talkin’ about.”

That accent again . It’s his biggest tell. He can try to hide it all he wants, but his emotions show the truth of his roots, no matter how many layers of dirt he tries to bury them under.

He’s not wrong, though, unfortunately. His words cut into my skin, showing the hypocrisy underneath, but I won’t let him know I feel it. “The only clue I need is that you’re sittin’ pretty in a multimillion-dollar mansion while your family can barely make ends meet. Now why is that?”

“You think I don’t try to help them?” he hisses through clenched teeth.

“Obviously not enough.”

He chuckles, but it’s an empty sound. “Must be nice on that pedestal, Rebecca. Does it ever get lonely up there?”

Irritation flares, making my cheeks hot. “Probably as lonely as is it is down there with the people who abandon their family.”

“Well, make sure you ask Lee all about it when you talk to her next,” he bites back.

I suck in a breath, the twang in his voice and the glassy sheen in his eyes twisting my stomach.

Is he insinuating that Lee abandoned him ?

“What are you talkin’ about?”

He shakes his head, dusting off his pant legs as he stands. “It doesn’t matter. You’re right. I’m an asshole. Lee can do no wrong…and you should go.”

I move to sit on the edge of my lounger, reaching out and grasping his wrist. “Hold on. I’m…I’m sorry, all right? I spent a lotta years wipin’ Lee’s tears that came attached to your name. It’s hard for me to see past that to hear you.”

He nods sharply, but I can tell that he’s not open to hearing any more about this conversation. Guilt spins its web around me.

“It’s late,” he says.

It’s clearly a dismissal, but I don’t move from my spot. Not even when my mind is telling me to pull myself away, to stand strong in my loyalty to Lee. I swear there’s anguish swirling in Eli’s gaze, and it calls to the part of me that aches for understanding. The part that wishes someone in that godforsaken town would open their eyes and just see me for me. Accept me the way I am.

“You’re right,” I whisper. “I don’t know what I’m talkin’ about.”

His eyes lock on to mine, and my stomach jumps so high I swear it’s trying to leave my body.

It must know I’m a traitor for feeling about him the way I do.

My throat dries and I swallow, making the choice before my logical side can catch up to my mouth. “I don’t wanna go.”

His nostrils flare. “Pretty sure I didn’t give you the option.”

I blow out a breath, regret from my outburst inching through my body and squeezing my throat. Didn’t I just tell him the other day I understood?

I’m no better than my folks.

Nodding, I set down my wineglass and stand up, trying to ignore the way he makes my heart ache as I brush by him.

“Wait.” His hand grasps my wrist.

The word thickens the air, wrapping itself around my body and jerking me to a stop. I close my eyes, willing my heart to stop pounding so hard, afraid he’ll be able to hear. I don’t want him to know how much he affects me.

I wish he didn’t affect me at all.

His touch slides up my arm until he tangles his fingers in the curls of my hair and tugs slightly, exposing the side of my neck. I feel his breath blowing lightly as his nose skims along my skin.

“Why do you drive me so goddamn crazy?” he rasps.

“I don’t mean to,” I whisper.

He hums. The sound, low and gravelly, is a match to the pit inside of me, sparking a blaze so deep, I worry I’ll burn alive.

“You make me want things I shouldn’t. Things I can’t have,” he continues.

My heart races, my arms trembling against his fingers. “What do you want?”

The heat of his body flickers against my back, and his hands grip my shoulders like he’s afraid I’ll run from his words.

I can’t be sure I won’t.

“I want you . Riding me against the backdrop of the sky until your body becomes my horizon. On my face, so I can revel in your taste. In my bed, so I can bury myself deep inside you instead of settling for my dreams.”

His hips press into me.

“I want to say fuck the rules. Forget my sister. Fuck anybody who says we shouldn’t be together. How come they all get a say? They don’t have to live with the torment of not being able to touch you.”

My breath hitches.

“I want you to admit you feel this the same way I do.”

My heart bangs against my ribs, and I bite my tongue to keep from spilling the truth.

“Say it.”

I shake my head, my eyes squeezing tight. I can’t.

His hand grasps my jaw, twisting my face toward him. His grip is strong, and my breathing grows heavy from the sting of his touch.

Our lips brush.

“Say it.” His voice is sharp, deep. Authoritative. It should piss me off, but all it does is turn me on. The hold on my restraint slackens, the need to please him rushing through my system and pouring out of my mouth.

“I feel it,” I whisper.

As soon as the words hit the air, his mouth crashes into mine. My body sings from his taste, and his comments linger on my skin.

Why should they get a say?

I spin in his arms, allowing our kiss to deepen. He groans, his other hand moving to frame my face, cupping both sides of my jaw, and I’m lost. Totally and completely lost in him. I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t want to.

So I won’t.

I’ll give in to whatever this is between us and pray to God it doesn’t take us both down in its fury.